There Is No Chad

Chad Thundercock, the famed internet meme and PUA boogeyman for nearly 2 decades, has been the stuff of blue pill beta nightmares.

He’s the dude that makes all of your wives or girlfriends wet with just a single smile, the guy who lives in the gym and fucks your girl.

He’s the “dream” for any woman who’s looking for that quick score, the guy on Spring Break in Cancun who hosts the wet t-shirt party, the guy who smashes the beer can over his head, the guy with confidence for years.

Here’s the issue: He doesn’t exist. He’s a figment of an imagination of guys convinced that hypergamy is an immovable object and Chad is the unstoppable force. He’s painted as the main villain to guys who don’t do enough in their lives to lead their wives / girlfriends.

“Chad” lives in the minds of terrified men.

“It’s Not My Fault”

Men are lost in these troubled times.

But what’s worse, men aren’t taking responsibility for being lost. In our current climate where victimhood is rewarded with attention, men would rather blame some faceless meat head than admit they have work to do. They’d rather fire off the “hypergamy doesn’t care” trope than look at the dude in the mirror and realize that maybe, just maybe, he’s responsible for his own life, and not some steroid induced alpha trying to spread his seeds all over God’s green Earth.

I’m here to break it to you, guys. “Chad” doesn’t exist. He’s just a dude who outworkes, outshines, or out-talents you in a certain aspect of your life. That’s it.

Men, you have a responsibility to yourself to make strides and improvements in your life.

Nowadays, men instead settle for the fact that they must do things to gain intimacy with their wives, high fives for eating a whole pizza (I’ve been there), watching porn, cheering on other guys playing sports, playing video games, and generally not doing anything to improve themselves or their relationships with their significant others.

They allow themselves to get fat, destitute, and slovenly, as well as refuse to work towards any kind of self improvement.

So imagine their surprise when their girlfriend or wife sleeps with another man. Instead of facing the potential embarrassment of realizing the issue was possibly their fault, they rely on “Chad” in all of his perfection, to come to the rescue and keep their pride intact just enough to push off any doubts that he was the “loving husband” and supportive man.

“How dare she sleep with another man? She’s obviously letting her hypergamous nature off the leash and Chad Thundercock was the right man at the right time for her.”

See how it works? He’s let off the hook for his actions, and hers are absolutely abhorrent. “Chad” saves the day again, and saves the man’s face.

The cycle repeats. “Chad” is both a villain and a hero.

“It’s Hard to Take Responsibility for Yourself”

So why does “Chad” exist?

Because it’s hard to admit fault. It’s hard to take responsibility for shitty choices in life. It’s hard to get rid of destructive habits.

It’s hard.

People don’t want to accept they’ve made a mistake, especially men. It’s emasculating to men if their significant other cheats on them, especially with another man who they may deem “less” of a man than they are.

So “Chad” is invoked, and it makes men feel better.

“I couldn’t possibly competed with this dude, he was jacked, runs a million dollar business, has a nice car, etc.”

What they don’t want to admit is that their wife / girlfriend cheated with Rob in accounting or Dave who buses tables at the local pub.

The point?

“Chad” exists because men allow him to, rather than becoming their own version of “Chad”.

Self improvement is hard. I know. I’m living it. I make mistakes daily. I admit them and sack up and move on.

But is it so hard to try and make a better product for your wife or girlfriend so that “Chad”, evil “Chad”, doesn’t take her away from you?

Apparently, yes. Men no longer challenge themselves to be better, instead opting for victim hood and the prize of sympathy. “Chad” cures a lot of ills, especially any indication of a man’s lack of character, strength, sexual prowess, and leadership in a failed relationship.

Men don’t want to be seen as weak. We don’t like showing our deficits.

But here’s the thing.

If we’re going to grow up and get out of blaming “Chad” for everything, we need to start by owning it. Every fucking ounce.

“Kill Your Beta and Kill Your Chad”

Just like a blue pilled beta, the “Chad” crowd likens him to an untouchable man, someone so perfect that no one could compete. Six pack abs, football star, killer smile, the woman getter, etc. You have to kill the “Chad” fantasy. It doesn’t exist.

So what’s the quickest way to kill “Chad”? Well, start by acknowledging that he never existed, and that only you and your situation exist.

Acknowledging that you made mistakes and failed in your responsibility of a doomed relationship is the first step in getting rid of “Chad”.

Seeing your faults and weaknesses and working on them is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of growth and strength. Make this mindset the cornerstone of your new outlook, and Chad continues to fade away.

Look at ways your life is below average. Do a self evaluation about what happened to your relationship. The only thing you can control is how you act, react, and contribute. That’s it. What shortcomings did you have? Get them all out on the table and work on every last one of them.

Can’t talk to girls? Learn game.

Fat? Work out.

Crappy clothes? Style.

Carry yourself better, work to improve, and all of the sudden, “Chad” is gone and the real world “Chad” that is you emerges.

You’ve become “Chad”. What a fucking concept.

But you’ve got to want to do the work.

Most men wait out their self improvement phase until something bad happens in their life. Stop waiting.

The more you work, the less you’ll tend to blame “mysterious” outside forces beyond your control, “Chad” included. He’s not to blame. You are.

The red pill’s primary goal is to get men to take responsibility for their own lives, and stop living under the guise of not having control over yourself. “Chad”, just like being blue pilled, is another mechanism used to try and push blame away from ourselves and onto another entity. It shows that we lack control. It shows that we’ll gladly preempt responsibility for anything else. It shows laziness and lack of self esteem. It’s the easy route, it’s the comfort zone. That line of thinking sucks.

Blue pilled men who take the red pill try desperately to avoid the hard truth. And one of those hard truths is that you alone control your destiny, not imaginary dudes with a six pack. Your failures, your setbacks, your disappointments, your lack of control, your general lethargy to your own life are all yours.

Stop blaming “Chad”.

Ed Latimore

One of the things that I’m going to start doing is linking some guys in our space that I consider mentors to me in my journey.

And one of the biggest that I follow and learn from is Ed Latimore. He has taught me so much in terms of social skills and having successful habits that I wanted to give him a shout out! I often retweet his sage words as well as his strategies for helping people become better in all facets of their lives.

He has many articles, but one that I have used the most is his take on building a network in 2019. I network a ton, and I’ve used Ed’s information to help me be successful in my business and personal life, as well as my current side hustle.

https://edlatimore.com/how-to-build-a-network-in-2019/

Ed has some very fascinating insights on network building, but the biggest thing that he states is to “lead with value.” Begging for time with bigger names doesn’t work, you have to develop valuable skills that other people admire, or become successful in your own right, as well as working to become a bigger influence in your desired field.

Ed is a fantastic follow on Twitter (@EdLatimore) and also check out his web site and subscribe to his email list, which I receive on a regular basis with all sorts of awesome advice for being successful.

Click here for his site.

The LA Chronicles

The orange glow of the midday city sun cut through the thick smog. Carolyn was driving, listening to some tight Spanish tunes, I sat in the back with my thoughts, reflecting on what had been my first journey by myself anywhere ever.

And I could’ve gone anywhere. The Great Lakes, Florida, Texas. I could’ve done the Grand Canyon. I could’ve done Boston, the northeast. I could’ve gone to New York.

But here I was: Los Angeles

The wind blew in my hair, my sunburnt skin reacting to the cool breeze. I sat quietly, contemplating my life as it was right now, and where I was. What I was. I’d come so far.

My crossroads.

I’d done much since my divorce 3 years ago. I’d cultivated a now budding side hustle as a blogger, giving advice to men in my situation, including how to get back into the dating pool. I’m a successful business owner, leading a family run business for almost a decade through the trials and tribulations that befall or bless said business. I’d learned how to date again, practicing my newly found game over the past 18 months, and getting more successful by the day. I’d struggled with my child’s epilepsy diagnosis and all the uncertainty that came with it. All through, I morphed from another red pilled guru type spouting off diatribes against beta males, single moms, IG models, and hypergamy, to sharing my own journey with weight loss, fatherhood, dating and relationships.

And here I was, on my way to Laguna. The 5 wasn’t bad at all for midday, although LA is such a huge city that going anywhere by car means “road trip”.

This excursion was in part a midday getaway on my last day here, and also a lunch date that had cancelled. I kept on, determined now more than ever to live this last day in the City of Angels with the same flair I had lived my life since becoming unplugged and entering the world on my terms some 3 years ago.

Why was I here?

I had several amazing friends I wanted to see. I knew one from many endeavors, and I had wanted to visit for sometime. One friend in particular was eager to show me her city. She as well as the others lived out there, so it became a long weekend of fun in the sun and an experience I wouldn’t soon forget.

Los Angeles is such an indescribably beautiful city. Millions of different cultures wedged in between the Sierras on the east and the Pacific Ocean on the west. It’s built like a giant chaotic mess, with small chateaus, bungalows, and cool eclectic dives sharing the roads with million dollar homes. Gas stations look up to huge hills filled with massive homes, looking like fortresses watching the invaders they turned back.

Everything walks, rides, or bikes. All the stuff is within walking distance. Like little bubbles pooled together, each sector of the city breathes its own life, with neighbors seeing each other at Starbucks, the grocery store buzzing with activity, and the joggers out in force.

LA is a fit town. The people are beautiful. Everyone’s in shape. Everyone’s waiting for their big break. But they all love it here. It’s a rich, diverse, crazy home, but it’s theirs. The people are so warm, kind, generous, welcoming, and generally good natured that you can’t help but fall in love with all of it.

Rolling down highway 1, California’s iconic site, I was amazed. Beautiful palm trees, rolling hills, blue skies and beautiful blue water. My Lyft driver turned into the Ritz Carlton, dropped me off, and went on with her day. That’s what I noticed. Everyone is LA grinds and hustles, but they do it with a smile. It’s always sunny, so why not?

I walk around. Sun is blazing, the air off the ocean smells like the Earth’s breath, fresh from each tide push. The reflections off of the yellow and orange buildings makes the sun seem millions of miles closer. The brilliance is something to behold. As I walk, I can’t help but feel this city is speaking to me, a voice I haven’t heard before but now listen to intently.

I keep walking. I knew where I wanted to go. After watching my diet for the trip, I had a cheat day, and I wanted a giant sub. A small deli was situated just past the hotel, so I struck out to that very place. I wanted a sandwich.

You can tell a lot about a city by its food. Over the course of the past 5 days, I had a chance to sample the best food from the most unassuming places. Little hole in the wall restaurants are always where I go, because they have the best food, as well as the pulse of a city and its identity. The people that work there truly love it, and it’s why I try to find just those places.

And I couldn’t have been more happy with any of it. The staff looked like 20 somethings waiting for their big break, but in the meantime proud to work for a sandwich shop that takes care of its customers. Great, earthy people who have taken on the identity of their city, all while cultivating their own life from the mountains and beaches they inhabit.

I sat and dined, enjoying people watching as I ate. I wanted to read, but kept looking up from my book to just watch the world of Southern California walk by. You can’t help but be fascinated by the folks that meander to their destinations. Tan skinned beauties, surfer dudes, boomers with fedoras, and housewives grabbing a beer.

So as I finished, I went for another excursion. As I walked, I thought about all that I’d experienced. Meeting new friends who exposed me to a whole new world. I painted for the first time since I was a child. My picture, as California as everything else I saw, was painted with a new energy flowing through me given to me by this land. I just can’t describe it any other way. The brush took on a life of own, and showed me, just like everything else here, just what I was capable of when I stop and let life take the wheel.

I called for my Lyft, because no self respecting SoCal visitor rides Uber. As I got in, I looked around one last time at this alluring landscape. When all you see as an Indiana boy is nothing but flat, green fields, this landscape can seem alien at first, but does it ever impress as you view it totally.

The driver and I chatted on our way back about LA life, pick up and game, the pros and cons of online dating, and how well the Clippers would be this year. He was truly a Southern California star, open, warm, and engaging. For almost two hours, we spoke like brothers, even though we were separated by 2000 miles for most of our lives. It’s like good friends who haven’t seen each other for years picking right back up where they left off.

As he let me off at my hotel, I thought about my trip. The great friend I had made who showed me around this great city. She truly made me feel at home in a amalgamation of 20 million souls, all bound together by a sense of belonging, regardless of race, creed, or color. She made it seem so small and welcoming. She was proud of her city. She lived it everyday and showed it to me. Her friends were mine, with every laugh filling the air with joy of a perspective I didn’t know, but was glad to be a part of.

I came to LA not knowing a thing about it, but I left with a new found enchantment of a truly unique city. I was able to find a distinctive voice that opened up a whole new part of myself I didn’t realize was there. This city changed me for the better, and for that I am truly blessed.

I also made a lifelong friend, who made my LA experience truly magical. I’m forever grateful for her friendship. You shared your city with me, you showed me compassion when I was alone, and you took me to places that I would never had known existed. I can’t thank you enough for your hospitality. It meant the world to me.

So goodbye LaLaLand. I’m glad you opened your doors to me and added yet another layer of experience to my already growing travel life. You embraced me and made me a believer. I’ll most certainly be back.

I’m an honorary Los Angeleno. And like the great Billy Joel, the song “Los Angelenos” lyrics tell the story that I just lived in my “funky exile” that I wouldn’t ever give back.

“Los Angelenos
All come from somewhere
To live in sunshine
Their funky exile
Midwestern ladies
High-heeled and faded
Drivin’ sleek new sports cars
With their New York cowboys

Hiding up in the mountains
Laying low in the canyons
Goin’ nowhere on the streets
With the Spanish names
Makin’ love with the natives
In their Hollywood places
Making up for all the time gone by

Los Angelenos
All come from somewhere
Cuz it’s all so easy
To become acquainted
Electric babies
Blue-jeaned and jaded
Such hot sweet schoolgirls
So educated

Tanning out in the beaches
With their Mexican reefers
No one ever has to feel
Like a refugee
Going into garages
For exotic massages
Making up for all the time gone by
Hiding up in the mountains
Laying low in the canyons
Goin’ nowhere on the streets
With the Spanish names
Makin’ love with the natives
In their Hollywood places
Making up for all the time gone by

Los Angelenos
All come from somewhere
It’s so familiar
Their foreign faces.”

Thank you, City of Angels.

Face the Music – Part 2

Photo Credit: The Week

This is Part 2 of a two part series on my recent experiences with the Twitter Right Think Mob.

Hunter Drew, the face and head of an organization I am a proud member of, the Fraternity of Excellence, has always been there for me. When I was a nobody on Twitter, he promoted my posts, my vision, and was there to help me. So, in return, I joined his organization hoping to find a tribe of men that I could be a part of.

I wouldn’t be disappointed.

What I found was a great group of men, committed to each other and their causes, focused on finding purpose, supportive of each other during times of good and bad news. I found men who encouraged each other, held each other accountable for their actions, and had fantastic discussions about all sorts of topics, from life with kids to jobs to personal loss.

Hunter had it all set up. Support pages, introductions, meetups, blogs, everything a man could use to communicate with other men about problems and successes he was having every day. He even had fitness stuff!

I’ve yet to do Hunter’s program “31 Days to Masculinity”, but I’m excited to get started on it. But this all leads me to believe one thing.

Every man needs a tribe.

So what the hell does this have to do with this blog post? Well, as a matter of fact, quite a bit.

Hunter tweets regularly, and like myself, proudly shares his life on Twitter. He posts some amazing stuff, and like me, also posts stuff that he believes that could be construed as unpopular. And like me, he got a bit of shit from posting this tweet earlier this week:

And WTF is wrong with this tweet?

The biggest problem with this that women had? The dresses.

That this tweet was taken as misogynistic shows how little particular women, especially feminists, take themselves seriously. There is nothing offensive about this, just a man spelling out a list of things he’d recommend to current and future moms.

Thousands of screaming women descended upon Hunter’s feed like ticks on a monkey. They routinely accused him of “telling them what to do”. Some examples of his detractors:

The Problem with Outrage

When the outrage mob came for Hunter, they did the same thing that they did to me. His tweet was innocuous enough, but how it was taken by the Folks Offended by Everything™ was the issue here. They don’t deal in subtlety. Everything that is posted can be taken as a perceived slight.

Hunter was simply pushing his opinion about how to be a better mother, and it was met with women questioning how he had any authority to tell women anything.

Here’s the thing, outrage mob, he didn’t. You ascended him into that position by replying to his tweet, which you didn’t have to do either.

The mob feels like they are constantly on alert for bullies, those who think differently than them. And the ultimate prize? The slam of said bully.

Social justice is on display real-time on Twitter. Victimhood charlatans are out on the prowl for any perceived racist, sexist, homophobic, or even fatphobic (their word, not mine) threat, looking to slam the bully in full view of the eyes of millions, to show that no virtue is below defending, as long as we show what is “wrong” and what is “right”.

With replies like the above, completely devoid of any context, just yelling at Hunter because he had to audacity to put out an unpopular, yet valid, opinion, women who reacted once again showed why they only get taken seriously when they threaten to silence their detractors. Instead of debating Hunter on the semantics of his statement, they decidedly marketed it as wrong think and placed it in the box of shame for all others.

These women act as the arbiters of truth, even though they are merely the peddlers of outrage.

The minute they got offended was the minute they let Hunter have authority. Instead of respectfully disagreeing with this opinion, they decided to burn the witch, they weren’t having it. Why? Nothing in his post even came close to misogyny. He believes, as do I, that women embracing their femininity is good for everything in the long run.

But women with a grand distaste for men, especially feminists, would rather die than be beholden to men. And that’s what so funny. Men aren’t even coming close to asking them or making them do anything. They’ve earned their rights, and no one is interested in taking those away. But we can still pine for a day when women again use their femininity in concert with men, and stop fighting the idea that men and women can get along, not one being submissive to the other.

But that’s never what modern feminism was about. It was never about equality. It was about revenge. Revenge for our past as men, where women were treated as second class citizens. We had nothing to do with it, but we sure have to pay for it.

The Big Deal

So what about Hunter’s tweet pissed off so many women?

The dresses? Really? Women wearing dresses is nothing new, but Hunter never said women couldn’t wear what they wanted, just that if they want to be better mothers, they should try to be more feminine.

Look, women can wear whatever the hell they want. Anyone can.

But what Hunter is saying is a larger problem permeating the now fempowerment culture. Women refuse to play to their strengths, instead trying to be like men. Many women feel that acting like women means they have to be subservient to men. That is the furthest thing from the truth.

Many women will go out of their way to avoid doing anything to please men. Because actually pleasing men is frowned upon.

Why? Because many feminists believe that pleasing men is beneath them. They feel like they are going back in time when women were subservient to men, when in fact, it’s just a gesture of personal gratification. Men are encouraged to please women, but they caveat is for them to be subservient to women because “women have done it long enough and it’s time for men to do it.”

Feminism has never been about equality, it’s about revenge.

The time for hating men is upon us. Modern men, who had nothing to do with past oppression against women and have actually pushed reforms to make equality a reality, are now the enemy, because simply being a man is now toxic. Manspreading, mansplaining, etc, have all become buzz words for feminism’s war on men, and it’s getting worse the further into the 21st century we get.

What’s wrong with a person who believes in the traditional sense of the roles men and women play. Both genders need to play to their strengths, as well as limit trying to do what the other has agency over.

In short, men are better at being men, women are better at being women, both bring things to the table and complement each other.

And we’ve lost that.

The List

  • Be Feminine

There’s nothing wrong in the least with being feminine, especially as a mom. Many feminists see being feminine as submitting to men, and this is the furthest thing from the truth. Femininity is a powerful, and it can wield quite the power over a man, which in and of itself is a superpower. Femininity has built empires.

  • Wear Dresses

There is nothing wrong with wearing dresses. It accentuates a woman’s feminine qualities and is beautiful to boot (especially if she has the body for it.).

  • Don’t hit your kids

This one goes without saying, JFC. Don’t ever hit your kids, men or women.

  • Enforce boundaries

Many single mom households are boundaryless, hence we are seeing more issues with kids not being told “no”. This also goes for marriages when both parents don’t enforce boundaries. Kids need boundaries, or they will become unruly and disrespectful.

  • Be Physically active

Why not? In my epic struggle with ham planetness, men and women need to be more physically active, not only to show their kids a healthy lifestyle, but also to engage in fun, exciting, sexual activity with their significant other.

  • Don’t Tease Your Kids

As we know, kids don’t do well with teasing. Try to limit this as much as you can and maintain your composure as the adult. Tease too much and kids will dismiss you when you attempt to discipline.

  • Cook your family’s meals

Absolutely nothing wrong with caring for your family by cooking their meals. When “cooking” and “cleaning” come up, those are buzz words for feminism to attack. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman caring for her family by doing chores, especially if she wants to.

  • Don’t Call Your Children Names

This goes with the teasing. Children are just that, children. They may not understand what you mean, have a short attention span, and get upset when then don’t think something is right or “fair”. Don’t exacerbate the situation by acting like a child yourself back to them. This does nothing but escalate their behavior.

  • Don’t Get Drunk In Front of Them

Once again, this should go without saying. I never get drunk, but especially not in front of my kids. Be an example for them, and don’t let yourself lose control, regardless of the occasion or difficulties you’ve faced.

  • Do Cheer Your Kids On

Show you care. A parent who cares about their kids and their well being will be at every event they can catch, especially sports. Cheer them on regardless of win or lose. Show effort in them, and they’ll return that effort for you.

Conclusion

So what’s wrong with this list? None of these are particularly offensive, yet many women called this list “misogynist”.

Hint? It isn’t. It’s feminists fighting with the idea of a man having an idea about what they should be or how they should act. It’s a power play to deflect a perfectly reasonable list away from the fact that this is man telling women “how to act”.

It’s recommendations and an opinion.

Men are allowed to have those, for now.

A Father’s Journey Update: My Weight Loss Journey

March 2018 and July 2019

So I have a quick update on my weight loss journey! I’m down nearly 60 lbs from my weight last year! I just wanted to thank everyone who has helped me. I started this journey at 308, and now I am hovering around 250.

If you don’t think you can do it, look at my progress. You can do it. Get to work.

Please look into these people, they will help you with your weight loss goals.

bodcompany.com

jenjenfitness.com

AJA Cortes