Hypergamy

Photo credit:  The Modern Man

Recently, I’ve seen quite a few posts on SoSuave and other manosphere forums about Hypergamy and how important a role it plays in our current dating atmosphere in 2018.

Hypergamy, as it’s definition states, is “the action of marrying a person of a superior caste or class.”
However, in using it with respect to today’s Western civilization terms, it is an innate, involuntary response by females to seek out a mate of high quality.   Most of the time, depending on her sexual market value and where she is in that process, she’ll either fall for the alpha male, or the best beta male she can get.

While this can be a daunting situation to deal with, for the beta male, it is insurmountable.  With a beta male’s lack of confidence, lack of leadership, lack of masculinity, hypergamy takes no prisoners.  Many a beta has seen his hopes dashed after a quick bout of oneitis has manifested itself, then turned into anger and frustration after his precious lady has jumped on an alpha’s cock.  After all, Hypergamy doesn’t care

So what is one to do?  Many of the posts I’ve seen put hypergamy into an all powerful, unassailable obstacle.  This drives men to claim they have no control over the effects of hypergamy, leading them down the path of incels, looksmaxing, and general misogyny.

So how can men react to this evolutionary ideal?  By bettering themselves.

Look, I can’t give you a silver bullet.  Women are driven by finding the best male they can.  No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone better than you.

But, using self enrichment, you can become the best version of yourself, thereby increasing your chances with hotter and hotter women.  Find a hobby.  Focus on your career.  WORK OUT.  Read.  Learn.  When you have knowledge, you gain confidence.  Women will start to take notice of your newest advantages.  And suddenly, a woman in your life will not be the most important thing, just another benefit of your new outlook.

It works.  Experience for me is the greatest teacher.  Last year, I dated a girl for about 3 months and was a complete beta.  She dumped me, and it was then I decided to work on me, find myself, learn, grow.  Now, with this new found confidence, improved physique, and knowledge I’ve afforded myself, the attraction from other women is real.

Do this.  It’s not a woman’s fault if she’s not attracted to you.  It’s yours.  Get off your ass and get to work. 

My extensive knowledge of this subject comes from Rollo Tomassi and the Rational Male.  He is the best authority I know for matters of the man.  Check out his blog and also read his books

Becoming the Red Pill Dad

During my divorce, my life spun out of control.  As always with divorce, there are severe financial ramifications, as well as pressure to move forward and get life as quickly back to normal as possible.

There are kids involved, so I took the path that I knew would be best for me.  My ex and I avoided the courts, opting for mediation instead of dueling lawyers.  Through great financial strain, I managed to counter every thrust my ex through at me, and we decided amicably to finalize monetary settlements.  I arranged to pay everything for my kids, providing all finances for them, while leaving my ex-wife with a very small sum for official child support.

I wanted to make sure that this divorce was on my terms, and it was.

So after a rough patch, I decided to do Spartan races.  While all of this was going on, my divorce was being finalized, I decided to get into shape.  I went to the gym a ton to reduce stress, and signed up for Spartan.  I had never done OCR (Obstacle Course Races) before, and with everything going on in
my life, it was a chance to prove to myself I could do it, as well as meet fit chicks I could ask out.

As I did each race, I struggled with finding out what my life was all about, who I was.  I still didn’t know.  But during one race in southwest Ohio, I lost track of my team.  I was alone, in the middle of a muddy mess, with 10 more miles to go and daylight fading quickly.  I found out a lot about myself in that race.  I found out what I was made of.  I didn’t quit (even though I wanted to).  I fought until the end, and found my team waiting for me.  I had done it.  I didn’t think I was capable, but my confidence skyrocketed.  

But the Beta still lurked….

After my divorce, dating became the same as before I started, however, this time, I managed to meet more girls and have more sex.  Of the 10 plus girls I dated in this phase, I slept with 5 of them, 2 were one night stands.  Most of these were single moms whom I had nothing in common with, but we both filled a need.  It wasn’t very fulfilling. 

I was still in the Beta mindset, as I figured I needed to jump right back into the LTR (long term relationship) phase.  I was stupid.  I was still naive.  Enter a woman named Tiffany….

I met Tiffany through OLD (online dating).  She was about 5 years younger than me, had never been married, was a professional, and seemed to be everything I was looking for.  I was the consummate Beta throughout our 3 month relationship.  Frame was abandoned almost immediately, as I was pushing for another relationship.  I liked this girl.  I had oneitis.  I abandoned everything about me to make it about her.  I was pathetic.

All was going well, then one night late last July, she called me to dump me.  I didn’t know why.  Why did she dump me?  I wasn’t as hurt as I was confused.  After about a month of questioning myself, I decided (with help from my psychologist) to follow a path of self discovery.  It was time to learn who I was, become a better version of myself, and unleash that person on the world.

I read.  A lot.  I studied.  I discovered Rollo Tomassi and the Rational Male.  I read Robert Greene.  I read Alan Roger Currie.  I read The Game by Neil Strauss.  I watched Youtube, I subscribed to blogs.  It was time to become the real me.

I soon became Red Pill aware.  I was finally becoming informed as to why I had failed all those years with women.  All of the sudden, it became clear to me that my success hinged on me.  My attitude.  My work.  My point of view.

While studying, I spent the winter and early spring at the gym.  Improving myself.  All the while, I would try the techniques suggested in the books.  I was getting dates.  I continued to study.  The game had not become about scoring with girls (although that was going to be a great perk), but about becoming a new man.  Becoming the best version of myself.  I was winning in my life for the first time ever.

I was scorned by close friends and family members.  I had changed.  This wasn’t the man they knew.  That’s how I knew it was working.  They had steered me for all of my life, but now I was in charge of me.  They had no say.  I was the master of my own destiny.  And that was the greatest power I could ask for. 

A little over a year after unplugging, I have seen a tremendous improvement in my life.  I recently met a beautiful girl whom I would have never been able to go up to and ask out.  But because I was a quality man, she came up to me.  She saw my confidence.  And throughout this process, I have maintained frame.  I am still on a journey of self discovery.  But meeting this girl has taught me to be the best version of me I can be, and she really likes me for it.  I’m not pretending anymore, I am genuine.  And women notice.

As I type this, I look back at all the times I pined for girlfriend, I complained I didn’t have anyone, I put myself down because I couldn’t attract hot women.  But, even though it took years to overcome, I now see this side of the Red Pill.  I now see that self improvement is the bedrock of confidence in oneself, and I can’t thank those enough whom I read to become Red Pill aware.

So, I have decided to try to help those who were like me, especially those with kids, to become Red Pill aware.  I want to reach out and help those guys who struggle daily with themselves.  I want to be a beacon in the darkness that is the Feminine Imperative.  You’re not alone, guys.  Let me shine a light into your world.

I am the Red Pill Dad.

A Beta Life

I’ve lived most of my life as a Beta, or AFC (Average Frustrated Chump).

Weak willed, I developed one-itis on every occasion a woman struck my fancy.  In high school and through college, I was smitten with one girl whom I hoped would someday say yes to me, and we could live happily ever after.  After her fucking two of my close friends, I kept myself up wondering:

“Why couldn’t this girl like me?  I was so nice to her, I did everything she asked, I was always available to talk.”

“This was how I was told it was supposed to be.  Everyone told me this.”

One day, after all the stress to myself, I snapped.  I blew up at her.  She had LJBF’d (Let Just Be Friends) me so many times, I couldn’t handle it.  Needless to say, we stopped talking and the friendship ended.

This set the tone for my life.  Same story.  Girls would friend-zone me after I would not declare my intentions, I would stew about it while she fucked my friends, then I would blow up at her.  Rinse, repeat.

In late 2003, I met my ex-wife.  I was so ensconced in my Beta male life, I had to go to on-line dating.  I thought everyday about having a girlfriend.  I thought this was the apex of my life, why I lived.  And the worst part of it was, I was just beginning to come out of my shell (finally) and see some Red Pill truths, but just as I was, I was pulled back down.

I lost my virginity at 27 to my ex-wife.  I had finally gotten laid.  I had finally found my soulmate.

For 10 years, I lived in Beta male bliss.  Sex with my ex-wife diminished to the point that she allowed me to purchase porn movies and subscriptions.  I had two kids with her, and lived my life as if this was how it was supposed to be.  AFC style.  I had it down.

Then a few years ago, I made a fateful decision.  After attending therapy for some anger issues (AFC anger), I had an epiphany.  I was unhappy in my marriage.  I should be having sex, I shouldn’t just be the guy who brings home the check, kisses his wife on the cheek, and gets busy on the “Honey do” list.  So after this revelation, I sat up in bed one very cold winter evening, and told my ex-wife, “It’s over.  I want a divorce.”

She was speechless.  At first, she was desperate.  She saw her meal ticket flying away.  I had helped her pay off her student loans, her car, and her many different job skills that she had tried and quit. She didn’t respect me, I was a clown.  I rolled over for her, we seldom fought because of this.

The worst problem?  My kids didn’t respect me.  They watched as time and time again, I rolled over to my ex-wife.  I went to work, I came home, grabbed my list of her demands, and got to work.  Had I not had therapy, I would have died this way.  Being plugged in is not a way to live a life.

Now I was getting a voice, and she wasn’t happy.

We went to couples therapy.  My mind was set.  I needed to move on.  My life was too short to live this way.

I had lived 37 years as a Beta male.  Was this the turning point?  Could I finally live my life for me?  

Part 2 on Monday.

Welcome to The Red Pill Dad

Welcome to The Red Pill Dad

Good morning, and welcome to the launch of my new blog!

The Red Pill Dad, as the title suggests, is a blog not only about my observations in life as a single father, but also as a Red Pill aware man navigating this life.

My blog is designed to help me catalogue my journey, but also to help other men in similar situations confront the real (sometimes bitter) truth about inter-gender dynamics.

How do you interact with women as a single dad?  How do you date as a single dad in this day and age?  What successes have you had?  What lessons have you learned (or are still learning)?

This blog is intended to be interactive, as I’m always looking for any advice as well as dispensing what I know.

With the Feminine Imperative stronger than ever, men have to be equipped with the best information to not only survive in this environment, but to thrive and succeed.

Thank you and welcome.

-The Red Pill Dad