Men in Parenting

Photo Credit: Indian Express

This is the final part of my “Men In” Series

So here it is. I have to address the elephant in the room. As my writings have all suggested, I am the Red Pill “Dad”, so what in the world am I doing to raise my kids in a Red Pill manner?

I’ve been a single dad now for almost 3 years. One thing that I have learned is that kids need their dads, now more then ever. The statistics don’t lie. Fathers are needed to make every aspect of their child’s life better, and this doesn’t just make them better children, it makes them better adults.

When men and women started to bolt from their responsibilities of having safe sex, especially with the advent of birth control, we’ve seen single parent households skyrocket. These households have produced troubled kids, with mothers and fathers having unprotected sex, getting pregnant, and hating each other, it was up to one or the other to take care of the kids (in many cases, it was the mother).

So enter the State as the third party, helping to “right the wrongs” of dastardly men who dare pump and dump, leaving the woman, as if there was only one side to blame. Men have been demonized because they did this, and natural inclinations of women are to blame the men for not supporting them and their kids, but it does take two to tango.

So women now use the state as their surrogate father, while men procreate with potential criminal recourse. But where’s the responsibility for the women? With the Feminine Imperative driving family law and the court system, there is only criminal charges for the man, and cash and prizes for the woman, but they both were involved in creating the child.

The Feminine Imperative and other outlets seem to be encouraging the single mother. With 10 million single mother households and rising here in the US, nothing is being done to encourage two parent households. It’s everyone doubling down in a game that no one wins.

Obviously, I’m not impartial, as being on the male end of family law has only made me question the whole process more, however, I feel like a lot has been lost in western countries on how to get the family unit back together. I do believe that feminism has in part helped to destroy this mindset, with the State playing willing accomplice. So what can be done?

Be A Dad

Women shame men constantly to “man up” and “provide for their kids.” This is a shit test. I don’t agree that guilt and shame from the Feminine Imperative should be the motivating factor for men to act. A man should want to take care of his kids and be a good father.

I can tell you through personal experience that my existence has been greatly enhanced by having kids. I’m there for them, I support them in all their endeavors, I want them to succeed. Too many dads are mailing it in, and have become the matriarchs of their family, they’ve become lazy. They’ve put down their mantle, working jobs they hate, saying two words to their kids as they head to see the baseball scores and have a beer.

Fatherhood is more than just providing for your kids. If it were that easy, we wouldn’t have the issues we have in Western society. Not only do I support my children financially, I go to my child’s events, I help them with homework, I attend school functions, I am part of my child’s parent teacher organization. I interact with them every day I have them, I’m present. This takes more for me because I also run my own company, sometimes up to 60-70 hours a week. But I still take time for my kids. This isn’t being some kind of superhero, this is required stuff for fathers.

Kids crave a strong male presence in their lives, it gives them perspective that they wouldn’t get from just their mother. It gives them predominately male values that help them succeed. It gives them discipline, strength, loyalty, respect, ambition, drive, and fight. Now, it doesn’t help that these values are being demonized as “toxic masculinity”, and I fight the FI everyday to prove that these are not only needed, but required for kids to have.

Imagine a child without access to these strong, masculine values, and you get to the crux on why western kids are so messed up.

Raising Red Pill Aware Kids

So, how will I proceed in this fem-centric society, especially raising young girls? First, understanding feminine nature is paramount to raising young girls. You are only going to have so much control in what choices your kids will make, and I can only show them the type of man they may want to marry. Strong, masculine father figures help women, when they’ve grown, know exactly what they want. But you can only do so much.

I know that I cannot control hypergamous natures of women. I will be powerless to control my kids eventual choices, I can show them how to navigate this world:

-Avoiding blue pilled betas with no inner sense of purpose

-Not sleeping around with dozens of Chads and getting the thousand cock stare

-Embracing their femininity as well as beauty, poise, and confidence, and other quality feminine traits

-Providing support for any strong man she eventually chooses to have a relationship with

-Not discouraging putting off having kids for a career, but also not discouraging them from doing what they want to do

-Understanding that gender roles don’t change, no matter how many feminazis tell them different

They will be told of the consequences of choosing career over children, and they will reap what they sow. And yes, betas, I don’t want them near you. You need to unplug, get your life together, and be a strong masculine presence for my approval. I’m not letting you off the hook at all. Betas seem to think that women should like them for who they are, regardless of their lack of any concrete purpose or character. Chances are, you will be relegated to being orbiters, and you’ll not be given any quarter.

There will probably be Chads. I have to prepare myself for this eventuality. All females have the same inherent firmware, and this is reality. But I will also provide them with a knowledge of these scenarios, and how they can take responsibility for their own actions if they decide to act on their hypergamous impulses. The “Sex and The City” mentality still exists, and I can’t help but feel sorry for all the women that were led to believe this was a fulfilling life.

I want them to compliment a man, not need one, or vice versa. I want for them what I want from a female in my dating life. I believe in specific gender roles, and straying too far from those ends in confusion, uncertainty, and more times than not, disaster.

Embrace the Unknown

I can’t tell you what will happen. I can only do my best to provide my kids good example of a strong male influence. Parenting is a crap shoot at times, but I play the numbers, and the numbers say that a strong father figure provides nothing but good things for children.

So dads, spend quality time with your kids, be in their lives. They will appreciate all that you give to them, their love makes your life better and more fulfilling, and you can truly be proud of a life worth living when the lessons you’ve preached to your kids are taken up.

It’s time to start being a good father to your kids.

Men In Purpose

Source: Australia National Parks

This Is Part 5 of my “Men In” Series

I’m up and at it this afternoon after an incredible conversation I had with my best friend of about 35 years last night.

We tend to have very thought provoking discussions as we drink craft beer and smoke cigars, while I hit on the servers and he texts his wife.

Last night, however, got my brain all fired up, as a question came up that I was able to answer, but just a few years ago I couldn’t.

The question was posed in the middle of a discussion we were having about men’s rights and it came out very abruptly.

“If you had all the money you would need, or want, and all the sudden you didn’t work anymore, what would you do? What would be your purpose?”

I’ve recently discovered several purposes for myself, so the question was easy. I want to help men unplug, I also want to broaden my horizons on the red pill. I want to get into better shape, I want to be a great father. I want to learn to be better at game, and I want to forge a new career path of my own choosing, instead of being chained to my current business for the rest of my life.

But when we got to my friend, he was quiet. He couldn’t think of anything that would fulfill his purpose. He has been working all his life to provide for his wife and kids, that if one day it was okay not to go in, they have enough money, he didn’t have an answer to what he would do with his life.

So, my readers, ask yourself the question, “What is your purpose?”

The Blue Pill Purpose

Men are corrupted by so many things in this world from birth to death. They are told what to do by many entities, and what drives them, especially in the early years, are their parents. If they’re lucky enough to have a two parent household, Dad will pass down his typical “you are your job” line and that hard work to provide is what he had done. Mom will pass down her lines of “provider” status for any man. He has to provide for his family.

If he’s in a single parent household, especially with a single mom, he’s then assigned to be the impromptu patriarch, (or worse, the mother tries to assume this role) which is a task he doesn’t need to do, nor deserve. So he’s chastened to do what he can, and more often than not this is met with disdain. And without a proper father figure, he’s left to find other figures to emulate, most of which were members of a single mother family themselves. The process continues unabated.

As they get older, females drive to press men into servitude toward their ends continues to ramp up. Men will sacrifice anything to sleep with their oneitis, and their purpose, hopes, and dreams will go to the trash heap just for a piece of ass. They then follow their love to the ends of the earth, after which she sleeps with the first Chad she meets.

So now, their career awaits. If they were like me, they chose a career that was semi-interesting, but more importantly, would be one that pays the bills. So they strive for middle management in a corporate environment, all while marrying their college sweetheart or the girl they met on Bumble, and as they have kids, the wife stays home while the man busts his ass to bring home the bacon. The wife has an insatiable appetite for a new home, or new carpet, or paint, or she wants to go back to school because her first go round she didn’t do what she REALLY wanted. And then, because he’s killing himself to pay for all of the shit she’s bought, she cheats on him because he’s “not there for her or doesn’t understand her feelings.”

So here he is, stuck in a life that was not of his own choosing. And all he does is serve the imperative. Sure, he may watch sports, porn, hang with his other blue pill buddies, catch some concerts, mow his grass, landscape his home with the inflated mortgage, get fat, lament about his lot in life, but what truly does he do for HIMSELF?

It’s depressing as hell, but unfortunately, it’s where a majority of men find themselves.

Grasping At Straws

So what do they do? Much of the time, men are tricked into thinking serving institutions will give them purpose, but these institutions only serve themselves and the feminine imperative. So blue pilled men think they’ve escaped, but instead, are right back to serving something that has no interest in their well being.

Many men will go the religious route, which is far from self serving. Religion has become corrupted and the church continues to devolve into yet another feminization tool to control men. The church, at one time long ago, had men’s best interest at heart, but now, it’s another push for men to do their duty, which is serving female’s best interest. It’s more now about how to be a good husband, how to serve your wife and family, and how NOT to rock the boat. “We certainly don’t want men thinking for themselves, now do we?”

So men will cling to different worlds, hoping to find something that will give them a sense of life, a sense of purpose. And they fail. Because they can’t see the forest from the trees. They cannot truly have their own purpose unless it serves a need from the Imperative. So they continue to be led astray.

The minute they decide to go off this path that the Imperative wants them on, they are mocked, derided, ridiculed, and shamed back into it.

Women never have men’s best interests at heart. It’s not in their nature.

It’s truly when he decides to unplug that the world becomes as he should have been seeing it.

True Sight

So now, he’s unplugged.

It’s a rush of emotions. But now, he can truly fixate on his own life, his own purpose. It’s a clearing that many men have trouble overcoming, because, as in my case, I felt as if I wasted 3 decades of my life. There is despair, depression, and regret about the past, and many men won’t realize this is the only way to gain true clarity in their life, and they miss the boat for a few years.

The one thing that the red pill has afforded me is that clarity. I can now truly focus on what I want to do. Soul searching has been plentiful, but without the noise of a blue pill existence, it’s quiet, and it allows you to focus and explore who you really want to be.

There are, as in my friend’s case especially, exceptions. He and his wife have mutual goals, in a relationship built on complimentary relations, they work together. But she understands she must support him. His success is her success, and she and his ends line up. What’s very heartening about his situation is that, he’s free to explore his purpose, and his wife supports his quest wholeheartedly. It’s rare and needs to be commended.

A woman who puts her man’s purpose as her own, is a woman that truly loves and respects her man.

Quest For Yourself

So now what?

If you’re like me, you’re working towards your purpose. You have now dedicated your life to the drive toward this piece that defines your existence on this planet.

You will have to search for your purpose. You will have to dig deep, meditate, breathe, and look deep inside yourself.

You have something to give to this world, you just have to find it.

So, begin your quest, lads. It’s the most important mission you’ll ever undertake.

Find your purpose. Begin your journey.

Men In Debt

This is Part 4 of my “Men In” Series

Today, as I type this, I stand at over $33,000 in debt.

How the hell did I get that way? Well, it’s one thing, mainly. My divorce.

One of the biggest reasons I’ve been against marriage is because of the financial disasters that befall men when they get divorced. Men are adversely affected because they tend to make more than women, and women, while wanting to be independent, want it both ways and become more dependent on the broken family law system to get them “what they deserve”, or “what they’ve become accustomed to”.

So I sit here today, trying to navigate a debt that was created simply because I was unhappy with my wife and I left her. So what the hell happened?

Folks, it’s no surprise that men have 3 times as much debt as women. Men bear the responsibility of having to be the breadwinner a lot of the time, and they take the lion’s share of the risk to their own credit. And women tend to come into the relationship with debts of their own, with an all too excited Beta ready to help her pay off her debts in exchange for sex. Now I know I’m generalizing, but the “Captain Save a Ho” mentality is alive and well when a Beta finally gets married to his oneitis.

When I first met my ex-wife, I had only a bit of credit card debt and a car payment. She came into the relationship with a fresh bankruptcy, student loan debt, and a car payment. We managed to pay off all her debt and my car, with much of the heavy lifting coming from me. Then the divorce hit.

As an owner of my own company, my ex was determined to get her share of it. Her rationale was that by being a stay at home mom watching the kids, she was entitled to a generous sum of my share of my family’s company. She had “helped me build it”. Family law is a harsh mistress when it comes to deciding who has to pay what, and while the man usually bears the brunt of this, I was lucky in that we were debt free and didn’t own any credit cards.

So, we had a large house to sell, but there existed a double-edged sword. My name was the only one on the house, so while she couldn’t claim it, I was solely responsible for the sale of it. With her past credit problems, she couldn’t get approved with me, so I bought the house myself. I had to take out a loan to upgrade the house to get it to sell because I decided I didn’t need a large house, and the monthly payments made it too tight at the end of the month. On top of that, I had to negotiate a settlement with my ex for my share of the company.

Add to that attorney’s fees and the regular weekly child support, and I was in debt over $50,000. All because I wanted a divorce.

Now, I subscribe to the idea that debt is slavery, and there are many who will disagree with my approach. But I believe that credit is a bad thing, and too many men get into trouble with money, even when they’re making a lot of it. Now there are some good things to talk about here. I haven’t had a credit card in over a decade. I haven’t had a car payment is 7 years. So there are some freedoms I can claim, however, it’s small consolation when you’re facing 5 digit debt, and six if you owe on your house.

Debt Is Slavery

Where ever you look today, debt is everywhere. Men can’t escape it and need some help. My own path may be of some help, for as I am currently in debt, I’ve managed to pay off over $17,000 in a little over a year. So how?

I write a lot about men needing to be in control of their lives, whether it be fitness, dating, raising children, or a career. Finances are just another thing men need to control because they can get out of hand very quickly, and if you’re undisciplined, just like in other aspects of your life, you’ll quickly find yourself in a very deep hole with a very small shovel.

So when you take control of your life, know that the number one thing that can help you get out of debt is your paycheck. But you have to keep track. Having a budget is a fantastic way that you can get control of your finances. When you know what you are spending, and how you are spending it, you have a better idea of where your money is going, and what you could be saving for. I look at my budget daily and have my month’s money spent already. Knowing what is coming up, as well as bigger expenditures that happen to be around, is so important for a man to maintain his control. I would also recommend Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover, where he explains the 7 baby steps of financial freedom. While I follow Dave Ramsey’s philosophy a bit, I don’t subscribe to his religious undertones as much as other guys would, but it’s still worth your time to get that book.

Back on Track

As a man, you have several ways you can build your empire. One of the main ways is to afford a career you’ll love, that will make you a ton of money. I do work a job as a company owner, but also am branching out to do what I love, helping men. Getting your income up is the fastest way to destroy debt, and doing so also gives you the financial freedom to do the things you really want to do.

So what would I recommend? Cut up your credit cards and pay them off. Save a bit for an emergency. Get your debt down quickly. Start saving for retirement and kids college. Do it within the context of your current job, and also try to make money doing what you love, on the side at first.

One of the many benefits of taking control of your finances is the fact that not only do family and friends respect a man who has his financial house together, but you become more attractive to the opposite sex as well. But beware! Now that you’re in control, you can be much more selective when it comes to a woman you want to be with. Women can complicate your life in more ways than one, and getting one who doesn’t have her financial house in order is a recipe for disaster. When you build it with your own blood and sweat, you need to be more mindful of letting just anyone come in to your castle.

Empower Your Wallet

You can affect your own income by the very life selections you make. As a powerful man, you alone dictate what you will spend your money on, and how much of it you’ll earn. You can determine how to live your life, as a slave to a debtor, or as a bank giving out the loans. It’s all about choices. And just like getting into shape, it’s hard work. It’s long hours at a job you may not like while working towards what you want, it’s making choices for the long term instead of doing what feels good at the moment, it’s passing on that blonde 7 or 8 because she owes 15k in credit card debt and can’t stop spending other people’s money. In this case, short term sacrifice leads to long term flexibility, and makes you the boss in your own financial life.

Choose no debt, and you’ll have one less hindrance between you and a successful, fulfilling, masculine life.

Men In Dating

Photo Credit: Wall Street Journal

This is Part 3 of my “Men In” Series.

After my separation and eventual divorce in 2015 and 2016, I was in a new place. It had been a decade since I had managed any experience in the dating world, and as a horrible blue pilled plug-in, I had done online dating (eHarmony) to land the languished piece of crap I had just divorced myself from. I had zero experience with women, still, and had not attempted to unplug myself. So here I was, officially single again, with only blue pill basics to help me navigate the dating world. I was fucked. And not in the good way.

So what did I do? Well, I drifted. I dated little in the following months, actually meeting and dating a dominatrix 5 with BPD, a clingy six with daddy issues, and a one night stand with a decent 6. Essentially, the bottom of the barrel in terms of what I could, and knew I should, be able to pull. I thought this is what it was all about. It was all very pathetic.

Blue Pill men these days are in a similar predicament, not because it’s the true nature of the current dating scene, but it’s the inability of these men to see anything else. Being plugged in means accepting this “reality” as what it is, as it’s all they know. And it’s exactly what women want. Tinder and similar dating apps have become a tool for female hypergamy, weeding out the betas from the alphas. It’s just another screening process for women, only now, beta men are not only tolerating it, but their unending thirst is also putting women who shouldn’t be there on a pedestal. 4’s and 5’s who shouldn’t be getting a second look now have hundreds of beta orbiters.
So why is it this way?

It didn’t use to be. Before the advent of the right swipe, men were more than their thirst. They had a purpose, drive, and ambition, three things that are extremely sexually arousing to women. But men, especially the blue pill types, became lazy. Porn streams instantly to their finger tips, and now, they can peruse women without having to do the hard stuff, approaching and actually talking to a woman. Instead of continuing to pursue a full life, men sat back and let women fill the void, corrupting the online dating world in the process, turning it into just another shit test. And on top of that, men are programmed by the Feminine Imperative to believe that 8’s and 9’s are out of their league, so alas, they settle for being the head of the fan club of a solid 5-6, orbiting forever. How fucking depressing.

So how do I now navigate this dating world as a single, Red Pill father? I don’t. I dictate my own life, and let the dating world come to me. I have to do three things. I unplug. I improve, and I approach.

When you are a high value, high quality man, you will have your choice of women. But this comes with a serious caveat. You have to get to the high quality, high value parts first. This means working on three aspects of your game. And it’s not a road map either, you can and will need to do all three things at once. It’s not a set of directions, it’s a set of inflections.

Unplug

As we in the manosphere always preach, unplugging is a primary step in getting out of this wickedly depressing cycle. When a man unplugs, he sees the dating world for what it actually is, and realizes it’s about him. It’s about what he’ll tolerate. It’s about what he’ll accept. And when he realizes he doesn’t have to accept this bullshit, he then can move on to opening his world up to new avenues. When you say “no” to the current state of the dating world, you are now wresting control of your life from the FI and all its pitfalls. Until you’re truly unplugged, you cannot fulfill the preliminary part of your contract with yourself. Being true and honest to yourself will help you to be true and honest with others, so this, quite frankly, the biggest hurdle to hit first.

Improve

As the hard truths become apparent to you while being unplugged, you will have to realize these truths in your own life, and do something about them. Here are some of the hard red pill truths to the dating world:

  1. Looks matter.
  2. Confidence matters.
  3. Hypergamy doesn’t care.
  4. Women will not approach you.
  5. Nice guys finish last.
  6. Women want to be led, they don’t want to lead.
  7. You are your top priority, not getting a girlfriend.
  8. Being yourself doesn’t work. You must be a better version of yourself.

The last one is apropos for the dating world. Nothing tips the scales in your favor like being an attractive, successful, unabashed man. So get to work. Get to the gym, eat right, sleep fully, get your ambition going. You are the catalyst for all of your success. The waiting for success doesn’t get you there. You will slowly, steadily build confidence in your life, and it will affect every aspect of it. As you build, and you must build one brick at a time, and it will take time, you will become more than you are now. And this excites the shit out of women. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.

Approach

Yes, sir! The dreaded “a” word. After all of that work to get yourself to where you are, you still, even while you are striving to bring change to yourself, have to approach. You can choose several avenues. There’s daygaming, which is approaching during the day (office, street, shops, etc.) or gaming at night, which is the Mystery Method way of doing things (among many others). But even after he got the girl, Mystery still struggled with beta tendencies in his failed long term relationships. It’s about the man behind the game, and he must be strong.

The bottom line is: you have to work with what you’re comfortable with, however, you MUST APPROACH. And, gasp, you must open yourself up to consistent REJECTION. No matter how good you look, how successful you are, how amazing you are in bed, YOU WILL GET REJECTED. Swallow your pride, and do it. This is one of the hardest truths for a beta to swallow. They base their entire existence on being accepted by women, and after their first rejection, they fall out and want to plug back in. It’s a hard truth that MUST be learned. It was a truth that I still grapple with in certain situations to this day, and approach anxiety is very real. But the only way to overcome your fear is to do it, and keep doing it until it becomes second nature. There will be good days and bad, but keep swinging, studying, and analyzing, and you’ll get a hit, and maybe a home run. Before long, you’ll be a power hitter.

Conclusion

So, where do you go from here? It’s really up to you. I want to stress that you can meet plenty of women without online dating, the old fashioned way, by opening your life up to improvement and new experiences. The old adage of love yourself before you love another really applies here. Men need to start swiping right on their own lives, and not on a solid 5 with two kids. When men start taking responsibility for themselves, and righting the wrongs they’ve made in their life, women will start to take notice. As women’s Instagram and Tinder matches start drying up, they’ll soon realize that the jig is up. Men are back, stronger than ever, and making these thots extinct. But until then, we have to keep working to unplug one man at a time. It will take time, but it will be worth it.

So start looking inward to your own world, and making it yours. You never, ever, need a woman to be happy. A woman is a compliment to a full masculine life. Your goal has and always will be your happiness, and not being a woman’s accessory. You’re better than that. So life awaits, get out there and make something happen.