This is the first of two blog entries coming today:
So many of you in the past few weeks have inquired about my approaches and where they have gone past getting a girl’s number, so this week I thought I would share some stories of dates I’ve had in the past few weeks.
Spoiler: They haven’t been very good.
The dating grind is very real, and as a business owner and single father of two kids, it’s even more real for me. My time is very valuable, and I’ve been trying to make each approach and subsequent courting count. But alas, the dating game is very different from when I was in it some 15 years ago, and I’m getting a crash course in what happens.
These stories are not meant to scare or intimidate men getting back out into the dating scene, however, these are very real and I want to show everyone what I’m doing in the dating scene from date to date, almost cataloging what works, what doesn’t and what I experience. The show must go on regardless of my time constraints, so here goes.
Not Expecting It, But Also Not Surprised
My one and only Tinder date was a HB 7 who lived about an hour outside the city. This was a disaster, but as I look back on it, it was a bit hilarious.
The date started out innocuously enough, with me setting up a quick text to her for a meeting at a coffee place. I was going to be there anyway, so I figured she would be able to come, great, if not, no big deal.
She arrived late to the date, and then sat in her car talking on her cell. After she pulled up and finally got out, another car pulled up next to her, it was a man who was just sitting in the parking lot. I thought nothing of it.
We hit it off well. After a quick 30 minutes, the guy gets out of his car, comes in, and he makes sure to sit directly behind our table. He wanted me to see him. He starts incessantly staring at me. I figured that this was her out in case the date didn’t work out, a friend or something.
Nope. It was her husband. Needless to say, I wasn’t surprised when she finally told me that he was a cuck and liked to watch her hit on and take home strange guys, but my only comment was:
“I don’t mind sleeping with married women, but this kind of stuff is too much for me. Good luck.”
“I’m Just Getting Back At Him”
Of the myriad of networking groups I belong to, as a local business owner here in the Midwest, I meet a ton of different people. Another number I got led me to a different kind of date, one that I won’t forget.
I had met a girl who ran her own wellness company and had gotten her number. After about 3 weeks of trying to nail down a date, we finally got a chance to go out to lunch.
She made it early, and as I sat down to speak with her, she ordered a shot of Tequila. Seeing as how it was noon on a weekday, I was a bit confused, but I ordered a beer and we started to talk. She had been having some stress, I could tell, but when I pressed her on it, she stated that her work was keeping her busy and she was just getting over being sick.
Now beta me in the past would have let it slide, however, the new Red Pilled me was a bit more savvy. I pressed her more about her mood, and she caved. Her boyfriend had been going out with his friends a ton, and she was fighting with him about it. So she was trying to cheat on him to get back at him. I told her she needed to have another drink, but if she didn’t mind, that I wouldn’t want to be the one she was going to have sex with.
“I’m more about passion with me, not passion about fucking over a boyfriend.”
I did end up sleeping with her, however, after she stated that she had broken up with her boyfriend.
I later found out she hadn’t.
My last date just this past Friday was with a woman who was meeting me a local restaurant bar. I got to the bar early, as I knew it very well and had attended several networking meetings there, so I thought I could get some work done while waiting.
She was having another date just before me at the same place. I had a drink with her, then called it a night.
So April was not very kind to me in terms of my work, but the learning experiences I gained will only help me in the long run. Some other April numbers (approx 20 days):
- 34 approaches
- 7 numbers
- 20 said they had boyfriends / husbands (and didn’t wear their rings…)
- Avg age of approach was 30, youngest was 23, oldest was 38
- All were between HB 6 and 8
- Majority of the numbers were procured during dinner at local restaurant bars, business networking events or kids scheduled events (sports, academic competitions, etc.)
- Finding local restaurant bars are an effective way to meet women
- 2 Tinder matches (1 date, see above, 1 flake)
- 7 date setups, 4 flakes, 3 dates
- 1 sexual encounter
So not the best month going, but I learned a lot and what to look for for next time. It’s a struggle, but I’m going to keep at it.
So with that we move into May. I will be making some adjustments on my end, especially with qualifying women ahead of time through text or chat, but I’m trying to keep texting to a minimum.
What I’ve Learned So Far
People lie. A lot. Especially online with Tinder and other dating apps. People misrepresent themselves constantly. Had I known the Tinder girl had been married and enjoyed cuckoldry, I wouldn’t have gone on the date. People are wasting other people’s time and it does get frustrating. I’ve tried to portray myself as I truly am, even going so far as to tell girls to check out my FB / LinkedIn / other social media. Staying true to oneself on social media is a fucking pipe dream, but I aim to break that cycle.
Misrepresentation of relationship status is another major problem. As Rollo Tomassi says, “She has a boyfriend / husband until she doesn’t.”
I’ve been witness to several different manifestations of this dynamic. With women tired of their boyfriends and looking for a hypergamous hookup, or just testing the waters of the dating world (one girl had had the same boyfriend for 5 years and was tired of the same old, same old), I’m finding that women are out trying to find something other that what they have, and that depresses the fuck out of me, even though I’ve been the object of their affections. More on this in my next blog entry.
But so far, it’s a tough road to hoe (pun intended) but I’m glad I have the ability to look back and analyze my progress or lack there of. I’m also glad I can keep approaching, as it’s helped me with not wasting my time on cold approaches. Looking for IOI’s has also become easier for me. But I’m much more careful on who and how I approach.
In summary: I have to keep going. I am going to the gym now 4-5 days a week, and I’ve been involving myself in more business networking events. I’m forcing myself to go out and interact with people, and it’s starting to pay off. I’m much more relaxed around hot girls, much more myself, and knowing there’s nothing to be afraid of makes my approaches all the more effective.
But I’ll continue to work and record what I’m doing. Because you can do it too.