The Three Month Itch

Photo Credit: Addictinginfo.com

My recent experiences in dating have been some of the most interesting times of my life. When you start to date around, you tend to see patterns that set up. Whether it be the type of women you date or other encompassing traits that show themselves during and after the relationships, you can gradually become more comfortable dating knowing what to expect.

I stopped online dating altogether, just because the women on there think they’re all goddesses and the men on there worship them thusly. It’s a popularity contest with no winners, but as I get more into shape, I will be conducting an experiment sooner rather than later on these sites.

So I go with what I’ve been doing, which I think is much better, that is meeting women through business meetings, networking, social circles, and the occasional approach success I’ve had, which are going to become the main tactic as I get better at game.

So the social circles I hang out in are a mix of conservative and liberal types, and but lately I’ve been noticing a pattern in what I’ve been attracting. The independent, liberal career woman. They have all lined up over the past 2 years, and what’s interesting is with every relationship, it has started with this type of woman.

Her average age is 37, she’s making 6 figures, she has a Master’s degree, and she’s at a pretty good place in her professional life. As a business owner, I’m a pretty good target for these types of women, especially if they think I’m a “beta bucks” guy. They are attractive, confident, and live alone or have 1 child at most.

They’re embroiled in a later epiphany phase, or the phase they’ve got to start provisioning for their beta bucks male so they can have kids, and are trying everything they can to avoid the wall, which has already taken it’s toll on them.

They’re trying to pump up their value, unable to compete with women 15 years younger, by focusing on their careers, and trying to offer other incentives to secure a man.

I compare the epiphany phase to a game of musical chairs. Women are trying to land the best “beta bucks” prospect they can after a live of “Sex in the City” living. They’re trying to find their Mr. Big before the music stops. They want to have kids, live a lavish life, and settle down, but still in master control of their and their man’s lives.

The “Sex in the City” Generation

Photo Credit: HBO

When Sex in the City came out in 1998 and continued into the late 2000’s, it glorified promiscuity to women. It told them that they could live life like a man, and sleep with multiple partners with no consequences, and they after they were done, they could provision the best man, have children, and live lavishly with the man of their dreams.

They were in charge of their lives, and men were secondary to a fulfilling career, and kids were an after thought until they were less sassy at 43 or older.

So they dive head first into their careers, careening down a path of sex with many men, short relationships with men who don’t “measure up” to the type of man they wish to control in their lives, and still hope to meet that “Mr. Big” someday.

But a funny thing happened along the way to this “pinnacle” of modern feminism.

They wanted a family. They wanted kids. They thought it would all work out. And then it doesn’t. So here they are, at advanced ages to have kids, pining for all the men that they thought didn’t measure up, who now have moved on with younger women. They have families, and these women have nothing but their careers.

She’s successful, independent, but alone. Because everything that lifestyle promised was a lie.

The Itch They Have to Scratch

So this brings me back to my recent relationships. They have a lot of things in common:

  • They all involved highly successful, educated, liberal women
  • The relationships all lasted approximately three months each
  • They involved a power struggle between the woman and myself
  • They tappered off the same ways, with lack of interest and disconnecting

I even got a chance to have exit interviews with three out of the 4 women, asking specific questions that they answered very honestly.

Their answers will surprise you:

  • They were sexually very satisfied 🙂 with me. Both claimed it was some of the best sex they’ve had.
  • They did not like my political leanings (conservative) and this was one of the reasons that one of the women stopped showing interest in me.
  • They pick the three month time period to give them an opportunity to see if I’m marriage or LTR material (beta bucks provisioning with submissive tendencies).
  • One said I was too alpha. She didn’t want me dictating the relationship, as she was in control of her life and child and wanted to fit a beta submissive into her life, which she promptly did.
  • They would rather have control, be with a person who trumpets their own values over his, and continue to hold out for their “one”.
  • Liberal women, especially professionals, still believe the Sex in the City myth.
  • These women still think they can compete and win with women younger than them, even though two of them lost boyfriends to those same women.

So one woman was very up front about the fact that she wanted to control the relationship. She wanted a “yes” man to support her, and at 41, still believed her child rearing years were 2-3 years away. She just had to find the “perfect” guy for her. Her Mr. Big.

The other, a woman I had dated just after my divorce, said I was too submissive. This was before my unplugging. She stated that I would never make plans, and she was the one that always had to come up with things to do.

But as I was unplugging, I’ve noticed that women don’t necessarily want the alpha (which two of the other girls made comments about), but they want the beta bucks badly, but only as a support to their own pseudo-alpha feminine agenda.

It’s an interesting dynamic that I’ve been very curious about, as I’ve had 4 relationships, all at 3 months, that mimicked each other, more so the last three than the first when I was not quite unplugged yet.

One of the women was even a self proclaimed feminist. And when asked if she’d ever consider settling down with a conservative man, she stated “not in her lifetime.”

The Music Will Stop

So now, we come to the conclusion of my unintended experiment. Where are they now?

Well, two of them are still single, entering their 40’s still pining for the perfect man who will save them.

The other two now have beta bucks boyfriends, guys who jump when they say jump, and are content in their chosen musical chair.

The music stopped for them, and they chose the best they could get.

The funny thing about all of this is I hold no ill will towards any of these women. I’m a bit disappointed that power, personalities, and politics play such an integral part of dating these days, and the bile and hatred for conservative men (who are the best lovers) is real.

These women would rather die alone than be subjected to anyone outside of their echo chamber. But this is a topic for another time.

In closing, it’s time for women to start understanding that if they truly want to live a fulfilling life, then Sex in the City is not the life to lead.

These women are having buyer’s remorse about the life they were sold, and as they continue, many childless, they lose more ground everyday to men who won’t subscribe to their politics or power structure, or men who are more interested in younger, more fertile women.

They continue to hope that someday, their “Mr. Big” will come into their lives, and tell them that all of this was worth it.

What they don’t understand, until it’s too late, is it’s not worth it.

The music has stopped, and they’re without a seat.

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