Realizations

As I’ve documented on many occasions in my blog, countless Twitter feeds, and in my videos, I used to be absolutely terrible with women.

I lost my virginity at 27, I had three girlfriends in high school and college who I never kissed, and the only sexual experience I had before 27 was a bad blowjob in college.

I was so petrified of women (and people in general), I locked myself in my dorm room freshman year of college, only smoking pot with my closest friends and not even going to eat in the cafeteria.

I would clam up, become stiff, make dumb statements (oh look a pooper scooper!!), or just said some general statement that wouldn’t do anything except cause her to look at me in disbelief (or disgust at times).

As I’ve documented, I was the quintessential beta with many of the hangups men today still have. Socially I was retarded. I was awkward with all types of people, and I would not talk to women if I could avoid it.

I developed oneitis for several girls as I grew up and I tried to get them to like me by being the “nice guy”. I failed. Miserably.

Lack of approach, no confidence, social anxiety, as well as fears of about every aspect of personal communication kept me single and a virgin for a time when I should have been laying everything with a pulse.

But, alone I sat, for years, until 2003, when finally, mercifully, I started to get out more, get some hobbies, work out, and then I met my future wife on eHarmony. That was the wall I crashed into.

She loved that I was a virgin. She wanted to “teach” me how to please her. I was a weak, ball-less fuck. I did what I was supposed to do. Name, rank, serial number for 10 years. And it resulted in sex three times in three years at the end of the marriage.

After divorce, I got better with women, only because during my depression, brokeness, and utter discontent with my life, women seemed to come out of the woodwork, as they always do. So by natural progression, I got better with women because they were around more. But I still had a ways to go and had to learn more.

Over the next two years, I got into several relationships where I let the woman lead, all of them ending in a breakup. Liberal women who were desperate to control their relationships are who I fell in with. As you can guess, it didn’t go well. Sex was robotic, I didn’t take control, I kept asking permission, asking “does this feel good?”

It was an unmitigated disaster 4 times over.

Then, I found the red pill. I decided to go to the “monk” mode or MGTOW (men going their own way) phase. I studied, read, and worked on myself at the gym. I lost 70 lbs. I fought to discover who the hell I was.

This intensive period that I needed, in turn, gave me success in my life in other ways.

It really isn’t a secret, either. There’s no magic bullet, no expensive course or book, so I’ll share it with you today, free of charge.

The Breakthrough

So, how the hell did I get over my fears of dealing with women?

Here it is, the definitive guide to everything female from a man who has lived it.

These are the things I’ve learned after what I was told was complete and utter bullshit.

These are the myths that were concocted to throw men off of what women really want, how they really think, and why it’s important.

I know the secrets now. Hint: They aren’t really secrets, they’re well known, common knowledge that don’t need financing to know.

Sure, you’ll get the women who are NAWALTS (Not all women are like that) professing their mistrust in the information I present here today, but the bottom line is this:

A vast majority of women (meaning all) have the same reproductive organs, mindset, and emotional software installed by whoever you want, God, evolution, the boogeyman, or Santa Claus, it’s all still the same because in the end, NOTHING trumps biology.

Yes, it’s the same for men. We scream that it’s not about sex, but guess what, it IS about sex. It’s always about sex. ALWAYS.

Here’s some quick and dirty tips from yours truly. Many will say they aren’t true, especially women, but I know one thing with my experience. I know women. And what you’ve been told is not correct.

Here’s the list of all the cliche manosphere stuff that I learned. Why post it? Because every last part of it is true.

Here you go:

  • Get thee to the gym

The first thing I recommend guys do is get into shape. It cures so many ills in regards to life in general, and women specifically, that it is the first thing I recommend. Get to work, get your diet right, and start looking the part. It’s the crucial first step in a man retaking control of his life.

  • Boundaries

You have to establish a line that no one can cross when it comes to your personal convictions and beliefs. If you are conservative, don’t date liberals, if you are religious, don’t date an atheist. If you don’t like sushi, don’t take your date to a sushi restaurant. Hold fast on the stuff that’s important to you, and don’t compromise for any reason.

  • You have to have confidence

Building confidence in yourself is the KEY to all of this. You have to be successful in your life in some way to gain confidence. So, I’d recommend getting to the gym, getting involved in some sport, activity, or hobby and get good at it. When you develop your skills and gain confidence when you are successful, you have a blueprint from which to build more.

  • You have to do MGTOW or monk mode for a while

And with that, you have to take the time to develop these skills. You need to make time for yourself. You need to put you first, pull no punches with your time, and get better everyday. 6 months is a good period, but depending on how much you have to do, you will need all the time in the world.

And yes, you still have to show up and do the work.

  • You’ll never be done

The work will be a lifelong commitment. You have to put real work into yourself every day. You have to be mindful to making yourself better. You aren’t just done and then you talk to women. You progress doing both. And you learn from it.

  • Rejection is required

Everyone hates rejection, but men especially do because, especially with a woman, it’s a personal dismissal for something you are presenting. Of course it’s going to burn, because it IS personal. My first rejection was a woman saying she wouldn’t date a fat guy. That hurt, but I took that rejection and put it towards bettering myself. You are going to get rejected. Tear the bandage off and get it over with, then do it again.

  • She doesn’t care

Regardless of what your hangups, complaints, life issues, or insecurities are, she doesn’t care. She has no motivation to bring you into her life if you are a rebuild or a project. She’s looking for a man who’s sure of himself, put together well, and won’t apologize for living his life his way.

  • Your self interest is most important

You have to put yourself first. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and if you have yourself put together, you only add value to those around you. A solid foundation is what you are, and the bigger and more sturdy the foundation, the better and bigger the building.

  • You HAVE TO APPROACH her

You can’t get around rejection and you certainly can’t get around having to pursue and approach a woman. If you find her attractive, you must tell her that and make your intentions known. And you must be prepared for any answer she gives. “Yes?” Play ball. “No?” Walk and go to another girl.

  • Boldness goes a long way.

Yes, it’s the #MeToo era, but being bold, especially with women who are in a social setting is a lost art. You must state your intentions clearly and boldly, damn the consequences. You don’t get anywhere without taking a risk, and the higher the risk, the greater the reward. But you have to put your ass on the line for her, she’ll respect you a ton more if you are honest and open in your interactions with her. YOU SET THE TONE.

  • Understand women

Women will say I don’t understand them, but I do, better than they understand themselves. Remember, women are chaos. Women are emotional creatures who don’t respond to logic as much as they respond to feelings, settings, and imagination. You have to use her imagination in conjunction with your skill. Understand what gets her going. What gets her going is a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to be bold to take it. She LOVES a man who takes control.

Remember, men lead with action. Women follow with support, love, and spirit.

  • Body language is key

Not only do you have to make sure your body language is on point (chest out, speak clearly and forcefully, smile, eye contact), but you must also watch hers. She will show you if she’s into you by coming close to you, smiling back, mirroring your actions, and really reactive to your moves. More experience with women will yield this understanding on when she likes something and when she doesn’t.

  • Avoid Online Dating

Many men will instantly go for the online route because it’s easy and doesn’t require a lot of heavy lifting. But, remember this fact, online dating, for the majority of people, is a raging dumpster fire. Damaged, hurt people on there looking to get their kicks without even working on themselves. It’s the trash bin of dating and shouldn’t be used.

  • You are the prize

We’ve seen hundreds of guys in the sphere talk about it, but it really is true. When it all boils down to it, you can’t move forward in your life until you realize that your presence sets the tone. You are the focal point of your life with special emphasis on choosing the correct person to share it with. You have an obligation to choose what you feel is best for your life. Selfish? Sure. Required? Absolutely.

  • You have to have some semblance of style

You have to put forth effort in your wardrobe. Like every other part of your life, you have to dress for success and wearing old, crappy clothes as a part of your wardrobe doesn’t help you get anywhere but where you are.

  • Looks matter

They do. You have to look your best. You have to brush your damn teeth, shower, manscape, and take care of yourself. Women will appreciate it and you’ll appreciate yourself more. The most important aspect of confidence is putting up the goods when it comes time to.

  • Social skills (game) trump all other things

You have to learn solid, lifelong social skills with men to make friends and with women to have sex/relationships. This not only ups your networking, and career success, but you become more comfortable with people and can do more things in your life. Your height, money, or disposition don’t mean anything if you can’t get out there and operate among others.

  • Thirst is not your friend

Men allow their sexual appetites to get the best of them. The little man drives the big man and it can result in disastrous, life altering issues that will affect the man for the rest of his life. When a man learns to not only control his urges, dropping porn, upping his game, using condoms regularly, he protects himself from these possibilities. He also has an amazing amount of self respect to protect himself from these issues. The world’s not going to change, so the man must operate as if he’s in complete control of everything he can control, including his thirst.

Look, men want to have sex with women. It’s in our blood. But you can protect yourself and choose where you stick your dingus. Be smart about who you sleep with, we don’t need anymore single moms.

The Secret of Women

So what are the secrets of women?

What have I learned that I didn’t know before?

Well:

  • Learn to operate on a sexual level

Men and women are sexual beings, bottom line. If you don’t ask for the business and show your intentions to her, it doesn’t matter. I always thought it was wrong to tell a woman you wanted to have sex with her.

When you ACT like a man in front of a woman, she absolutely wants that. She wants you to take her, she wants you to be forward and confident.

Women don’t like begging, sniveling, men who have to ask permission for everything. They want you to lead.

  • Women are emotional

Emotions are a woman’s realm. When you appeal to her with a vivid imagination and unreal confidence, she absolutely loves it. She needs to feel, whereas men need to use logic and solve problems. When you treat her like a man (i.e. try to solve her problems), she’ll resent you. She doesn’t want you to solve her problems, she wants you to reflect her and feel her emotions with her. Being present, more than anything else, helps her to work through any emotions that she has. And when she sees you’re a rock to her, she can trust that you will listen to her while working to understand her.

  • Women are pragmatic, men are romantic

Women, when it comes down to it, are pragmatic. If they see that things aren’t going to end well, they will jump ship to make their way to another option. If you die, they’ll move on. If you sink, they’ll swim elsewhere. They see the writing on the wall in their commitment, they will make sure to find the door. ‘Til death do us part only applies if the man is showing promise, and yes, even if he’s at rock bottom, she can tell if he’s a high quality dude.

  • Women want security and to know they’ll be protected

Men do just these things. If you fall asleep at the wheel, do be surprised if she finds another man’s car or jumps out of yours. You HAVE to provide the rock she ties herself to. You run the show, she knows that you do. If you falter in any aspect of your masculine duties, she’ll know, and her respect for you will dwindle. She’s hooked her anchor to you so you’d better be ready to perform for her and make sure she and your tribe stay safe.

  • She wants your pleasure

Men think they have to pull out all the stops to pleasure her in bed. You don’t. She gets off on your pleasure. She wants to see you orgasm and wants to please you. That’s the biggest thing standing between guys and their happiness in sex. You need to get yours and she’ll get hers too. You can’t neglect yourself in the quest to make her happy because she start to resent you.

  • Be proactive instead of reactive

Women want a man with a plan, regardless of what happens. When the shit hits, she wants to know that the issues are handled. If they aren’t and she has to be involved, it takes away from your lead. You can’t be desperate, consistently show emotions that are detrimental to her respect for you, and argue with her. She doesn’t want to argue with you to win the fight, she wants to argue with you to show her you care.

I’ve learned a ton about these subjects, but I still have more to digest. But today, nearly 21 years after my entrance into the world of dating and women, I finally have some direction and some competency with women.

The one thing that has permeated all of this new found confidence is the fact that not only do I take responsibility for my life, but I push my life in new directions because of how I interact with women. My give a damn is broken when it comes to women and if they are truly going to be in my life, they have to make the effort. Before, I thought I had to do everything to make sure that they’d like me. Being a people pleaser brings you dry panties every day.

I hope to continue to help men realize what I have in my life. They need to take control and drive their lives. It’s helpful to have these quick tips to get a man in the direction he needs to head.

One thing I’ve always said is that if I hadn’t taken action in my life, I’d imagine I’d still be in a loveless marriage, celebrating 15 years of little sex, motionless and lifeless stability, and lack of a direction. I didn’t want a life like that, I wanted a life on my terms, and many men are starting to awaken to the fact that they want that same thing too.

But in search of that, you have to be willing to be uncompromising on certain principles in your life. You have to be willing to walk.

But you must also be willing to stand a post. You are never done. You sleep when you’re dead, and many men don’t want to accept that harsh truth.

It’s time to understand these realizations and spread the word to other men lost in the world. They need to know these things, and my job is to make sure they do until my last breath.

I owe it to them and myself.

Grudges

Photo caption: Neurocorecenters.com

Think to yourself.

Do you have a friend, family member, someone who was once close to you, someone who you even loved, that isn’t a part of your life anymore because of some issue? I’d venture to guess that we all do. I do. My family does.

Grudges are held fast these days. Whether a cheating spouse, an abusive parent or relative, or a disagreement over a political issue, people are cutting other people off from their lives. Some reasons are good, some aren’t.

Listen, cutting toxic folks out of your life is a primary motivation for a healthier life. Of course it is. But cutting someone from your life, especially a close relative, is a difficult decision that needs to be thought about.

The biggest issues I see are people just wholesale cutting people out of their lives with no explanation. Some folks don’t need one, understood, but close family members, really close family, needs to be explored more.

I have several family members, many very close, that I don’t talk to any more because of real, calculated, and communicated anger towards real issues that I was having with them. Whether it be verbal abuse, physical abuse, or trauma directly from a trusted loved one, sometimes, you can’t ever rebuild those bonds that have been broken. But one family member that I love very much has taught me something new about the concept of forgiveness.

The Two Paths

My grandmother, on my mother’s side, who passed away nearly 20 years ago, was a pretty rotten person. She worked as a waitress, slept around, and was either involved or allowed abuse of her two kids (my uncle and mom) as well as untold abuse of their cousins. Sexual, physical, emotional and verbal abuses were common place in my mom’s childhood home. My grandmother basically abandoned them for her job and her men, of which there were many, and my mother had to basically stay at home and raise her older brother.

Spending nights alone with the door lock busted, not knowing who was going to come in, sexually abused by trusted family members, booze, drugs, fights, yelling. All of this went on during the entirety of her childhood. Never able to fully relax, not knowing what was coming through that front door, my mother pressed on and raised her brother as best she could, until her teenage years, and at 16 she started working to get the hell out of this nightmare.

And she did. She became a stronger woman because of what she went through, but lost her innocence and her childhood because of the severity of the abuse she and my uncle suffered.

It affected both of them for their lives. Never again could they live a normal life, but it was the responses that really told the story of how both of these kids took a very real, serious, traumatic situation, and one turned it into a lifelong grudge that he still carries, and the other (my mother) decided to let it go and through all the pain, still showed love to a woman who, at times, didn’t care if my mother lived or died.

The two paths, and there are only two, are the paths that people take in response to traumatic (and maybe not so traumatic) of holding a grudge, whether deserved or not, and letting it go, forgiving and pushing forward to unload the heavy weight they are carrying.

The first path, which many people take, is the path to the grudge. They cannot and will not forgive any person for what they believe, what they do, or what travesties they committed.

And who can blame them? Some of the worst things that happened to my mom happened millions of times to millions of other people. I can’t blame them at all for feeling this way. These grudges can’t be attacked because they all have legitimate reasons for not wanting to be around a person, especially if traumatic abuse occurred.

But, as we are seeing more and more, the grudges that people are holding today are a bit less severe. Politics, sports, a disagreement on food can totally destroy a friendship, and people are letting it happen without a second thought.

My family has some that are liberals, some that are conservatives, but the minute we start to discuss these issues, the rift shows up very quickly. People can’t respectfully disagree anymore, and it shows up in grudges. Even people who seem to support a political party or anything about them tend to automatically assume every bad thing about the person without meeting them. The bubble thickens…

Betrayal, disagreements, and hurt feelings permeate our society and we cut people off for the dumbest things. But the worst part, when we cut people off, we either make no explanation nor do we let that person go completely, instead, we hold feelings of anger, hatred, and disappointment like a bag of old cheese, secretly hoping it’s still good, but knowing damn well the smell tells us it’s not.

But “out of sight” doesn’t mean “out of mind”. It chaffs at us. It eats away. I know because it’s happened to many people that I love who decided, for one reason or another, to show the person they don’t like that they REALLY don’t like them, removing them from their lives forever, only to regret not saying what they really thought and overcoming the barriers that led to the grudge in the first place.

Letting Go

My mother, after all the years of terrible treatment, decided one day, to let go of her hate for her mother. And it took every fiber of her being. Not because of any other reason except she knew that holding onto the hate was bad to her mental health. She realized that her grudge didn’t help anything except amplify her hate.

This is the bottom line of what a grudge is all about. Do you feel like you can carry this weight until the end? Some say most certainly. Some don’t. But more often than not, the ones carrying the weight don’t see the opportunity cost of not carrying it, what they are missing by letting the hate go, or what the person whom their vitriol is pointed at would do if they reached out to mend the fences.

I can say with 100% certainty that my mother is a better person today for reaching out to her mother and mending fences. Her time with her mother, while awkward at times, was better than rendering her dead in her psyche.

She states it proudly. She didn’t have to bring her mother back into her life. She could’ve left her for dead. But she didn’t, and her mother was grateful for that. A relationship was salvaged by someone being the bigger person.

But it doesn’t always work out that way, nor should it. Some trauma is too deep, too evil, too painful to push through. But you may be surprised to see people who are affected by such trauma, despite all the reasons they shouldn’t, reach out to those who so terribly affected them.

Petty grudges, by definition, need to be nipped in the bud. But more often than not, petty grudges are signs of a deeper divide between two people, with the grudge being a suitable placeholder for skimming over these deeper issues. Either way, it’s not communicated and the cut off just happens, without explanation.

This post isn’t going to light the world on fire with tips on what you need to do to let go of a grudge. They are there for a reason, and only the people who hold them know why. But communication, letting go, and up front honesty will do more for that weight around your neck than you realize.

“Clutch it like a cornerstone, otherwise, it all comes down” is the main lyric from my favorite song by Tool, “The Grudge”. It becomes all you know of a person, and if you don’t have it, what do you have?

Sometimes the grudge will go away, and sometimes it won’t. But, as in life, it’s always better to face the pain of your past head on and address it than hold onto a hateful spirit that continues to haunt your soul, and that manifests itself into regret, something we all want to avoid.

Wear the grudge like a crown of negativity
Calculate what we will or will not tolerate
Desperate to control all and everything
Unable to forgive your scarlet lettermen

Clutch it like a cornerstone, otherwise, it all comes down
Justify denials and grip ’em to the lonesome end
Clutch it like a cornerstone, otherwise, it all comes down
Terrified of being wrong, ultimatum prison cell

Saturn ascends
Choose one or ten
Hang on or be humbled again

Clutch it like a cornerstone, otherwise, it all comes down
Justify denials and grip ’em to the lonesome end
Saturn ascends, comes round again
Saturn ascends, the one, the ten
Ignorant to the damage done

Wear the grudge like a crown of negativity
Calculate what we will or will not tolerate
Desperate to control all and everything
Unable to forgive these scarlet lettermen

Wear the grudge like a crown
Desperate to control
Unable to forgive and sinking deeper

Defining
Confining
And sinking deeper
Controlling
Defining
And we’re sinking deeper

Saturn comes back around to show you everything
Let’s you choose what you will not see and then
Drags you down like a stone or lifts you up again
Spits you out like a child, light and innocent

Saturn comes back around.
Lifts you up like a child or
Drags you down like a stone
To consume you till you choose to let this go
Choose to let this go

Give away the stone
Let the oceans take and trans mutate this cold and fated anchor
Give away the stone
Let the waters kiss and trans mutate these leaden grudges into gold

Let go

Trads or Chads

Photo Credit: BBC

The “manosphere”, a phrase that many times is just a catch all for men who are working against the feminist movement, working for men to re-take their lives, and working to educate men on their roles in this world, has recently had a split. But it’s not the split of egos or personal differences I’m talking about. It’s the perceived split between traditional men (Trads) and men who are still teaching basic PUA and interactions with females, touting “at times” the “enjoy the decline” mantra.

I will honestly say that these men and the camps they’ve formed, are NO different from each other. They all believe the same things, they all are unplugged and “red pilled” as well as under the same forward thinking that modern men need to be under.

The sphere, for years, has split against itself with one side claiming red pill purity and the other side claiming life after the red pill and men bettering themselves. Both are correct. Both are needed. Red pill is a truth moment, with it’s many branches, but it isn’t a blue print on how to live, it simply is a list of truths that a man must accept in order to move on with his life, especially with concern to women. Both are supposed to work in concert, with red pill guys dropping truth bombs, then PUA / life guys taking over to keep those truths in the man’s life, and crafting a life that these truths become a cornerstone of. But the truths are REQUIRED or a man to accept to move forward. He can’t halfheartedly accept them without knowing full well that they will change his life for the better if he adheres to them completely. He has to.

If he doesn’t, none of the other crap matters, because he’s still living in an illusion. If he does accept, the “trad” men take over and push a man to live for himself first, and a woman is a compliment to his life, not a reason.

Physical and mental fitness, style, diet, and other aspects are then put to this man, with him taking responsibility for creating a life that is truly his.

Gurus, dudes looking to make a buck, regular guys, etc, all vying to help this man with his life. None of this is wrong.

Once again, for the people in the back, there are no differences in these men’s thinking. Guys need the help, especially guys who have taken and accepted the pill. They are vulnerable out of the womb again, so men on the sphere are taking these guys and helping them.

The differences, as I will spell out here, put me in neither of the camps, and in the big scheme of things, are a hair that doesn’t need splitting, but will no doubt be split for years to come, as it has for years before.

Chads

The hard core red pill guys are out there everyday and they have a point.

They run with mantras such as “She’s not yours, it’s just your turn” as well as the other oft repeated phrases that have made this sphere the sphere that it is. Remember, it all begins and ends with the red pill, which is why guys like Rollo, Dalrock, Pook, Roosh, and Roissey will always have a voice long after they are gone. The reason these guys and their content will always be around is because it’s truth. It connects men throughout the world with the truth that’s been withheld from them forever. These buzz words and phrases, while trite and over used, form the basis of the truths men should be taught at a young age, but rarely are. Feminism is a huge problem that is only getting worse as we get into the more “woke” decade.

PUA’s are working on this side as well, and while notch count is king in many of their worlds, it stands to reason that getting better with women is one of the best and most useful applications of the red pill. You can’t be a better man without learning to be better with women. And men by the truckload want to be better with women. Men are sexual, so they’re buying what the manosphere and the red pill are selling. And it’s an easy sell because guys want to sleep with hot women.

The “enjoy the decline” guys have a point, albeit one that isn’t easily applied to an unplugged man’s life. The philosophy of ETD is a philosophy based on red pill truths but doesn’t give a man anything other than notches and a bit of an empty life to look back at. I think that many men require a purpose, with the purpose of bedding all manner of girls being fine for a period in a man’s life, but not the end all be all. This is why the red pill is a praxeology at first, and not the whole ball of wax that men need. Truly, living the red pill life has many advantages, but it doesn’t give men enough to truly move forward. It only shows men a general list of concepts to deal with women and move forward socially.

Which is why I don’t fall into this category. I do believe that men need to have experience with women and need to meet as many and experience as much from all women have to offer before deciding on an LTR. But I also believe that they need to have that LTR. Many of the red pill purists are in LTR’s or marriages. They’ve pursued red pill ideals to conclusions that go against some of the red pill purity crowd in never getting bogged down in marriage or LTR’s and notch count as king. I also believe that marriage is still a viable option, as most MGTOW or other red pill groups will tell men to avoid at all costs. Also, the RP decries women having any input at all on their side of it. “Don’t talk about Fight club” is all too prevalent. But I think women’s input, showing the results of what the red pill brings to men, can add to the sphere, just as long as they don’t dictate behaviors, but instead show how the behaviors learned can affect a positive relationship with the opposite sex.

The single mom dilemma isn’t a dilemma to Chads, as they avoid them at all costs. But I disagree with their thinking that ALL single moms are terrible wastes looking for men as a meal ticket or substitute father. There are many good ones out there I have dated not looking at victim hood as a cash cow, but putting their heads down and making no excuses for their lives. This is where I split with the Chad crowd. And while I’m in no danger of wifeing up a single mom for sex, it does happen and men need to avoid women who are damaged just looking for money to help them rectify mistakes they’ve made on another man’s bill. It’s about living life on your terms with all the education to back that up.

I still and always will be a red pill adherent. But I do believe that there is more to a man’s life than that, but it is the key that unlocks a vast majority of it.

The value lies in the fact that these truths will always be there for men willing to learn and accept them. And for that, they will be eternally important and a required part of the sphere. But there’s more.

Trads

Trads, or the beard wearing, lumberjack looking, weight lifting tough guys that have propagated the manosphere (I’m probably one cause I have a beard), have really taken off in the past year. We are seeing men living the manly virtues, all while trying to push red pill truths. We’ve seen the religious right show up in this group, with Christianity and some Islam being thrown into the manosphere for good measure. And why shouldn’t they? These religions are based on men leading and having a strong masculine presence. Islam, especially, hasn’t really been infiltrated by feminism as Christianity has. But the religious right will continue to lay claim to parts of the manosphere and what parts haven’t been feminized will continue to play a part at the table of traditional masculinity.

But many of the religious messages are not compatible with red pill truths, especially since we’ve seen a massive invasion of feminism in the church.

While the Chads set the truth, the Trads take it to conclusions. These are the life action guys such as the workout gurus, the dudes who demonstrate in life what actionable masculinity entails. They give the guidelines based on the red pill and how men need to live their lives in a red pill manner. If the red pill is the road map, the trad world is the transportation to get there.

Empowering men after they become unplugged has always been a dicey business because the temptation of the romantic, blue pill stories that get in men’s heads. The truth still needs someone to carry it to realization, men who have lived the pill and everything it stands for.

While I don’t relate to Chads on certain levels, I don’t relate to Trads on others.

True, I am a single father. True, I do believe that a long term relationship and marriage are still in the cards for many men. But every time traditional masculinity tries to up end or re-brand the red pill, they fail miserably. It shouldn’t be rebranded, and it can’t be re-invented. It’s a part of the sphere, regardless of if we think it should be or not. It’s a baseline realization that many men have to come to and it can’t be gotten around.

Marriage, as good as it can be, is not for every man. There are many men out there who are risk averse and also don’t have the inclination for any kinds of long term relationship, and that is okay.

Trads will also call on women to help shape and work on communicating the red pill, but they can’t effectively negotiate that side of it. This is where men on this side need to use their own success stories with their wives as motivation for men to show them what marriage, on their own terms, can truly be.

They also believe that many single moms are fine to date, as the Chads will tell you avoid them. Many single moms are damaged and looking for a meal ticket. They want a child to have a father figure because their worthless ex is not holding up his side of it. But there are quite a few single mothers I have dated that don’t ask for that. They have a father that cares and they aren’t in need of a man to father up the kids.

I also believe that sex, as a vital part of a man’s life, regardless of his morals, is still too important in any relationship to be disregarded. Red pill purists also believe this, and they are correct. Sex is much too important to try and gloss over.

The Two Sided Coin

So here we go, the two sided coin. A quarter is heads or tails, but it’s still worth 25 cents regardless of which side it lands on. That’s what this issue in in a nutshell. While we all may flex our perspective at times, all of it is good if in the end it’s establishing a man’s own choice as the correct one. Regardless of how he gets there, as long as he accepts the truth and chooses his life of his own accord, it’s a crap shoot on how to accomplish it.

There are no absolutes except the truth. And the truth will set you free. Other than that, the manosphere is one gigantic gray area. What work all of these men are doing, regardless of who says what, and who fronts how, is trying to keep men from making real mistakes that will cost them far more in the end. Money, time, even their lives. No man on this sphere wants to see a man take his own life. And that’s what we are all working towards. To make men satisfied and strong in their own lives. And making their own choices to that end, and holding them accountable.

It may not be pretty, but we are all living examples of men who’ve weathered hard times to come out ahead. And we’ve all done it on the red pill.

So regardless of which side you’re on, I’m telling you that the men I see and talk to on this side are preaching the truth, regardless of flex. They are trying to get men away from the feminist dream and trying to put them on solid ground that they alone negotiate. Men have to live life by their own rules, and it’s time for the sides to come together to make that happen.

It won’t, but I can always be hopeful.

For now, I choose not to be on either side. They both have their advantages, but both need to bridge the gap to really get to helping men the best way, by combining their forces. I will continue to be a demon for both sides because I don’t fully subscribe to either ideology. Because we need real world solutions besides broad platitudes to really help men in every situation. But, alas, we will be here for a while yet.

But, here’s the thing. Reasonable takes are needed in all aspects of a man’s life, and a platitude that pushes too far on either side shouldn’t be accepted.

But we still have the gaps, and we still have the disagreements, and we’ll still have it for years to come.

So I continue to work laboring under the common sense approach to all of this, what’s right is right, what’s wrong is wrong, but as long as you own it and do it on your own terms, you are living life right.

Choices

Photo Credit – Bukharian Jewish Link

One thing that I can truly say I’ve learned from being in Masculine Sphere for this time is that I have much to offer and I am the prize. It’s a tough lesson that many men never learn. I can truly say that my upbringing was one of what I could provide for women and not the other way around.

My mother had a horrible childhood. Terrible abuse suffered at the hands of trusted family members, my grandmother leaving my mother and my uncle at a very young age while she worked and slept around. This horrible childhood forced my mother to over-compensate with me in her child rearing. She wanted to make sure that I was good to women, to a fault, sacrificing myself for the good of the woman. Many women, especially the aging Baby Boomers experienced similar issues when they were being raised in the 60’s with the Sexual Revolution. Women were empowered, didn’t have to stay at home with the kids anymore, and allowed all manner of terrible fates to befall their kids.

But when the rules change, it still falls to that person to make the decision that affects their lives. So my mom decided to err on the side of caution and make damn sure I never grew up treating women as bad as she was treated.

But good intentions don’t always mean good results. My somewhat sheltered life as a child swung all the way back to hit me in the face as I grew up. Totally petrified of women, to the point of being intimidated to silence around them, I was the product of the helicopter parenting on steroids. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t be saved, nor did it mean I was doomed to an existence of constantly being beholden to women.

So when the red pill got my attention 2 years ago in my monk mode world, I was taken aback. “Men can truly control the narrative, they are indeed to prize.” Holy hell. This turns every damn thing on it’s head. Why was I told all my life that we are beholden to the woman? Why did I live my life that way? Could I have saved my marriage with this attitude?

The last question was answered by my ex-wife. I sat down with her to have a talk about what was lacking in our marriage and I saw right away.

I wasn’t leading. I wasn’t dictating the relationship. I wasn’t the steady, strong anchor that she needed. I let her dictate the relationship and it became chaos. She didn’t want it. I didn’t either. So we pretended.

Very seldom do we hear the real story behind our behaviors.

The Sexual Script Flipped

So imagine my surprise when I learned that not only should I get mine but I should be unapologetic about it.

Holy shit?!?!?

I was so hardwired to seek her approval, gain her acceptance, get her to cum, that I didn’t stop to think that her passionate embrace was all about me getting mine. But here we are, and yes gents, it truly is the case.

Men don’t want to hear this because they’ve been hardwired to believe that it’s all about her. And yet men who believe this and make it the case are miserable in their marriages. So are the women.

Damn. How did we get here?

I was always told that men needed to make sure women came before they did. And that’s just what I tried to do, until the sex dried up. But I did what they said to do! I focused on her pleasure. It failed miserably.

I chose that path because it’s what I was told would work. And it didn’t. So why the hell was I told that? Because no one lives the way you do. They tell you to make choices because of what THEY want, not what you want. They’ll yell to the hills to take this path because it’s not only the RIGHT way, but the way they chose. Do what they did. Because their choices made them HAPPY, right? Wrong. They aren’t happy. They’re lost. They’re projecting their insecurities on you. They want you to experience their right way that they are convinced is the correct path. But it isn’t. It never was. It’s just advice propagating itself.

But sex is where it all starts for men. Men are such sexual creatures, we crave it, we manifest it in our daily lives, and it is a cornerstone of who we are not only as animals, but as humans. It stands to reason that we need to address it first because it’s the lifeblood of everything a man stands for. And it’s this lifeblood that he’s made to feel ashamed.

“All men want is sex.” Well, yes. As the sex goes, so goes the man.

Men have to be unapologetic about their sexual choices. They are designed to get their nut and get it often so why apologize for it? Why not find someone interested in you getting your nut as well? You not being afraid to voice your preferences is another choice. Doing anything without fear of retribution or regret is breaking away from all supposed consequences for your choice.

Your job is to own it, regardless of what it is.

Don’t let fear stop you from making a choice.

Fear as the Divine Motivator

The fear of making the wrong choice drives men to “play it safe” as well as the overblown #MeToo movement that has turned all men into potential rapists. Men don’t want to exert themselves in fear. And they let this fear dominate every aspect of their lives.

Fear.

Fear of being inadequate.

Fear of hurting her feelings.

Fear of being too bold.

Fear of losing her.

Fear of being alone.

Fear of dying alone.

See what abundance mentality does to this fear. It lessens and eradicates it.

It makes choosing you more feasible.

It makes it easier to choose your interests.

But men don’t think they have these choices to make. Many men allow women in their lives to make those choices for them. They’re on autopilot because risk is uncomfortable. And it’s killing them slowly.

Men have been told our passion is bad. That it’s toxic. It’s not. Holding back that passion on purpose is toxic. It’s poisoning us and our culture, all the while, cultures that embrace this passion and masculinity are thriving and growing. What does all this tell you?

It tells me that my choices have real life consequences. And that by forfeiting my ability to make those choices, I’m at the whims of others who want to decide my life for me. And that sucks.

I let the women of my life drive the bus for 2 decades and all it got me was virginity until I was 27, a divorce, and how NOT to deal with women.

So I started to realize that my choices, actively worked on making decisions that were in my best interest, were driving my life in a positive direction. My focused passionate goals, mission and purpose became the fire that my body fueled on, which made interactions with the opposite sex much more enthralling.

And what’s funny is that many men are shunned for trying to attempt to explore his own interests. My personal interests aren’t a priority for other people, so why the hell would they give a damn about my interests?

That’s the lens you need to get over. Many people are going to push you in directions they want YOU to go, not where you yourself want. Their choices are in THEIR best interest, not yours. So choose your friends wisely.

A Tie on All Angles

A good rule of thumb I’ve learned. If it’s a tie on all angles, always choose your best interest. Don’t let anyone else make that choice for you because you will regret it.

Selfish? Sure. What’s wrong with that? We see a world where people are over-accommodating and over reaching in their involvement in other people’s lives. How about just having them butt the fuck out? What’s wrong with asserting your boundaries? Nothing.

But damn will people not do it and let folks walk all over them. It’s your life, plain and simple. Men who decide their own lives are something of a martyr these days. Especially ones that want to either not get married or want to live the pleighboi life.

Listen, I don’t care what you do with your life, just do it your way. I can’t comment on anyone else’s existence and if I do, I’m just passing judgement that should in no way determine how you live your life. You only have one judge and it ain’t Judy or Whopner.

But the bottom line? It’s your choice. You have control over your life. The more you cede that control to others, the more regret you’ll have in the long run that you didn’t choose what you truly wanted.

Remember this when guys like me are telling you what to avoid in life because we’ve lived it, we know, we’ve made these choices, we’ve understood the consequences, and we are telling you to live your life unapologetically your way.

Don’t live with regret. Live with your choices, ride or die, good or bad.

You are the prize. You matter. You are important. So are your choices.

Diary of the Despondent

One of my favorite bands is Breaking Benjamin. I discovered them in 2005 after a sales symposium I went to and a colleague from Pennsylvania mentioned his close to home town band had hit it big with primal screams, towering riffs, and ice-cold lyrics.

And as I grew fonder of them, one of their songs, with probably nothing to do with the subject, hit home as an anthem for the forever plugged in male attitude that I’d experienced for the vast majority of my current adult life.

“The Diary of Jane”, which officially has something to do with a movie star from the ’40s, I think, had lyrics that screamed through my head as the forever hopeful beta man who’d prayed, pined, and yes, even wept over that “perfect” girl for him, the girl that he loved that didn’t love him. The lyrics tell the tale…

“If I had to I would put myself right beside you
So let me ask you,
Would ya like that? Would ya like that?
And I don’t mind If you say
This love is the last time
So now I’ll ask,
Do ya like that? Do ya like that?

Something’s getting in the way
Something’s just about to break
I will try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
So, tell me
How it should be?

Try to find out
What makes you tick As I lie down
Sore and sick
Do ya like that, Do ya like that?
There’s a fine line
Between love and hate
And I don’t mind
Just let me say,
That I like that, I like that

Something’s getting in the way
Something’s just about to break
I will try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
So tell me
How it should be?

Desperate I will crawl
Waiting for so long
No love, there’s no love
Die for anyone
What have I become?

Something’s getting in the way
Something’s just about to break
I will try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place
In the diary of Jane”

Such was my lot in life throughout my 20’s and briefly after my divorce before I truly became knowledgeable about the ways of things.

Rationalizing Dust

As with most times in the lives of our current modern men who are lost, I call the 10 years between 18 and 27 of my life the “lost decade” simply because I felt I squandered my youth on the fruitless pursuit of true love, passing on from one female crush to the next, desperately hoping that this girl would love me. I didn’t have sex, I kissed four women, I rarely dated, hung with friends, played a shit ton of video games, and generally went from woman to woman like some damn episode of Quantum Leap, hoping that my next crush would be the one that set me free, that this love would be “the one”.

Pathetic? Sure. But when you see that many men are taking this path these days, it’s becoming more problematic seeing men, young men, believe the lies that I believed, and be balls deep in the fiction. My lost decade involved crushes on 5 girls, each who came into my life on more than one occasion, and each time, I was convinced fate, more than anything else, would show them that I was the guy for them.

But fate, or as I now prefer it, “rationalizing dust” is a losing and sometimes deadly game for men.

Fate, hope, and destiny are banners for the weak. I firmly believed, at my young age, that I only had partial control of my life, and these three magic words above were truly in control. So I lived my life on these as fuel. If I truly wanted, yearned, and pined enough for a girl, that she would be mine. I would use any sign, any small gesture, even her talking to me, as a rationalization that “this is why we’ll be together, this is fate taking the wheel.”

Absolute madness.

But the harshest truths are the ones that we refuse to accept, simply because it goes against all we think we stand for, all that we were told we believe. And we as men don’t want to believe such things, because not only does the truth not spare our feelings, it kicks the living shit out of us and then makes us get up for more. We want the feel-good story. We root for the underdog. But as you know if you’ve done any gambling, the underdog seldom wins. And consistently playing that role as a man looking for a woman will yield terrible results, not because of fate, destiny, or magic fucking words, but because of brutal, cold, real, reality.

Call it a pill. Call it whatever you want, but it’s the hardest, most real, most unfortunate truths about women that I didn’t, nay, refused to recognize in my gumdrop, lollipop, unicorn world of hopes and dreams. And these truths are what make or break men in their dealings with the opposite sex.

  • Fate is fantasy. It’s the belief that something will happen, and when fleshed against the rigidness of reality, it buckles like a belt.
  • The girls that I fell in love with never cared for me. In fact, more often than not, I was a nuisance to them. And, as the lyrics above opine, most, if not all of the time, I didn’t even register in their psyche. No pages in their diaries for me. None. Zip. Zilch.
  • Years of my life were wasted on girls who didn’t give two shits about me and never would. I should’ve done more, been more, worked on myself more. Regret is a bitch, and you can’t get those years back. “Die for anyone, What have I become?”
  • Women who did like me weren’t the ones I wanted. And the ones I wanted would never return the affections in the way I wanted.
  • Romance isn’t dead, it’s just misplaced and misused by men desperate to prove something to women who don’t care if he proves anything or not.
  • There are always other dudes. And until you can prove you have better value than the majority, there will always be other dudes. Pragmatism trumps idealism every damn time.
  • Nothing you “do” will make her like you. She’ll find an attraction to you in how much you invest in yourself
  • Women are emotional creatures. That doesn’t make them bad, in fact, it makes them the exact opposite, but you have to know what to expect, how to deal with them, and their chaotic and unpredictable patterns that seldom side with logic. Men and women really are different, but that’s a good thing.
  • Hating women for being women is misogynistic. You believe that they are operating in bad faith. And while some of them truly are, many of them don’t realize they are, nor do they care to understand if they do. Hate the game, not the player. Societal advantages for women have been around for eons and will continue because they outnumber men on this planet. Majority rules. We can still rail against these disadvantages men face, but it won’t change the big picture.

With these truths in tow, many men need to move forward to their new lives under these truths.

But many men just can’t. Hence the title of this post.

The Six D’s of a Man’s Life Realization

Photo Credit: Intellectual Takeout

I was there. I didn’t want to believe any of this. I still fought every day to believe the fairy tale, but it didn’t matter. The plug was pulled and I was out there floating. Many men will just float for decades, hoping to find that the dream really was true, many others will just continue to live their lives as if they weren’t aware and be disappointed. Still more will try to rationalize the irrational, stretching their beliefs into taffy to justify the behavior of others. And unfortunately, many won’t either unplug fully or those that do end their lives because they can’t believe that they were so wrong.

They feel they’ve wasted their lives on a narrative that wasn’t true, not even close, and rather than accept the hard work needed to pick back up, they won’t. They let go.

However, I, among many other men in this sphere that have all unplugged (yes, they all have), are living proof that there is life after death. The old you dies with all of the false knowledge you had and the new you arises equipped to deal with this new reality. It’s harsh but one thing that I can say is that you can be stronger. You can survive this new environment with renewed hope because the hope now comes not from outside forces, but from within yourself.

Self-empowerment and improvement is a cornerstone of this new reality. Faith is put into yourself which makes you more able to survive and thrive.

Here’s the six D’s I used: Denial, Disappointment, Despondency, Discovery, Drive, Domination

My message is simple. It’s never too late for you. I don’t care if you’re 20 or 80. You take responsibility for your life, your beliefs, and your knowledge at the age you do and you then grow with it. The bitter pill isn’t bitter, it’s only bitter for those that refuse to understand that the bitterness is a phase on your journey and it too will pass.

I want to show men that even after the harsh truths above, the six D’s that they go through in this process. I’m writing about this very issue in my book. The seventh D, divorce, is in some men’s lives as well as a phase of discovery.

This isn’t self-help as much as it is self-information. Men need to be aware of all of this crap because I sure as hell wasn’t and I can tell you my father nor my grandfather was either. And with masculinity under attack, the numbers of single mother households growing and the daily messages I get from men struggling, it’s only going to get worse before we can stem the tide.

We’ve lost too many good men to their own weaknesses. We can’t lose any more. The message needs to get out and it needs to get out in a big way.

Women aren’t your problem. You are. Your pining over women is wasting your resources. You’ve forfeited your life direction for a fiction. Something that you can’t control. But you can control this. You can control what you do.

That’s why I’m here. That’s why I do what I do.

It will never change the fact that there will always be men that need help getting out of this morass they are currently stuck in because of society telling them what’s best for them rather than looking inside themselves. Weak men will always be a battle that needs fighting. But the real fight is getting this information to these men without it being attacked as being anti-female or misogynistic. It isn’t and never was. Male empowerment isn’t taking anything away from women, it’s sharpening the roles of each sex and playing to strengths that have been around for thousands of years and aren’t going to go away because of “feelings”.

So stop pining over a woman, deriding your despair into victimhood, and trying to justify the lies that have been told to you. Get out of your own head and get your ass to work. You’ll thank me when you get to the other side and see how fucking awesome it is.

Open your eyes and live. Your best years are ahead of you.

Resignation Superman

Photo Credit: Jaq’s Studio

There was a time, not so long ago, that men were superheroes. Many lost their lives in wars fighting against tyrannical dictators hell-bent on destroying a way of life we all hold dear, an idea we all cherish, that of freedom. These men were tough, strong, dedicated, purposeful, and fearless. The life they lived after their times of service paled in comparison to what they went through. As the wars faded and the men went back to work, they became their jobs, focusing on providing for their families and moving through their lives after traumatic events where they became heroes.

But, as it turns out, this may have been our best generation. Because as with all things that happen, when there are no wars and the enemy is vanquished, we become our own enemy. None of this was bad until the unintended consequences took over. With liberalism and the Sexual Revolution, men became not the saviors of our way of life, but the reasons we have wars, disease, and bad things. Without a real enemy, women turned against men, burning bras, railing about being oppressed, and declaring war on traditional gender roles, as if as of those were necessarily bad.

We went into the ’80s and ’90s and oughts continuing on a spiral down. Women not only wanted to be like men, but they also wanted men replaced and watered down to breeding stock. Ironically, they wanted men with guns to command men to be more docile. The emergence of the “doofus” father figure (Homer Simpson, Al Bundy, etc.) was a mainstay. He was the comic relief for the family that the mother was leading. Men became dumb, bumbling, and ineffective at leading their families, a far cry from the leading man of the ’50s and ’60s.

Men were now comic relief. And we were told by countless women championing equality that this was a new way forward. This was the future. Women were deserving of a man’s life without the consequences.

What’s funny, as my friend Jack always seems to succinctly point out, is that feminism as a whole is just making it up as they go along. They got the right to vote, so they pushed more. They have all the rights and privileges as men (despite their harangues about the mythical wage gap), but feminism can only thrive when they are a victim. Feminism is chaos, unorganized.

Ironically, women could not get these new rights without men with guns. That’s the catch here. And it also pisses women off something fierce, which is why you see feminism angered about the armed forces and men in uniform. They can’t stand that they have to rely on men to enforce their whims.

The problem with feminism, as there are so many to even count or comprehend, is that in order for it to flourish, it has to demonize the other sex. It just can’t be happy in its femininity, with all of the great things that women bring to the table just by being beautiful, feminine women. It had to have more. It had to have the benefits of being a man while avoiding pitfalls. But here’s the issue: Feminism is dying. How do I know? Because they’ve gotten everything they wanted, now they have to weaken men by claiming “toxic” masculinity. That same toxicity that saved our world from evil men just 80 years ago has been shit canned for the chaotic, uneven, absolutely bastardized version of civil rights in this new decade.

Men can use women’s bathrooms, white men are the devil, and more grievance-mongering by the radical, feminist left. And it will get worse before it gets better, but I can assure you, it will get better.

The Push to Weaken Masculinity

There has been a concerted effort to weaken masculinity for years now and it has crescendoed into an active effort to demean, clinically oppress, and undermine men and what they stand for.

And unfortunately, many men are letting it happen. Rather than keeping sharp and raising their levels, many millions of men have given up, happily floating through life as the do-nothing lummox, drinking with his friends, settling for sex once a month, gladly putting down his responsibility to the feminist wife who wants it all, until she doesn’t.

Men have relinquished their roles because it’s easy, technologically feasible, and encouraged by a society hell-bent on putting men on a path to oblivion. Gone are the days of men who would take control of their families, lead despite opposition, and do the tough things it takes to be a man in the 20th and now 21st centuries. Men were given a “get out of jail free” card and they took it by the millions until the feminine imperative decides to chaotically change the rules again.

That’s the deal here. Men are letting the chaotic flow of feminism take them to wherever it goes, and even the females leading the charge have no freakin’ clue how to direct the river. They just see what they can get away with and run with it. Whatever they feel they can justify and move the needle any more in their favor, they will take. But what’s happened?

Instead of taking power, women have found that what men do is tougher than they thought. They’ve found that living the man’s lifestyle while rewarding to a certain extent, is hard. Women who were strong leaders in their 30’s are now on dating apps because no sane minded man will date them. Their feminist, militaristic views of where men should fall in the new order will result in them simply settling for a man who is a weak, delicate supporter, just to get laid more than likely.

What these women fail to realize is that by weakening men, they’ve cut their nose off to spite their face. They’ve taken the foundation away from a strong society and replaced it with only gravel, which with one shake will give way.

Men have given up because they don’t believe the fight is worth the fuss, they just don’t care anymore, or will gladly let the women do the heavy lifting. Laziness, indolence, and selfishness have continued to be the cards millions of men punch because society has allowed them to do it. What will it take to get them back?

Resignation to Reconquest

I believe that men’s natural drive to lead will come back. The resignation will be short-lived because men are needed to take their rightful place as patriarchs and foundations of strong societies. When human beings attempt to ignore their natural preclusion to a hierarchy, Mother Nature works it all out in the end by replacing the weak man with the strong. History time and time again has shown that societies with strong men at their center thrive and grow. It happened with the Greeks, Persians, Chinese, Romans, Arabs, and Christians.

What feminists fail to realize is that their little victories trying to demonize men will eventually cost them the whole war, because they don’t want to recognize humans’ natural tendencies to arrange into the male-female hierarchies that dominate our history. Every time we as a human race attempt to break away from Mother Nature, she pulls us right back into our natural tendencies. We can’t break free of nature, even if we have a higher capacity of thought than any other animal. It still doesn’t change our insides, our hearts, our bodies, and how we operate.

Nature still wins. And in this case, nature will continue to win until we stop fighting it and start cherishing our natural heritage. If we don’t, then we will go the way of so many empires before us, much sooner than they did, because we refuse to pick up a weapon out of shame from our supposed female “betters”. They aren’t our betters, no one is. They are complimentary. Working together as natural allies is the only path forward.

Having hurt feelings doesn’t do you much good when facing a loaded gun.

Being trite or dismissive will get your throat slit by those who don’t give a damn about anything else but their own survival.

All of this technology, the borders we have, the walls we erect, are meaningless unless there is a Superman to help enforce it. And those Supermen, every day, stand a post with a gun and watch those who wish us harm. And if they resign, God help us.

But I feel good knowing that I stand a post in my own life as opposed to the millions of men who’ve unknowingly put their guns down for a life of luxury and no responsibility. I feel like those men will either fall off naturally or pick up a weapon because one way or the other, it’s going to happen at some point.

One of my favorite groups of the ’90s was Big Head Todd and the Monsters, and my favorite song by them is the title of this particular blog post. The lyrics of their song bite deep. What happens when men decide to put down their guns and stop fighting for the world that needs them?

He’ll come flying out of this town
A resignation superman
And today the bad guys win
‘Cause he turned his cape in
Now, he says
And I’ll turn my back on this world
Yes, I’ll turn my eyes from this world
Oh well … Yes, he’s tired of fighting in this town
All the suffering and vice
He wants to fall in love
Maybe settle in and live a life
And I’ll turn my back on this world
Yes, I’ll turn my eyes form this world Oh I want to believe in you now that I’m suffering
Oh lord, I need to receive your hand in my heart And he keeps an eye upon this town
The resignation superman
He’ll keep himself amused
With the evening news
Oh my …
And I’ll turn my back on this world
Yes, I’ll turn my eyes from this world
Now I broke my back on this world
Now I’ll wash my hands of this world Oh I want to believe in you now that I’m suffering
Oh lord, I need to receive your hand in my heart

The strong men are still here. They just need to be awoken.

The Purity Test

When I entered the “manosphere” (I really wish we could come up with a better name, but it’s stuck and will forever) in September of last year, I entered a sphere chocked full of men trying to help other men, either by profit or not, and growing unity with conventions, workshops, and meet and greets out to help other men. In fact, when I started The Red Pill Dad account, I was finally on board after a dead end decade long marriage had ended in 2016.

I, just like other men who come to this world for help, was bitter and jaded from a marriage and divorce, as well as bad relationships with BPD girls, an overweight dominatrix, as well as four relationships that had ended with either me cheating, her flaking, or a little of both. So I was starved for some kind of guidance. While in the dark times of 2016 in the middle of my divorce, nearly jobless, stressed, depressed and suicidal, disowned by my family for daring to do my own thing, I bought a book called “The Rational Male” and it did indeed change my life. Rollo’s information (at that time had been floating around the manosphere for over a decade if not longer) did light a spark in me. I’m forever grateful to Rollo for his book.

As I got further in, I met amazing men such as Hunter Drew, Jack Murphy, Rian Stone, ADJ, Alexander JA Cortes, Ed Latimore, and saw a very good camaraderie and an amazing group of people who were just what I was looking for to help me not only continue to find out who I am, but also, as I morphed into the man today TW Beckett from The Red Pill Dad, I’ve also understood that all of these men, and I do mean all of them, have been through some shit. I came here to learn how to take back control of my life, learn to deal with women after half a lifetime of struggling, and better myself by doing hard things. My journey is mine, and there are parts I share that are difficult, and may show me as less of a man, but I can’t change the past, I can only learn from it.

While I’ve only been on this side of the world or what is called the “manosphere” for a little over a year, I’ve seldom commented on the ongoing beef between the factions. I don’t like it, I think it’s dumb, and I want it to end and all sides come to an agreement, so we can all move on to helping men. In particular, I’ve watched anon accounts throwing bombs at good men who I’ve become friends with without any acknowledgement of their own issues. I hold my tongue often because I know it’s just internet trolls and twitter fucks are a dime a dozen.

I don’t have a dog in this fight, but when good men are run down because of the bullshit they either had to or chose to endure in the past, I have to speak up. Call it white knighting if you must, but these are men I’ve met, I know, are heads of organizations that I am a part of, and wear the scars of their shitty choices every day as warnings to those of us who could be in their situations.

The Test

There is an ongoing purity test in the manosphere that men who’ve endured some shit don’t have the moral chops to lead other men or talk to men about how to be better. If they’ve had a significant other cheat on them, participated in some type of wife swapping or cuckoldry, served time, sells services as a “life coach”, etc. I don’t do any of that shit, and I’ve never had any type of issues with cheating (I’ve cheated many times) but it still stands to reason that every man has a story to tell, has done some things that he isn’t proud of, and learned from those things to come and show men how to endure and get through the tough times to get to where you are today. I appreciate men who show who they are, what happened to them, and what they and I can learn from their experiences. If the manosphere is anything, it’s about men going through hell to get back to taking control of their lives, and if men are buying Rollo’s book, they’re going through hell and have been wronged by a woman at some point.

The purity test comes in when a man’s past is questioned as whether he can lead and motivate other men. I can’t say this enough, EVERY MAN IN THE MANOSPHERE HAS BEEN UNPLUGGED. Every last one. In the many conversations I’ve had with many men, that fact cannot be overstated.

In my personal discussions with many of these men, nothing has come across such as “marry the girl you love”, “she’s the one”, or any other shit like that. Do you know why? Because they’ve all read Rollo. They all know the score. They all have the iron rules memorized. The mistakes they made in the past LED them to unplug and not ever fall for the shit again.

That’s a majority of the manosphere, and men that I talk to on a daily basis tell me that they are glad they’ve found us and that we can help them, but the daily bomb throwing is taking away from the message. But it is what it is.

Whenever you throw a purity test in the mix, whether you’re an anon in the manosphere or a pearl clutching feminist, history has shown again and again that there is no one pure enough. There will always be skeletons in closets that will be red meat for those that think certain people shouldn’t be leading or producing diatribes for one way of life or another. There will always be someone who is more pure, has more of a moral high ground (or so they think) and can throw morality bombs with impunity. The internet adds to this effect because of anonymity. I dare say if most of these trolls showed their real faces, we’d see them as the same broken men that we see talking to us about putting our lives back together.

So far, the purity test of the manosphere that I’ve observed is:

  • don’t have a woman cheat on you and take her back
  • don’t allow your woman to sleep with another man willingly (cuck)
  • don’t go to jail for a petty crime that now involves a legal substance
  • don’t try to sell your advice
  • don’t council men to fall in love, give flowers, show affection or emotion, etc.
  • Can’t or shouldn’t ever raise another man’s kids
  • have a long term marriage with a woman that is in your frame

So far, it looks as if this follows a “purity” test pretty well. We see internet tough guys and anons firing off these tests in rapid succession as a front to those men who wish to help others but shouldn’t because they aren’t “pure”.

If guys are using the above criteria for grading men who are leading this manosphere, no one would pass the smell test.

I pass on almost all of the purity test, except the long term frame stuff, but I’ll get that box checked with flying colors. If we are going to use Rollo and his life as our litmus test, he escaped with his life from a terrible BPD relationship and has raised a daughter and a wife as a leader, exactly the same shit that all of these men teach other men.

We’ll never know the whole story of the beef, but if one side can toss shit at the other and vice versa, we can see the real issues come to a boil in the form of men just not liking each other. Everyone teaches the same stuff, it’s just a matter of time before it all boils up.

Men in need of our help come in all shapes and sizes. They’ve been through the shit of life. They have no idea how to deal with women. And all you are doing by screwing with dudes who are trying to lead and bring up their pasts is hurting the cause that we all believe in, that men can and do take second chances. That’s what the red pill is to a lot of men. A second chance to make better choices with their lives, especially with women.

I don’t condone any of this shit, regardless of what side it comes from. But I do understand that it’s taking away from what we are trying to do here, and it’s not going to change any time soon.

But I also don’t like any men who show their asses to degrade other men, and both sides do it. It’s childish and it’s taking away the important work every man is trying to do.

How in the hell are men supposed to get better when asshats bring up their past mistakes? How are men who’ve participated in cuckoldry, a cheating spouse, or other incidents supposed to get help when they are made fun of at every point to try and degrade their contributions to the ‘sphere?

These are men just like you and I, who’ve made mistakes and are learning from them and taking these dark times and pushing through. If you don’t like it, fine. But the red pill doesn’t care what any man’s been through, it only cares about how to get that man back on his feet.

I stand with those who stand with me, who own their mistakes and refuse to back down in the face of such arrogance and stupidity.

I stand with the men making it happen every day, I stand with those who made mistakes and own up to them, not those the provide an invisible goal that changes every day with how they live their lives. These are men trying to get better, realizing their flaws, and working to make them better.

Hunter Drew and Jack Murphy have done nothing but support me and help me grow in my following. They are fellow fathers who’ve made mistakes and have owned up to them and are trying to help fellow men not make the same mistakes.

I can’t, in good conscience, support people who consistently beat down men who’ve made horrible mistakes, all while trying to promote helping men because of some stupid feud. It’s counter-productive to what we are all about and it’s a masturbatory exercise that only boosts the egos of those who choose that path.

If this means I choose a side, I guess I do.

You should pick on some one your own size, because Hunter Drew and Jack Murphy aren’t even close to you.

Bring it. I’m ready for your ridicule. And I don’t give a flying fuck what you say, it doesn’t affect me in the least. But do so with the caveat that other men are watching you act like children, and are taking notes as to who’s who and who’s on what side.

So add another chump to the mix of your “purple pill” gurus, even though I’m not purple pill and I’m certainly not a guru. My life is on my pages at my blog and you can comb through it to your heart’s content to make fun of me. I don’t raise another man’s kids, I’m no cuck, and I’m not taking back an ex.

The Rational Male was written for guys just like me, Hunter, and Jack. We needed that knowledge in our lives, and we continue to use it every day. It’s not a punch line, it’s a way of life men need. But wrong or right, it’s about acting like you’ve been there.

But I wish I was, because I’m not half the man these guys are, nor will I ever be. They’ve accomplished more than I have, they’ve led men to get their lives back together, and they’ve allowed me to join their ranks and given me great knowledge to help me on my own journey. I’d gladly take these men working to help guys unplug than a meme generator that throws bombs any day.

So you have another “purple pill cuck” to throw bombs at. Block me, talk shit, there’s plenty to make fun of. I make no excuses nor do I hold back on what I’ve been through.

My journey will continue with a few less people on board, but it will be real, it will be open, and it will be unapologetic.

Bring it or grow the fuck up and get to work helping men.

They’re watching all of us.

The Narrative

Photo Credit: Masterfile.com

Ah, Hollywood.

For decades now, the city out west has been trying to define pop culture and change society. Hollywood and it’s products have a larger effect on people than we realize, especially in defining changing roles in the world between the sexes. Hollywood has always been a catalyst for change, but with more and more people watching more and more Netflix, movies, etc, you start to see patterns develop on how Hollywood and the liberal culture that drives it want men and women to behave.

And as a younger man, I fell for it hook, line and sinker. With such a far reaching entity such as this, it’s bound to affect many people with it’s misleading stereotypes as well as it’s fairy tale endings that always seem to work out for everyone involved at just the right time.

When I was terminally single in my 20’s, I always watched a ton of movies and shows that were showing the plight of the single man and how if he just did that one nice thing, a gorgeous woman would drop out of the sky for him, and he would live happily every after.

The sell for TV shows like Friends, movies with Hugh Grant, etc., was that no matter how emasculated a man was, his quirky, funny, and wholeheartedly feminine self would always get the girl in the end, because that’s how it always works, right?

Many of the producers of such shows were either women trying to project what they thought men should be like, or weak willed men who truly believed, as many millions of men before and after them have been raised to believe, that men were supposed to be nice. Niceness, in all of it’s unfettered, unmotivated glory, would get the girl in the end.

I’ve spoken at length on the nice guy phenomenon and how I was just like all those other guys, truly believing that the Hollywood way was the only way, as this was all you ever saw on TV in my time (90’s). Ross Gellar was going to get Rachel. Everyone roots for the underdog. The problem is, like you see in many sports these days, the underdogs don’t win very often because they aren’t the quality of the winners. But where did all of this perpetual bad dating information resonate from?

The “Just Be Yourself” crowd and most of the other feminized sects of TV came from feminism and it’s influences creeping into TV and movies. The real start of this intrusion was in the 90’s, right about the time the male tough guy hero was at his peak and as the ought of the 21st century came around, gone were the tough guys and out of the blue appeared the guys who were quirky, socially awkward, video game nerds who weren’t particularly masculine, but still commanded the female attention because this was how it was supposed to be.

I was a nerd, still am to a certain extent. I had two friends in school and they had no friends. I played Dungeons & Dragons, Magic the Gathering, video games of all shape and size in the 90’s. Generation X, my generation, was the generation that was going to re-define men in to a more pleasing, less conflicted feminism induced shape. And as I was that in spades, I decided to take the Hollywood version of the “Homo Novos” and apply it to my life, with disastrous consequences.

I literally went out into the dating pool with the “poor me” syndrome that permeates modern men and their single lives. Never did I try to learn a new skill, work on improving my life, or even get my whole career in shape. I focused on looking for women and trying to look as pathetic and needy as I could. Because that was what I was shown would work. Any woman I had any remote interest in, I would decide to be as nice as I could and my misery was the focus of my life. These miserable guys? On TV they would always be in a scene where they’re at the grocery store with sad music playing, pining for their “one”. And their “one” would feel sorry for them and come running. This is how it was!

Was I weak? Hell yes I was. But it wasn’t like the single man narrative was changing outside of the glowing electric box. Everyone in my world believed the same things I did. My friends, family, co-workers, every damn man I knew believed the same things I did. The ones that didn’t? The ones that never watched the crap. They were too busy winning football games, fighting the enemy on foreign shores, and cutting down trees into firewood.

As I no longer watch much TV or movies, I have been peeking in recently to see what Hollywood continues to try and sell men, and quite frankly, it hasn’t changed at all and if anything, this behavior has gotten much more ingrained into the male psyche.

The story’s the same. Man pines for any woman in his life, flash to him carrying a basket in the grocery store, sad music. It keeps replaying like a bad film with no audience, but the narrative has to continue to be pushed.

A man’s goal is not a woman, but watch any movie or TV show, and you see a man working towards that goal. The two dimensional place holder guys who are just there to prop up the “strong female lead” play the same role in every last movie they’re in. Men are secondary, females lead. Not at all how life was intended, but muh feminism.

I think of the movie “Rocky” and how all the narratives need to fall the way that one does. His woman was an afterthought in that movie. The goal was to win. The goal was to get better. The goal was to train.

The ultimate goal for any man should be what’s in his best interest. Whether it’s taking down terrorists to save the world, fighting an opponent in the ring, or finding out who the hell he is and loving that person, regardless, the whole fairy tale that Hollywood indeed gift wraps in a crap sandwich every month is a WOMAN’S fairy tale.

Every story that floats down the crapper water coming out of Los Angeles every week is a female’s wet dream. Men have no place in it except as breeding stock or arm candy. And it’s not as if women have had a chance to have better ideas, they just chose not to use them and instead pined for the days when they could be the “men” in the story.

And here, they now have it, and like clockwork, the feminization of media continues, but it’s not what women expected.

Nope, instead of getting billions of dollars for a new remake of the female version of Die Hard, they are getting shit canned by the American public, a group tired of listening to the tired wails coming from the place that used to be a magical town that defined masculinity in actors such as Cary Grant, Sean Connery, and John Wayne, and femininity in actresses like Katherine Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, and Grace Kelly.

Instead, it’s the narrative that drives Hollywood now. And as we saw earlier this year with “Joker”, Hollywood hates men, but men still sell, and sell very well, and will continue to sell. Production companies aren’t selling a product as much as they are trying to push a way of life, but unlike in the decades before, this way of life is turning off a majority of the American public.

The bottom line of this and every other story that’s come out of that town is what makes money will ultimately win over. Why a flick with a strong male lead is a dying breed is a feminist wet dream, but the strong male lead will continue to be successful.

And men aren’t going anywhere.

Get Away From the Box

So, that begs the question, what can we do?

Well, my biggest issue that I had to overcome was to recognize the crap and get the garbage out of my life. The narrative can’t be disseminated if it’s not being watched.

So turn the damn thing off.

The best part about my life is that I’m not shaped by the events on an electronic screen. And I appreciate that my views are no longer influenced by a device that has no interest in my life, only my money and my time.

When you start to realize that none of the FICTION that is produced in those studios have any relevance in your life, you’ll look forward to making your own movie, under your own direction, about the triumph that your life truly is.

I really wish that I would’ve discovered this sooner in my life, because my ignorance got the best of me and my real beliefs that this was how the world really was drove me into my marriage and my fake life until 4 years ago.

Unplugging isn’t just about taking responsibility for your life, it’s truly about unplugging from all devices that give you a false sense of what’s really going on out there. It really is the Matrix, because it’s developed by people with an agenda that really don’t care about you or your problems, but want to spread a belief or behavior that they wholeheartedly endorse.

Taking responsibility for your life begins with accepting what is real and what isn’t. And a narrative parroted on TV isn’t real life.

It never was.

The Chasm

Photo Credit: Suicide in Judaism

Four years ago this week, one of my good friends from college ended his life.

He was having a huge custody dispute with his ex-wife after she cheated on him with one of his friends. He was fighting for visitation rights for his two kids after he and his ex got into a fight and he was arrested and slapped with a restraining order. He had struggled for over a year with the divorce proceedings, losing his cool time and time again and seeing less and less of his kids.

So, the great equalizer, so he thought, was breaking in to his ex-wife’s apartment on a cold December Sunday and blowing his brains out in her dining room.

I can’t be sure of why he acted with such horrendous judgement. I can’t be sure that he was tired of the process and had no where to turn. He was alone, fighting for his kids, and getting kicked and punched in a metaphorical sense by the courts and his ex, so it seems plausible. He was looking for a symbolic gesture, the ultimate “fuck you” to his ex. I can’t put myself in his situation, although I’ve seen similar things happen to men, but I can’t possible fathom what he was thinking that terrible Sunday.

The story that seems to stick from his family and friends is that he was going to “make an example to his ex”.

What ended up happening was nothing like he planned.

His ex, after the initial shock, quietly called the police, had them clean up the mess, fake mourned with the kids, and resumed her life. Everything this horribly symbolic gesture he thought was supposed to get out of her, regret, sadness, misery, being lost, pining for him to come back, didn’t transpire. She cashed the life insurance check, went to the funeral, and then went on with her life.

That’s cold shit. But it’s also fucking reality.

The bottom line in this sad situation is that the only people affected by his selfish act were his kids, who don’t have a dad anymore, and his family, who are without a brother, uncle, and son.

The harsh truth: His ex didn’t give a flying fuck about his death.

His family has suffered for years this time of year because he decided to make a life ending decision. Instead of a holiday filled with happy times with him, his family mourns every year over the loss of this man.

And there lies the crux of why men are doing these terrible things to themselves.

Suicide in the United States is quickly becoming an epidemic. 7 out of 10 suicides are men. These men are similar in mindset to my friend. They feel they have to struggle with life’s problems alone, lest they be ridiculed and made to feel inferior for not dealing with their problems “like a man”. These men don’t go to therapy, as they think it makes them look weak, won’t solve their problems, or is a taboo brought down by other men who “have their lives together.” Society in general wants men to grow up and deal with their problems, but they give them absolutely no road map on how to accomplish that.

I’m sure, never in his wildest fantasies about his suicide, would he have imagined his ex coming in, taking a mop and bucket to his mess, wiping the walls with a wash cloth, and moving on with her life. Raw, isn’t it? It’s a messed up situation that he was hoping would end in his ex crying on his remains. But his story, just like all the others, ends the same. He’s not here anymore by his own hand. A selfish act intended to make a huge point ends up only costing some drywall, carpet, and bleach.

The chasm, or the breach that he was looking into, was one of symbolism, pain, hardship, and hopelessness that many men face everyday. But the issue here that I’m getting at is what they think they are doing by sacrificing their lives for some unknown principle, belief, or slight against someone, doesn’t even affect that person most of the time.

Men who feel they have no where to turn will often take their own lives because they lack any sort of out for their overwhelming feelings of depression. Many don’t want to go to therapy, join a men’s group, or talk to a religious leader because they fear they will look weak, be ridiculed, or have their dirty laundry aired to the congregation during Sunday brunch.

So they double down on doing the things they were doing that weren’t working to get out of the hole they’re in. Their feelings of potential embarrassment about being “broken” or needing help override their very real need to seek out professional or group help.

Don’t Be Afraid to Get Help

As I write this, I think about my own denial about getting help for my issues, until I actually broke down and went to a therapist. While therapy is STILL to this day looked down upon as being weak for men to do by society, it was the greatest thing that I have ever done. Not only did it help me get out of a tailspin of a marriage, it also got me my life back. It got me through the depression and rock bottom parts of my divorce where I was contemplating doing the same damn thing my friend did 4 years ago.

I got help, and I’m here today to tell men once again that getting help from someone, any one, will save your lives. But you have to reach out. Trust me, the help is there. I’ve found a men’s fraternity that has given me new life and more help than I could ever imagine. These new fraternities or men’s groups have the potential to help men so much. Therapy and talking to a neutral party can help a man get out the shit that’s weighing him down and making him suffer. The times are changing, but men’s problems are still the same. There are many outlets for you to grow and get better, but it starts with you getting over the idea that you, yourself, can get out of this mess. If you could, you wouldn’t be in it any more.

The chasm that many men face is too daunting, too difficult, too dark to try and traverse. So they give up and fall in. What they don’t see, what they never see, is the bridge just off in the distance, or the chasm closing a few miles down, or the path down the chasm that takes them to the other side with a little bit of work. Their vantage point is one of hopelessness, only seeing where they are standing at that point in time, looking down at their feet and the endless below. They can’t see, or perhaps don’t want to see, the whole picture because it doesn’t fit in their narration of how their life tragically ends. They put an emphatic period on their story by falling into the chasm without even stopping to think who it will affect, how, and why.

She Doesn’t Care

This brings me to the other issue of this blog post, that of the why. Many, many men commit suicide over a woman in their life. They see that she’s cheated on them, so just like my friend, their great equalizer is supposed to be a tragic death throe as their ex dives at them in horror at what they’ve done.

Let me be blunt guys.

The only women that you’re hurting when you pull the trigger are the women in your family. They’ve lost a son because he couldn’t get over a girl who easily got over him. Your sacrifice doesn’t mean SHIT to any girl that you feel it will. Your ex-wife or girlfriend doesn’t care about you killing yourself because of her. She’s already rid of you and all you’ve done is pointlessly, selfishly, ended your life to see what she’ll do.

You won’t fucking see it because you’ll be DEAD.

Many men don’t think any of this through when jaded by a lover or ex.

They just pull the trigger.

The pain of your loss won’t be felt by anyone except those that love you. You are selfishly stealing years away from them because you can’t handle the fact that a woman cheated on you, or left you. This is where you precisely need to “man up”.

Go to therapy, unplug and take control of your life instead of letting a woman with no interest make you do terrible things to yourself.

Crossing the Chasm

I miss my friend. I miss him every day. I miss him even more now knowing that I didn’t reach out like I should have, but even if I had, I don’t think he would’ve taken my help. What can men do to help? What can men do who are struggling? How can they cross the chasm?

I will recommend to men exactly what I did.

First, recognize you have a problem and you can’t solve said problem without help. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to reach out if you’re struggling. How will you overcome obstacles if you don’t have help?

I think of it like my Spartan career. When I trifecta’d in 2016, I needed a team of people to help me overcome obstacles. Sure, the ones I did alone made me feel like a bad ass, but still, I needed help with a wall, the rope climb, or a traverse wall, I had to have another man help me out. No shame in admitting that, nor is there shame in accepting the help. I still got my medal and my t-shirt, and I did it with teamwork. The same goes the other way. You can help others who need it by reaching out and asking them how they truly are, how their life is going, and where their hangups are.

Men have to realize that ANY chasm is not an impossible task. There are bridges, other people, and choke points that will get you across. You just have to believe. Just like lack of belief is strong in determining if a man will take his own life, the reverse can help save it. If a man knows there are ways out of his situation, he will be more willing to trudge on and fight. It’s when that belief doesn’t exist that he will spiral down into telling himself it’s hopeless.

It’s not hopeless, gentlemen.

It’s never hopeless.

I’m a shining example of what can be done if you truly reach out for help. I’ve only gained in my masculinity and my manhood by asking other men to help me achieve things in my own life.

Guys, if you are struggling with thoughts of suicide and depression in your life, the first thing you have to do is recognize the problem. The second thing you need to do is seek help from either a therapist, religious leader, or a men’s group of like minded men. The third? Action.

These things alone will help pull you from the chasm and get your life back on track. But be prepared to understand that it’s still on YOU and that you must take these steps to get your life back. The men can help you on the path, but you still have to take the steps to make it happen. Accountability and tough love are in for you, because you aren’t special, your problems are the problems of many other men, and a greater man can overcome these problems with relative ease compared to you.

You can’t just float and hope the wind blows. You still have to take positive, real ACTION for your life to get better. That’s the way it is and that’s the way it will always be. But the sooner you take action to pull yourself away from the chasm, the quicker your life will become a special work of art that has meaning to you again.

Guys, suicide and depression are real problems. I’m not going to pretend they don’t exist. But you have to reach out and get help. You have to accept you have a problem, you have to accept that you need help, and you have to accept the action needed to be taken by you to get past this.

Don’t be a statistic like my friend. I miss him every day. His family misses him. He took his life because of issues he couldn’t get over. He didn’t ask for help. He is no longer here. Please, please reach out for help.

My DM’s are always open on Twitter. My email is bubonicplague7@gmail.com. Reach out for help. I’m here for you.