Resignation Superman

Photo Credit: Jaq’s Studio

There was a time, not so long ago, that men were superheroes. Many lost their lives in wars fighting against tyrannical dictators hell-bent on destroying a way of life we all hold dear, an idea we all cherish, that of freedom. These men were tough, strong, dedicated, purposeful, and fearless. The life they lived after their times of service paled in comparison to what they went through. As the wars faded and the men went back to work, they became their jobs, focusing on providing for their families and moving through their lives after traumatic events where they became heroes.

But, as it turns out, this may have been our best generation. Because as with all things that happen, when there are no wars and the enemy is vanquished, we become our own enemy. None of this was bad until the unintended consequences took over. With liberalism and the Sexual Revolution, men became not the saviors of our way of life, but the reasons we have wars, disease, and bad things. Without a real enemy, women turned against men, burning bras, railing about being oppressed, and declaring war on traditional gender roles, as if as of those were necessarily bad.

We went into the ’80s and ’90s and oughts continuing on a spiral down. Women not only wanted to be like men, but they also wanted men replaced and watered down to breeding stock. Ironically, they wanted men with guns to command men to be more docile. The emergence of the “doofus” father figure (Homer Simpson, Al Bundy, etc.) was a mainstay. He was the comic relief for the family that the mother was leading. Men became dumb, bumbling, and ineffective at leading their families, a far cry from the leading man of the ’50s and ’60s.

Men were now comic relief. And we were told by countless women championing equality that this was a new way forward. This was the future. Women were deserving of a man’s life without the consequences.

What’s funny, as my friend Jack always seems to succinctly point out, is that feminism as a whole is just making it up as they go along. They got the right to vote, so they pushed more. They have all the rights and privileges as men (despite their harangues about the mythical wage gap), but feminism can only thrive when they are a victim. Feminism is chaos, unorganized.

Ironically, women could not get these new rights without men with guns. That’s the catch here. And it also pisses women off something fierce, which is why you see feminism angered about the armed forces and men in uniform. They can’t stand that they have to rely on men to enforce their whims.

The problem with feminism, as there are so many to even count or comprehend, is that in order for it to flourish, it has to demonize the other sex. It just can’t be happy in its femininity, with all of the great things that women bring to the table just by being beautiful, feminine women. It had to have more. It had to have the benefits of being a man while avoiding pitfalls. But here’s the issue: Feminism is dying. How do I know? Because they’ve gotten everything they wanted, now they have to weaken men by claiming “toxic” masculinity. That same toxicity that saved our world from evil men just 80 years ago has been shit canned for the chaotic, uneven, absolutely bastardized version of civil rights in this new decade.

Men can use women’s bathrooms, white men are the devil, and more grievance-mongering by the radical, feminist left. And it will get worse before it gets better, but I can assure you, it will get better.

The Push to Weaken Masculinity

There has been a concerted effort to weaken masculinity for years now and it has crescendoed into an active effort to demean, clinically oppress, and undermine men and what they stand for.

And unfortunately, many men are letting it happen. Rather than keeping sharp and raising their levels, many millions of men have given up, happily floating through life as the do-nothing lummox, drinking with his friends, settling for sex once a month, gladly putting down his responsibility to the feminist wife who wants it all, until she doesn’t.

Men have relinquished their roles because it’s easy, technologically feasible, and encouraged by a society hell-bent on putting men on a path to oblivion. Gone are the days of men who would take control of their families, lead despite opposition, and do the tough things it takes to be a man in the 20th and now 21st centuries. Men were given a “get out of jail free” card and they took it by the millions until the feminine imperative decides to chaotically change the rules again.

That’s the deal here. Men are letting the chaotic flow of feminism take them to wherever it goes, and even the females leading the charge have no freakin’ clue how to direct the river. They just see what they can get away with and run with it. Whatever they feel they can justify and move the needle any more in their favor, they will take. But what’s happened?

Instead of taking power, women have found that what men do is tougher than they thought. They’ve found that living the man’s lifestyle while rewarding to a certain extent, is hard. Women who were strong leaders in their 30’s are now on dating apps because no sane minded man will date them. Their feminist, militaristic views of where men should fall in the new order will result in them simply settling for a man who is a weak, delicate supporter, just to get laid more than likely.

What these women fail to realize is that by weakening men, they’ve cut their nose off to spite their face. They’ve taken the foundation away from a strong society and replaced it with only gravel, which with one shake will give way.

Men have given up because they don’t believe the fight is worth the fuss, they just don’t care anymore, or will gladly let the women do the heavy lifting. Laziness, indolence, and selfishness have continued to be the cards millions of men punch because society has allowed them to do it. What will it take to get them back?

Resignation to Reconquest

I believe that men’s natural drive to lead will come back. The resignation will be short-lived because men are needed to take their rightful place as patriarchs and foundations of strong societies. When human beings attempt to ignore their natural preclusion to a hierarchy, Mother Nature works it all out in the end by replacing the weak man with the strong. History time and time again has shown that societies with strong men at their center thrive and grow. It happened with the Greeks, Persians, Chinese, Romans, Arabs, and Christians.

What feminists fail to realize is that their little victories trying to demonize men will eventually cost them the whole war, because they don’t want to recognize humans’ natural tendencies to arrange into the male-female hierarchies that dominate our history. Every time we as a human race attempt to break away from Mother Nature, she pulls us right back into our natural tendencies. We can’t break free of nature, even if we have a higher capacity of thought than any other animal. It still doesn’t change our insides, our hearts, our bodies, and how we operate.

Nature still wins. And in this case, nature will continue to win until we stop fighting it and start cherishing our natural heritage. If we don’t, then we will go the way of so many empires before us, much sooner than they did, because we refuse to pick up a weapon out of shame from our supposed female “betters”. They aren’t our betters, no one is. They are complimentary. Working together as natural allies is the only path forward.

Having hurt feelings doesn’t do you much good when facing a loaded gun.

Being trite or dismissive will get your throat slit by those who don’t give a damn about anything else but their own survival.

All of this technology, the borders we have, the walls we erect, are meaningless unless there is a Superman to help enforce it. And those Supermen, every day, stand a post with a gun and watch those who wish us harm. And if they resign, God help us.

But I feel good knowing that I stand a post in my own life as opposed to the millions of men who’ve unknowingly put their guns down for a life of luxury and no responsibility. I feel like those men will either fall off naturally or pick up a weapon because one way or the other, it’s going to happen at some point.

One of my favorite groups of the ’90s was Big Head Todd and the Monsters, and my favorite song by them is the title of this particular blog post. The lyrics of their song bite deep. What happens when men decide to put down their guns and stop fighting for the world that needs them?

He’ll come flying out of this town
A resignation superman
And today the bad guys win
‘Cause he turned his cape in
Now, he says
And I’ll turn my back on this world
Yes, I’ll turn my eyes from this world
Oh well … Yes, he’s tired of fighting in this town
All the suffering and vice
He wants to fall in love
Maybe settle in and live a life
And I’ll turn my back on this world
Yes, I’ll turn my eyes form this world Oh I want to believe in you now that I’m suffering
Oh lord, I need to receive your hand in my heart And he keeps an eye upon this town
The resignation superman
He’ll keep himself amused
With the evening news
Oh my …
And I’ll turn my back on this world
Yes, I’ll turn my eyes from this world
Now I broke my back on this world
Now I’ll wash my hands of this world Oh I want to believe in you now that I’m suffering
Oh lord, I need to receive your hand in my heart

The strong men are still here. They just need to be awoken.

The Purity Test

When I entered the “manosphere” (I really wish we could come up with a better name, but it’s stuck and will forever) in September of last year, I entered a sphere chocked full of men trying to help other men, either by profit or not, and growing unity with conventions, workshops, and meet and greets out to help other men. In fact, when I started The Red Pill Dad account, I was finally on board after a dead end decade long marriage had ended in 2016.

I, just like other men who come to this world for help, was bitter and jaded from a marriage and divorce, as well as bad relationships with BPD girls, an overweight dominatrix, as well as four relationships that had ended with either me cheating, her flaking, or a little of both. So I was starved for some kind of guidance. While in the dark times of 2016 in the middle of my divorce, nearly jobless, stressed, depressed and suicidal, disowned by my family for daring to do my own thing, I bought a book called “The Rational Male” and it did indeed change my life. Rollo’s information (at that time had been floating around the manosphere for over a decade if not longer) did light a spark in me. I’m forever grateful to Rollo for his book.

As I got further in, I met amazing men such as Hunter Drew, Jack Murphy, Rian Stone, ADJ, Alexander JA Cortes, Ed Latimore, and saw a very good camaraderie and an amazing group of people who were just what I was looking for to help me not only continue to find out who I am, but also, as I morphed into the man today TW Beckett from The Red Pill Dad, I’ve also understood that all of these men, and I do mean all of them, have been through some shit. I came here to learn how to take back control of my life, learn to deal with women after half a lifetime of struggling, and better myself by doing hard things. My journey is mine, and there are parts I share that are difficult, and may show me as less of a man, but I can’t change the past, I can only learn from it.

While I’ve only been on this side of the world or what is called the “manosphere” for a little over a year, I’ve seldom commented on the ongoing beef between the factions. I don’t like it, I think it’s dumb, and I want it to end and all sides come to an agreement, so we can all move on to helping men. In particular, I’ve watched anon accounts throwing bombs at good men who I’ve become friends with without any acknowledgement of their own issues. I hold my tongue often because I know it’s just internet trolls and twitter fucks are a dime a dozen.

I don’t have a dog in this fight, but when good men are run down because of the bullshit they either had to or chose to endure in the past, I have to speak up. Call it white knighting if you must, but these are men I’ve met, I know, are heads of organizations that I am a part of, and wear the scars of their shitty choices every day as warnings to those of us who could be in their situations.

The Test

There is an ongoing purity test in the manosphere that men who’ve endured some shit don’t have the moral chops to lead other men or talk to men about how to be better. If they’ve had a significant other cheat on them, participated in some type of wife swapping or cuckoldry, served time, sells services as a “life coach”, etc. I don’t do any of that shit, and I’ve never had any type of issues with cheating (I’ve cheated many times) but it still stands to reason that every man has a story to tell, has done some things that he isn’t proud of, and learned from those things to come and show men how to endure and get through the tough times to get to where you are today. I appreciate men who show who they are, what happened to them, and what they and I can learn from their experiences. If the manosphere is anything, it’s about men going through hell to get back to taking control of their lives, and if men are buying Rollo’s book, they’re going through hell and have been wronged by a woman at some point.

The purity test comes in when a man’s past is questioned as whether he can lead and motivate other men. I can’t say this enough, EVERY MAN IN THE MANOSPHERE HAS BEEN UNPLUGGED. Every last one. In the many conversations I’ve had with many men, that fact cannot be overstated.

In my personal discussions with many of these men, nothing has come across such as “marry the girl you love”, “she’s the one”, or any other shit like that. Do you know why? Because they’ve all read Rollo. They all know the score. They all have the iron rules memorized. The mistakes they made in the past LED them to unplug and not ever fall for the shit again.

That’s a majority of the manosphere, and men that I talk to on a daily basis tell me that they are glad they’ve found us and that we can help them, but the daily bomb throwing is taking away from the message. But it is what it is.

Whenever you throw a purity test in the mix, whether you’re an anon in the manosphere or a pearl clutching feminist, history has shown again and again that there is no one pure enough. There will always be skeletons in closets that will be red meat for those that think certain people shouldn’t be leading or producing diatribes for one way of life or another. There will always be someone who is more pure, has more of a moral high ground (or so they think) and can throw morality bombs with impunity. The internet adds to this effect because of anonymity. I dare say if most of these trolls showed their real faces, we’d see them as the same broken men that we see talking to us about putting our lives back together.

So far, the purity test of the manosphere that I’ve observed is:

  • don’t have a woman cheat on you and take her back
  • don’t allow your woman to sleep with another man willingly (cuck)
  • don’t go to jail for a petty crime that now involves a legal substance
  • don’t try to sell your advice
  • don’t council men to fall in love, give flowers, show affection or emotion, etc.
  • Can’t or shouldn’t ever raise another man’s kids
  • have a long term marriage with a woman that is in your frame

So far, it looks as if this follows a “purity” test pretty well. We see internet tough guys and anons firing off these tests in rapid succession as a front to those men who wish to help others but shouldn’t because they aren’t “pure”.

If guys are using the above criteria for grading men who are leading this manosphere, no one would pass the smell test.

I pass on almost all of the purity test, except the long term frame stuff, but I’ll get that box checked with flying colors. If we are going to use Rollo and his life as our litmus test, he escaped with his life from a terrible BPD relationship and has raised a daughter and a wife as a leader, exactly the same shit that all of these men teach other men.

We’ll never know the whole story of the beef, but if one side can toss shit at the other and vice versa, we can see the real issues come to a boil in the form of men just not liking each other. Everyone teaches the same stuff, it’s just a matter of time before it all boils up.

Men in need of our help come in all shapes and sizes. They’ve been through the shit of life. They have no idea how to deal with women. And all you are doing by screwing with dudes who are trying to lead and bring up their pasts is hurting the cause that we all believe in, that men can and do take second chances. That’s what the red pill is to a lot of men. A second chance to make better choices with their lives, especially with women.

I don’t condone any of this shit, regardless of what side it comes from. But I do understand that it’s taking away from what we are trying to do here, and it’s not going to change any time soon.

But I also don’t like any men who show their asses to degrade other men, and both sides do it. It’s childish and it’s taking away the important work every man is trying to do.

How in the hell are men supposed to get better when asshats bring up their past mistakes? How are men who’ve participated in cuckoldry, a cheating spouse, or other incidents supposed to get help when they are made fun of at every point to try and degrade their contributions to the ‘sphere?

These are men just like you and I, who’ve made mistakes and are learning from them and taking these dark times and pushing through. If you don’t like it, fine. But the red pill doesn’t care what any man’s been through, it only cares about how to get that man back on his feet.

I stand with those who stand with me, who own their mistakes and refuse to back down in the face of such arrogance and stupidity.

I stand with the men making it happen every day, I stand with those who made mistakes and own up to them, not those the provide an invisible goal that changes every day with how they live their lives. These are men trying to get better, realizing their flaws, and working to make them better.

Hunter Drew and Jack Murphy have done nothing but support me and help me grow in my following. They are fellow fathers who’ve made mistakes and have owned up to them and are trying to help fellow men not make the same mistakes.

I can’t, in good conscience, support people who consistently beat down men who’ve made horrible mistakes, all while trying to promote helping men because of some stupid feud. It’s counter-productive to what we are all about and it’s a masturbatory exercise that only boosts the egos of those who choose that path.

If this means I choose a side, I guess I do.

You should pick on some one your own size, because Hunter Drew and Jack Murphy aren’t even close to you.

Bring it. I’m ready for your ridicule. And I don’t give a flying fuck what you say, it doesn’t affect me in the least. But do so with the caveat that other men are watching you act like children, and are taking notes as to who’s who and who’s on what side.

So add another chump to the mix of your “purple pill” gurus, even though I’m not purple pill and I’m certainly not a guru. My life is on my pages at my blog and you can comb through it to your heart’s content to make fun of me. I don’t raise another man’s kids, I’m no cuck, and I’m not taking back an ex.

The Rational Male was written for guys just like me, Hunter, and Jack. We needed that knowledge in our lives, and we continue to use it every day. It’s not a punch line, it’s a way of life men need. But wrong or right, it’s about acting like you’ve been there.

But I wish I was, because I’m not half the man these guys are, nor will I ever be. They’ve accomplished more than I have, they’ve led men to get their lives back together, and they’ve allowed me to join their ranks and given me great knowledge to help me on my own journey. I’d gladly take these men working to help guys unplug than a meme generator that throws bombs any day.

So you have another “purple pill cuck” to throw bombs at. Block me, talk shit, there’s plenty to make fun of. I make no excuses nor do I hold back on what I’ve been through.

My journey will continue with a few less people on board, but it will be real, it will be open, and it will be unapologetic.

Bring it or grow the fuck up and get to work helping men.

They’re watching all of us.

The Narrative

Photo Credit: Masterfile.com

Ah, Hollywood.

For decades now, the city out west has been trying to define pop culture and change society. Hollywood and it’s products have a larger effect on people than we realize, especially in defining changing roles in the world between the sexes. Hollywood has always been a catalyst for change, but with more and more people watching more and more Netflix, movies, etc, you start to see patterns develop on how Hollywood and the liberal culture that drives it want men and women to behave.

And as a younger man, I fell for it hook, line and sinker. With such a far reaching entity such as this, it’s bound to affect many people with it’s misleading stereotypes as well as it’s fairy tale endings that always seem to work out for everyone involved at just the right time.

When I was terminally single in my 20’s, I always watched a ton of movies and shows that were showing the plight of the single man and how if he just did that one nice thing, a gorgeous woman would drop out of the sky for him, and he would live happily every after.

The sell for TV shows like Friends, movies with Hugh Grant, etc., was that no matter how emasculated a man was, his quirky, funny, and wholeheartedly feminine self would always get the girl in the end, because that’s how it always works, right?

Many of the producers of such shows were either women trying to project what they thought men should be like, or weak willed men who truly believed, as many millions of men before and after them have been raised to believe, that men were supposed to be nice. Niceness, in all of it’s unfettered, unmotivated glory, would get the girl in the end.

I’ve spoken at length on the nice guy phenomenon and how I was just like all those other guys, truly believing that the Hollywood way was the only way, as this was all you ever saw on TV in my time (90’s). Ross Gellar was going to get Rachel. Everyone roots for the underdog. The problem is, like you see in many sports these days, the underdogs don’t win very often because they aren’t the quality of the winners. But where did all of this perpetual bad dating information resonate from?

The “Just Be Yourself” crowd and most of the other feminized sects of TV came from feminism and it’s influences creeping into TV and movies. The real start of this intrusion was in the 90’s, right about the time the male tough guy hero was at his peak and as the ought of the 21st century came around, gone were the tough guys and out of the blue appeared the guys who were quirky, socially awkward, video game nerds who weren’t particularly masculine, but still commanded the female attention because this was how it was supposed to be.

I was a nerd, still am to a certain extent. I had two friends in school and they had no friends. I played Dungeons & Dragons, Magic the Gathering, video games of all shape and size in the 90’s. Generation X, my generation, was the generation that was going to re-define men in to a more pleasing, less conflicted feminism induced shape. And as I was that in spades, I decided to take the Hollywood version of the “Homo Novos” and apply it to my life, with disastrous consequences.

I literally went out into the dating pool with the “poor me” syndrome that permeates modern men and their single lives. Never did I try to learn a new skill, work on improving my life, or even get my whole career in shape. I focused on looking for women and trying to look as pathetic and needy as I could. Because that was what I was shown would work. Any woman I had any remote interest in, I would decide to be as nice as I could and my misery was the focus of my life. These miserable guys? On TV they would always be in a scene where they’re at the grocery store with sad music playing, pining for their “one”. And their “one” would feel sorry for them and come running. This is how it was!

Was I weak? Hell yes I was. But it wasn’t like the single man narrative was changing outside of the glowing electric box. Everyone in my world believed the same things I did. My friends, family, co-workers, every damn man I knew believed the same things I did. The ones that didn’t? The ones that never watched the crap. They were too busy winning football games, fighting the enemy on foreign shores, and cutting down trees into firewood.

As I no longer watch much TV or movies, I have been peeking in recently to see what Hollywood continues to try and sell men, and quite frankly, it hasn’t changed at all and if anything, this behavior has gotten much more ingrained into the male psyche.

The story’s the same. Man pines for any woman in his life, flash to him carrying a basket in the grocery store, sad music. It keeps replaying like a bad film with no audience, but the narrative has to continue to be pushed.

A man’s goal is not a woman, but watch any movie or TV show, and you see a man working towards that goal. The two dimensional place holder guys who are just there to prop up the “strong female lead” play the same role in every last movie they’re in. Men are secondary, females lead. Not at all how life was intended, but muh feminism.

I think of the movie “Rocky” and how all the narratives need to fall the way that one does. His woman was an afterthought in that movie. The goal was to win. The goal was to get better. The goal was to train.

The ultimate goal for any man should be what’s in his best interest. Whether it’s taking down terrorists to save the world, fighting an opponent in the ring, or finding out who the hell he is and loving that person, regardless, the whole fairy tale that Hollywood indeed gift wraps in a crap sandwich every month is a WOMAN’S fairy tale.

Every story that floats down the crapper water coming out of Los Angeles every week is a female’s wet dream. Men have no place in it except as breeding stock or arm candy. And it’s not as if women have had a chance to have better ideas, they just chose not to use them and instead pined for the days when they could be the “men” in the story.

And here, they now have it, and like clockwork, the feminization of media continues, but it’s not what women expected.

Nope, instead of getting billions of dollars for a new remake of the female version of Die Hard, they are getting shit canned by the American public, a group tired of listening to the tired wails coming from the place that used to be a magical town that defined masculinity in actors such as Cary Grant, Sean Connery, and John Wayne, and femininity in actresses like Katherine Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, and Grace Kelly.

Instead, it’s the narrative that drives Hollywood now. And as we saw earlier this year with “Joker”, Hollywood hates men, but men still sell, and sell very well, and will continue to sell. Production companies aren’t selling a product as much as they are trying to push a way of life, but unlike in the decades before, this way of life is turning off a majority of the American public.

The bottom line of this and every other story that’s come out of that town is what makes money will ultimately win over. Why a flick with a strong male lead is a dying breed is a feminist wet dream, but the strong male lead will continue to be successful.

And men aren’t going anywhere.

Get Away From the Box

So, that begs the question, what can we do?

Well, my biggest issue that I had to overcome was to recognize the crap and get the garbage out of my life. The narrative can’t be disseminated if it’s not being watched.

So turn the damn thing off.

The best part about my life is that I’m not shaped by the events on an electronic screen. And I appreciate that my views are no longer influenced by a device that has no interest in my life, only my money and my time.

When you start to realize that none of the FICTION that is produced in those studios have any relevance in your life, you’ll look forward to making your own movie, under your own direction, about the triumph that your life truly is.

I really wish that I would’ve discovered this sooner in my life, because my ignorance got the best of me and my real beliefs that this was how the world really was drove me into my marriage and my fake life until 4 years ago.

Unplugging isn’t just about taking responsibility for your life, it’s truly about unplugging from all devices that give you a false sense of what’s really going on out there. It really is the Matrix, because it’s developed by people with an agenda that really don’t care about you or your problems, but want to spread a belief or behavior that they wholeheartedly endorse.

Taking responsibility for your life begins with accepting what is real and what isn’t. And a narrative parroted on TV isn’t real life.

It never was.

The Chasm

Photo Credit: Suicide in Judaism

Four years ago this week, one of my good friends from college ended his life.

He was having a huge custody dispute with his ex-wife after she cheated on him with one of his friends. He was fighting for visitation rights for his two kids after he and his ex got into a fight and he was arrested and slapped with a restraining order. He had struggled for over a year with the divorce proceedings, losing his cool time and time again and seeing less and less of his kids.

So, the great equalizer, so he thought, was breaking in to his ex-wife’s apartment on a cold December Sunday and blowing his brains out in her dining room.

I can’t be sure of why he acted with such horrendous judgement. I can’t be sure that he was tired of the process and had no where to turn. He was alone, fighting for his kids, and getting kicked and punched in a metaphorical sense by the courts and his ex, so it seems plausible. He was looking for a symbolic gesture, the ultimate “fuck you” to his ex. I can’t put myself in his situation, although I’ve seen similar things happen to men, but I can’t possible fathom what he was thinking that terrible Sunday.

The story that seems to stick from his family and friends is that he was going to “make an example to his ex”.

What ended up happening was nothing like he planned.

His ex, after the initial shock, quietly called the police, had them clean up the mess, fake mourned with the kids, and resumed her life. Everything this horribly symbolic gesture he thought was supposed to get out of her, regret, sadness, misery, being lost, pining for him to come back, didn’t transpire. She cashed the life insurance check, went to the funeral, and then went on with her life.

That’s cold shit. But it’s also fucking reality.

The bottom line in this sad situation is that the only people affected by his selfish act were his kids, who don’t have a dad anymore, and his family, who are without a brother, uncle, and son.

The harsh truth: His ex didn’t give a flying fuck about his death.

His family has suffered for years this time of year because he decided to make a life ending decision. Instead of a holiday filled with happy times with him, his family mourns every year over the loss of this man.

And there lies the crux of why men are doing these terrible things to themselves.

Suicide in the United States is quickly becoming an epidemic. 7 out of 10 suicides are men. These men are similar in mindset to my friend. They feel they have to struggle with life’s problems alone, lest they be ridiculed and made to feel inferior for not dealing with their problems “like a man”. These men don’t go to therapy, as they think it makes them look weak, won’t solve their problems, or is a taboo brought down by other men who “have their lives together.” Society in general wants men to grow up and deal with their problems, but they give them absolutely no road map on how to accomplish that.

I’m sure, never in his wildest fantasies about his suicide, would he have imagined his ex coming in, taking a mop and bucket to his mess, wiping the walls with a wash cloth, and moving on with her life. Raw, isn’t it? It’s a messed up situation that he was hoping would end in his ex crying on his remains. But his story, just like all the others, ends the same. He’s not here anymore by his own hand. A selfish act intended to make a huge point ends up only costing some drywall, carpet, and bleach.

The chasm, or the breach that he was looking into, was one of symbolism, pain, hardship, and hopelessness that many men face everyday. But the issue here that I’m getting at is what they think they are doing by sacrificing their lives for some unknown principle, belief, or slight against someone, doesn’t even affect that person most of the time.

Men who feel they have no where to turn will often take their own lives because they lack any sort of out for their overwhelming feelings of depression. Many don’t want to go to therapy, join a men’s group, or talk to a religious leader because they fear they will look weak, be ridiculed, or have their dirty laundry aired to the congregation during Sunday brunch.

So they double down on doing the things they were doing that weren’t working to get out of the hole they’re in. Their feelings of potential embarrassment about being “broken” or needing help override their very real need to seek out professional or group help.

Don’t Be Afraid to Get Help

As I write this, I think about my own denial about getting help for my issues, until I actually broke down and went to a therapist. While therapy is STILL to this day looked down upon as being weak for men to do by society, it was the greatest thing that I have ever done. Not only did it help me get out of a tailspin of a marriage, it also got me my life back. It got me through the depression and rock bottom parts of my divorce where I was contemplating doing the same damn thing my friend did 4 years ago.

I got help, and I’m here today to tell men once again that getting help from someone, any one, will save your lives. But you have to reach out. Trust me, the help is there. I’ve found a men’s fraternity that has given me new life and more help than I could ever imagine. These new fraternities or men’s groups have the potential to help men so much. Therapy and talking to a neutral party can help a man get out the shit that’s weighing him down and making him suffer. The times are changing, but men’s problems are still the same. There are many outlets for you to grow and get better, but it starts with you getting over the idea that you, yourself, can get out of this mess. If you could, you wouldn’t be in it any more.

The chasm that many men face is too daunting, too difficult, too dark to try and traverse. So they give up and fall in. What they don’t see, what they never see, is the bridge just off in the distance, or the chasm closing a few miles down, or the path down the chasm that takes them to the other side with a little bit of work. Their vantage point is one of hopelessness, only seeing where they are standing at that point in time, looking down at their feet and the endless below. They can’t see, or perhaps don’t want to see, the whole picture because it doesn’t fit in their narration of how their life tragically ends. They put an emphatic period on their story by falling into the chasm without even stopping to think who it will affect, how, and why.

She Doesn’t Care

This brings me to the other issue of this blog post, that of the why. Many, many men commit suicide over a woman in their life. They see that she’s cheated on them, so just like my friend, their great equalizer is supposed to be a tragic death throe as their ex dives at them in horror at what they’ve done.

Let me be blunt guys.

The only women that you’re hurting when you pull the trigger are the women in your family. They’ve lost a son because he couldn’t get over a girl who easily got over him. Your sacrifice doesn’t mean SHIT to any girl that you feel it will. Your ex-wife or girlfriend doesn’t care about you killing yourself because of her. She’s already rid of you and all you’ve done is pointlessly, selfishly, ended your life to see what she’ll do.

You won’t fucking see it because you’ll be DEAD.

Many men don’t think any of this through when jaded by a lover or ex.

They just pull the trigger.

The pain of your loss won’t be felt by anyone except those that love you. You are selfishly stealing years away from them because you can’t handle the fact that a woman cheated on you, or left you. This is where you precisely need to “man up”.

Go to therapy, unplug and take control of your life instead of letting a woman with no interest make you do terrible things to yourself.

Crossing the Chasm

I miss my friend. I miss him every day. I miss him even more now knowing that I didn’t reach out like I should have, but even if I had, I don’t think he would’ve taken my help. What can men do to help? What can men do who are struggling? How can they cross the chasm?

I will recommend to men exactly what I did.

First, recognize you have a problem and you can’t solve said problem without help. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to reach out if you’re struggling. How will you overcome obstacles if you don’t have help?

I think of it like my Spartan career. When I trifecta’d in 2016, I needed a team of people to help me overcome obstacles. Sure, the ones I did alone made me feel like a bad ass, but still, I needed help with a wall, the rope climb, or a traverse wall, I had to have another man help me out. No shame in admitting that, nor is there shame in accepting the help. I still got my medal and my t-shirt, and I did it with teamwork. The same goes the other way. You can help others who need it by reaching out and asking them how they truly are, how their life is going, and where their hangups are.

Men have to realize that ANY chasm is not an impossible task. There are bridges, other people, and choke points that will get you across. You just have to believe. Just like lack of belief is strong in determining if a man will take his own life, the reverse can help save it. If a man knows there are ways out of his situation, he will be more willing to trudge on and fight. It’s when that belief doesn’t exist that he will spiral down into telling himself it’s hopeless.

It’s not hopeless, gentlemen.

It’s never hopeless.

I’m a shining example of what can be done if you truly reach out for help. I’ve only gained in my masculinity and my manhood by asking other men to help me achieve things in my own life.

Guys, if you are struggling with thoughts of suicide and depression in your life, the first thing you have to do is recognize the problem. The second thing you need to do is seek help from either a therapist, religious leader, or a men’s group of like minded men. The third? Action.

These things alone will help pull you from the chasm and get your life back on track. But be prepared to understand that it’s still on YOU and that you must take these steps to get your life back. The men can help you on the path, but you still have to take the steps to make it happen. Accountability and tough love are in for you, because you aren’t special, your problems are the problems of many other men, and a greater man can overcome these problems with relative ease compared to you.

You can’t just float and hope the wind blows. You still have to take positive, real ACTION for your life to get better. That’s the way it is and that’s the way it will always be. But the sooner you take action to pull yourself away from the chasm, the quicker your life will become a special work of art that has meaning to you again.

Guys, suicide and depression are real problems. I’m not going to pretend they don’t exist. But you have to reach out and get help. You have to accept you have a problem, you have to accept that you need help, and you have to accept the action needed to be taken by you to get past this.

Don’t be a statistic like my friend. I miss him every day. His family misses him. He took his life because of issues he couldn’t get over. He didn’t ask for help. He is no longer here. Please, please reach out for help.

My DM’s are always open on Twitter. My email is bubonicplague7@gmail.com. Reach out for help. I’m here for you.

The Single Mom Dating Dilemma

At 43 and single, I’m finding many of the dates I’m having with women in their 30’s and 40’s are with women who are single mothers. This was going to be inevitable as I am trying to date as many different women as I can all while getting to know who I am, what I like, gaining experience in dating all types of women.

So it goes without saying that dating single mothers is extremely complicated. Many women are not choosing to be single mothers on purpose, so you have to be aware that there are major reasons why they are single. From reasons like a boring marriage or lack of sex to more serious issues such as spousal abuse, drug addiction, or adultery, these women have been through some serious stuff and for many, it has scarred them for a very long time, if not for life.

Many of those women have major trust issues, lack of sexual appetite due to major abuse or trauma, and are embittered by their exes’ lack of commitment to them in their time of need. Plus, on top of this, you have a society that empowers single mothers to be victims all while shaming and berating men who had nothing to do with the situation. Add in the State as a third party to the marriage and you have the makings of a giant dumpster fire.

There’s a huge stigma in the manosphere about single mothers and with very good reason. Many of them are damaged, bitter, and just plain unpleasant. There are men like Rich Cooper and others that are leading the charge against single mothers as damaged, not worth your time, and swearing off on them altogether. And with all the terrible examples out there of women who have taken their situations out on everyone else but themselves, it stands to reason that some of those assumptions that Rich makes are correct. He’s right about many single mothers who become almost militant feminists in a crusade against men. He’s right about the sense of entitlement in single motherhood and I’ve seen it first hand in the dating world. There is a noticeable amount of women who act this way, and Rich is correct to warn men about them. They aren’t looking for a complete relationship with another man. They’re looking for a meal ticket, a support check, or are ready to manipulate an unsuspecting man who is looking for sex and letting thirst drive his needs.

While my endorsement of Rich will no doubt get me some blowback from the other side of the manosphere, I will tell you that while I agree with him on many things about single mothers, it’s a bit more complicated, especially as a man who’s currently in the dating pool full tilt and is seeing these things every day. What am I saying?

I’m saying it’s not all cut and dry, black and white, solid 100%. There are many types of single mothers out there and while many are absolutely monstrous, I can attest that there are just as many that are wonderful people. So what’s the difference? The difference is the amount of responsibility they take for their lives. Let me explain.

The Camps

I put these women into 4 camps. Camp 1 is the worst of the worst. Feminists, militants, anti-men who blame everything else on their lots in life. These are the moms who get triggered by doing anything remotely having to do with pleasing a man, instead blaming all men for their ex’s terrible behavior. Camp 2 is women who are less militant but still have a very clear bias towards men and especially their exes, blaming them for all the unfortunate things that have happened to them, but not all the way to man hatey status. Camp 3 are women who have softened and are accepting the fact that they can’t continue to blame men and their exes for issues. They have taken a certain amount of responsibility for the directions of their lives and are trying to get out of the tailspin that the lack of blame for themselves had put them in. And finally, Camp 4 is the reformed, feminine single mom. She’s not making excuses, pulled up her big girl pants, and has completed herself in a flourishing manner. She also won’t put any blame on anyone anymore, and also won’t deal with weak-minded men either.

The type of men that these women will search for is inversely proportional to which camp they belong to. In short, weaker men (betas) tend to gravitate towards the 1st and 2nd camps, where the 3rd and 4th get more mature, masculine men. Also, time is a huge factor in moving from 1st to 4th camps. Generally, the longer the time span from her being “wronged”, the more accepting she is of her circumstances and her faults in that choice.

Also, to no one’s surprise, women in the first two camps are usually more liberal than the last two. Camps 3 and 4 are learning more about personal responsibility and have let time hone them a bit, so they tend to be more feminine and conservative.

Camps 1 and 2 tend to look for weaker men to support them and their feminist crusade against the bad men that hurt them.

Camps 3 and 4 tend to look at themselves as independent and don’t blame. They look for men who are complete as they complete themselves.

Why do they go to these camps?

Many of these women married their alphas who rang their bell knowing that they were trying to change him. When they knew they couldn’t change him, they suffered through while enabling him for the sake of the kids or the marriage. They suffered through abuse, cheating, or worse.

Many women who are single mothers have endured emotional or physical trauma for this choice. But something kept them in the relationship. Maybe hypergamy, maybe sex, maybe duty, maybe something. But it’s kept them there too long and they struggle with why they couldn’t make him the way they wanted him because they were so hot for him.

Now, they are looking for a man for a meal ticket, a father to raise kids that aren’t his, or worse, both. I don’t recommend any man signing up for this if the woman EXPECTS him to help her raise the kids or provide money for her and this family.

They also feel like they have to blame other things besides themselves in order to overcome this hiccup. They overcompensate with being born again virgins, becoming radicalized feminists, focusing on their careers, or trying to wed a beta guy to try and show that their choice wasn’t the issue, it was the man and only the man. No amount of voodoo or choice is going to change the fact that she did indeed make that decision to sleep with, marry, have kids with, and enable the man she now blames for her lot in life.

The bottom line is owning a choice. Many single mothers refuse to believe that they had anything to do with the life they chose, that that life was thrust upon them as they were just in love and trying to make it work. It follows on the feminist line that women are infallible, incapable of bad things, and can’t be held responsible for their actions, which is horse shit.

It stems from a liberal, victimhood mentality that permeates the single mothers of our Western society. But I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t permeate them all. It doesn’t. There are good ones out there. I will explain.

NAMALT (Not All Moms Are Like That)

Where I split with some of the manosphere regulars is what I’ve found in the dating world. There are moms out there, good, hard-working moms, who are complete and wonderful. In my limited 3 years experience, I’ve found the rule more than the exception obviously, but I will say that I have gotten into relationships with good women who really were “wrong place, wrong time” types of women. They were dedicated, feminine, and supportive. They took responsibility for their lives. They didn’t let their single mom status divert them from trying to be successful. Many of them are conservative-minded and very family-oriented, yet also independent in accepting and overcoming their disadvantages. They have a man to raise their kids, their dad, or if they don’t, they aren’t relying on a man to raise them. They raise them on their own and don’t expect you to jump in and help, or worse, rely on you as a meal ticket.

While any “red pill cred” I had left with the manosphere may diminish by me saying that NAMALT, it’s something that I’ve actually witnessed in the trenches of dating. And as much as I agree with parts of the red pill argument, I still have to report what I see, honestly and upfront.

While we see some of the worse offenders through Rich Cooper, Rollo and others, we don’t see the success stories that I see, so that’s why I write this blog today.

So, gents, it’s up to you. If you don’t want to date single mothers, don’t. I’m not telling you to do it anyway. You have every right to live your life and date who you want. But I’m telling you that through my dating experiences, there are good ones out there, feminine, man-loving, good-hearted, supportive, beautiful mothers out there.

Hopefully, with this blog post, I can both assure men and also make them aware of the good, bad and ugly of the single mom world. Because there are ton of the last two with our society standing by as a willing accomplice.

But trust your gut and know that the good ones are out there. They are worth it.

A Letter to My Ex-Wife

Jill,

I know this letter is a long time in the making. I know that I haven’t explained fully what I decided to file for divorce against you. I know that there are many unanswered questions. I’m hoping to help answer some of those in this letter. This is a letter explaining it all.

It explains why I left.

It explains what I’ve learned.

It explains what I now believe.

It explains my new life and your place in it.

Let’s begin.

When I woke up almost 5 years ago, on a cold February night, and told you I wanted a divorce, it wasn’t because of you. True, you had your faults, I won’t go into them in this letter, but I will at least give you one token.

The man you married wasn’t the man I am now.

You were sold a bill of goods that wasn’t what you signed up for.

The man you thought you married was a man created by all the people in my life. It was a fictitious character, one invented by family, friends, and acquaintances, a robot designed to be a happiness machine.

It wasn’t me. I was a timid yes man. Someone who was trying to gain approval from everyone by doing everything they wanted and nothing for himself. I was playing a role that was designated by my family as something that I “had” to do. Something I was “supposed” to be.

That man you married who was all smiles the day I said “I do” was not real. He was all parts of all people who he had determined was the best of all worlds. He was trying to put himself into a mold that would never fit him, all because he was trying to act out on the stage of life, starring as the happily married, oafish husband who was a good man and did what everyone told him.

You see, men like me have lost their way. My generation, including my countless friends and acquaintances, were told by the generation before us that we had to play this role. We were told to be family men. We were told to get a job, buy a car, have kids, have a wife, and live the white picket fence dream that they did. However, they aren’t living that dream either. It’s a farce.

Many want the dream. Many don’t. I wanted something more. I wanted “me” back.

We can be all these things, but if it’s not on our terms, then it isn’t real. We let others decide our paths in life, we don’t stand up and say “STOP!” as soon as possible. We are just herded into the life that others want.

5 years ago, I decided to say “STOP!”

This wasn’t the life I wanted. It was the life they wanted. It was the life you, my ex-wife wanted.

I failed you. I didn’t keep my promises. And I know that deeply hurt you. And for that, I am eternally sorry.

But that man that you saw on your wedding day wasn’t the real Tim. The real Tim had to emerge through 3 years of therapy. The real Tim wanted his life back because this wasn’t what he signed up for. This is what he was TOLD he was supposed to do.

And, rather than possibly let down all the people in my life, I played the role.

I played it so well, I forgot who the hell I was. I needed a jolt to get me back to my senses. All of this life was a lie and unfortunately, you were a part of it.

I’m not taking the fall for the bad marriage. I’m taking the fall for the man I was when we got married because he wasn’t real. Just like you have told me that the person I married wasn’t the real you, the same thing applies to me.

I’m not taking the fall for the sexlessness in our marriage. I’m taking the fall for the man who didn’t know shit about what he was doing.

I’m not taking the fall for the listlessness of our kids and our unhappiness. I’m taking the fall for not discovering who I really was sooner and being a real, unapologetic version of Tim Beckett.

You’ll read this and debate in your head what truly could’ve been if we’d both been the real versions of ourselves, I know. But we can’t change the past, so we must change our presents and forge ahead to a good future, knowing now that we have finally accepted who we really are and the fantastic relationship that has emerged from accepting this reality.

Our kids are happier, we are happier, our families have finally accepted our decisions and they are happier for us, regardless of their personal feelings.

I couldn’t have asked for a better co-parent. Instead of taking feelings of bitterness, anger, and resentment out of me and our kids, you instead took the whole thing in stride, decided to be an adult, and worked with me on raising two beautiful daughters. You’re an amazing mother and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.

Photo credit: Verywell Family

I decided on that fateful February day to change my life because that life wasn’t mine. Nor was it yours. It was like a painting that everyone enjoyed except those that were in it. We were the picture of happiness but when life was applied to it, it was anything but happy.

So I broke us out. I did us a favor. Instead of a journey of unhappiness, depression, and the problems that would arise from it, I decided to take back control. In the short term, it promised some issues, but in the long term, as you have witnessed first-hand, it’s blossoming into an amazing situation.

Selfish? Probably. Thoughtless? Hardly. Three years of taking stock, thinking about the direction of my life, and the consequences of my actions boiled up inside me and blasted out on the cold, winter night. I know you didn’t understand it then.

I know you understand it now.

Many in our family were and now are supportive. Many aren’t. To those that aren’t, there’s a reason you aren’t apart of our lives anymore. You refused to accept the real me. You wanted me to be apart of your ideals. I refuse to live by anyone’s terms except my own.

And that’s where I am now, Jill. I’m living on my own. I’m living the life I want to live in. I’m creating great opportunities and decisions that I will own. They are mine.

You know now that instead of trying to lead a hapless family by default because I didn’t care, you now have a MAN, a LEADER, a DECISION MAKER, and a FATHER who loves his kids and will do anything for them.

You know now that you can count on me at any time to support you, whereas before you weren’t sure and doubted me all the time.

You know now my STRENGTH is unwavering. And you also know that I am taking good care of myself so that I will be there as a ROCK for as long as I can stand, walk, run, lift, and fight. My dying breath will be there as the foundation of this new family unit, not as the doting, do nothing complainer who never took action during our nuptials.

You know now that this Tim is the REAL, UNAPOLOGETIC Tim, one that makes the rules of his life, has boundaries, and does things not because of hopeful acceptance, but because he demands it of himself and chooses these paths for the betterment of himself and by association, his family.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. My cup is no longer empty. It contains ENERGY for years to help our family grow, sustain, and thrive.

So, enjoy the fruits of my acceptance of the real me. The real Tim will continue to provide and lead this family into the future. The past is in the past, my mistakes are mine and I own them. You may never own yours, but it doesn’t matter now. What matters is that we are both on the road that WE choose. Our paths now walk beside our kids in seeing them grow to be amazing, well-adjusted adults, all while making decisions based on what WE want in OUR lives.

The man you’ve met and who is proposing to you on your cruise is a good man. He’s an amazing father and Mike will be a great step-father to our kids. He’s become a great friend as well to me. I welcome him and his kids to our family with open arms. It takes all kinds to make a world, and we are a very special, very diverse family that I am proud to be associated with.

You are very special to me and you will always be a part of my life as the mother of my children. Know that I will be there to make sure they are LED by a masculine, strong, proud man who is honored to be their father.

I will always love you,

Tim

Bring It In

Photo Credit: LittleLeague.com

When I was a kid, I played a ton of sports including soccer, baseball, and football. And I’ve coached my fair share of sports with my two daughters. One of the things that you experience in these environments is the thrill of competition, the camaraderie of the team with its different strengths and weaknesses, as well as the personalities that permeate the team to try to make it a cohesive, successful unit.

Before and after each practice as well as before and after each game, I would remember the coaches yelling to all the kids “BRING IT IN” when they had something to discuss with the team. And as I grew into coaching my youngsters, I did the same thing. When you bring the team in, you have them huddle around you for some advice, some strategy, some wisdom, and some planning. Everyone on the team comes in close, watches the coach and listens. This is the main time that a coach truly bonds with his team as well as the time the team gets the coach to have a good discussion about why they’re all there, and what they all must do to succeed. Unless you’re coaching toddlers, then they are eating bugs, crying, or picking their noses. It’s really like herding cats.

The whole point of the gathering on the field, sidelines, or in the dugout, is to get the team focused, either assess or re-assess the situations and identify problems or issues during practice to work on, as well as getting all the team to understand concepts that they’re either to work on or did well.

It’s a tiny lecture hall outside that everyone can get on the same page, pull back from the action of practice to have an honest discussion about what worked, what didn’t, and how to move forward. It gives the team and coaches a chance to reflect on practice and games and what they did well, as well as what didn’t work. Each player takes time to assess their own strengths and weaknesses all while analyzing what takeaways there were from each play. What were the key plays? What hurt us? What helped us?

Today’s blog entry is about “Bringing It In”. What does it mean in context to you trying to get control of your life? Read on to understand.

Credit: soccertoday.com

Simplify, Don’t Overreach

So what does this have to do with life in general? Well, in my life, I had to assess my current situation. I was a mess. All over the place. Many things are unfinished not only in my home and my work but also in things that were undone in my side hustle. Podcasts, interviews, writing my book, I needed to focus. My finances were a mess as well. Everything wasn’t completed, laying about and I was flailing. So I decided to take control.

First were my finances. What are you paying for that you don’t necessarily need right now? Subscriptions that you have for stuff you don’t watch. Paying for games on your phone you don’t play. Services you don’t use.

Get rid of that stuff. Then, when you get your finances back, you can then truly identify good services versus bad. What are you using? What can you live without? There are short term cuts I made as well as long term cuts that will save me more money. My debit card got stolen so as I was looking at my figures, I truly realized it was death by 1000 cuts in terms of expenses. Strangely enough, thinking all of this clearing would be difficult, it only took a 20-minute assessment and a few phone calls and clicks of my mouse to be cleared of some much needed monthly revenue that I could use to pay my debt. Clear the clutter.

Then my job. So many unfollowed leads, so many unanswered emails, so many voicemails. Get to them all and get them out of the way. Then, when your phone rings, answer it. When you get an email, reply promptly. Get rid of all of your junk mail. Drop your to-do pile in the dust and fix the other piles on your desk. Clear the clutter.

Next was my home. So many projects undone, clothes piling up, dishes, errands that had to be run. I had drywall to repair, toilets to fix, lights to install, and other items. When I first moved in 4 years ago, I let the stuff sit while I hoped my life would get better. All of a sudden, one day, I decided to get up and get it done and my life, surprisingly enough, got better. Less to do when I got home meant more to do on things I loved. Clear the clutter.

My side hustle has been a mess. Keeping up on podcast episodes I didn’t feel were meeting the standards meant shutting it down to re-tool. I stopped writing for Youtube, Twitter and other aspects, when what I really needed to do what write and write a lot. I needed to clear my head and focus on what was really important to me, the written word. I have a book I’m working on, so I needed to drop back and punt on all the other crap I was trying to take care of. Clear the clutter.

Jordan Peterson’s first rule is “clean your room”, and it really hits home how much it really does help you clear not only the spaces in your life but also in your mind. It’s amazing how many things can get built up, not managed and can just flat out overwhelm you. Powerlessness is never a good feeling and if there is one thing I mention over and over again in my blogs and on my Twitter (@TW_Beckett) is that to truly start to improve your life, you need to have your finger on every button in it, watching it carefully and making sure you are making moves with nothing hindering you.

So I’m bringing it in. I’m hitting pause, stepping back, assessing my goals, strengths, and weaknesses and then moving forward in a direction that I know will be the most beneficial for me.

Always Be Recalibrating

Life can get out of control. You can spread yourself too thin. Your expenses get out of control. You have too much on your plate. Too many irons in the fire dulls the heat.

One thing that I was guilty of was always diving in headfirst before figuring out if this particular path would be a good idea and how would it be beneficial to me. As a recovering nice guy, I would plow forward to help people without regarding my own feelings. This was a recipe for disaster. I sometimes slip back into that thinking, but with my new conditioning, I tend to catch myself very quickly before falling back into old ways. But it still does happen. You have to always be recalibrating your life to make sure you are getting the most out of it and doing the most to try and improve it. The problem? Most men don’t do this and when something bad happens, they look around for organized mobility and get nothing but a crap sandwich. Don’t get caught with a mess on your hands.

As many of you know, my current life path reflects this blog and my thoughts are written down as quickly as I can get pen to paper. This was on my mind last night and this morning I have taken steps to unclutter my life and prepare for a better future.

Many men feel the task of cleaning up is so daunting that they leave the mess and you see it from the way they carry themselves to the way they work to the way they live. They are suffering from this heavy burden of not doing the work to get things cleaned up and it weighs them down. I know because I was one of those men. After things out of your control destroy your life, the only thing many men do is just look around, survey the damage and say “fuck it” and either move on or stay stuck. The men who prosper are those who refuse to let any setback define them. Clear the clutter.

Like a coach at the end of practice asks the players to “bring it in”, you must stop all the business and activity to assess your own life. Take all of it in. Remove that which weighs you down. Is this adding value to my life? Or is it an unnecessary burden? Addition by subtraction.

So get to work clearing the clutter of your own life.

And always stay vigilant to how you can continue to improve your life all while clearing the clutter and making moves to establish yourself.

It’s your life, clean it up.

GetFitLiving.com

In honor of Veteran’s day, this week on my blog, I’ll be promoting veterans and their products.

Today is a man whom I recently had the pleasure of meeting in person. @GFL_Colton

He’s ex-army and has an amazing exercise apparel company: getfitliving.com.

GetFitLiving.com

Colton has done amazing things himself, losing a ton of weight and getting into shape. His company has all types of athletic shirt apparel, from hoodies to tank tops to t-shirts. You’ll hit your fitness goals and hit them while looking great in his stuff.

Please consider supporting this Army man in his mission. He provides top-quality athletic apparal.

The Family Alpha and The Fraternity of Excellence

In honor of Veteran’s day, this week on my blog, I’ll be promoting veterans and their products.

Today is a man I consider a huge mentor in my life, Hunter Drew.

He’s an amazing presence on this side of the internet and has and continues to do so much for so many men.

His website, thefamilyalpha.com, is a fantastic resource for men looking to turn their lives around and learn about what it takes to be masculine.

And his organization, The Fraternity of Excellence, is a proud group of great men working together to help other men, hold each other accountable, and support men in their journies.

Please consider supporting this Navy man in his mission. He provides so much for men to make themselves better.

As a member of FoE, I have nothing but amazing stories of men who’ve reached out to me, and men that I’ve reached out to.