The Bitch is Back

Photo Credit: Make Him Yours

So a very recent phenomenon has happened to me a few times in the past couple of months and I couldn’t resist the chance to write about it.

About eight months ago, I was sitting in a local coffee shop working on my blog when I got a good IOI looking up from my computer of a HB 7 typing away on her laptop in the same vicinity.

I approached, sat down, and started talking to her. We hit it off pretty well. She was one of my very first approaches.

I closed and got her number. I called her and we set up a date.

As the date got closer, she contacted me and abruptly cancelled. Really no explanation except she was “really busy with work.”

But we all know what that means in fem-speak. She was spinning plates. And it’s okay for her to do that.

The old me would not have understood that. But we’re in Red Pill me time now.

I never heard from her again. Until…

Just recently, I had posted a updated workout pic as I am working very hard to improve my physique. Low and behold, I get a text from her.

“So how are you?”

Of course, my first text was, “who is this?” (I knew, but I also knew why she was texting)

“It’s Trish. I was thinking about you, wanted to see what you were up to.”

I replied coldly, “Doing my thing. What can I do for you?”

“Well, I was wanting to see if you wanted to meet up and get some coffee sometime.” she weakly stammered.

I responded directly. “I appreciate the offer, however, I really don’t make it a habit of going out with girls who cancel dates and never return texts or calls.”

She tried to apologize, but I wasn’t having it. I cut her off and said my goodbyes.

Anatomy of a Bandwagon Bitch

This whole situation was thought provoking for two reasons:

  1. If this was the old me, I would’ve gone out with her in a split second and,
  2. This was a textbook example of what the manosphere is always preaching about with hypergamy.

So before we go into the two issues above, let’s analyze the woman who was doing this above.

She’s 28, brunette, business professional. She’s hot enough to have 20-30 orbiters around her at all times for validation and ego enhancement. She won’t stay in one place for very long, having a ton of casual sex but not owning up to it, and when she does have a relationship, it lasts at most a few months. In a word, she’s “flighty.”

In her hummingbird world, there will always be a better man. Until there isn’t. In the female game of musical chairs just before her epiphany phase, she’s hedging her bets to get the best possible “beta bucks” all while having her last flings with alphas that she hopes to “change” before she hits the wall.

Women like this are fighting the inevitable, trying desperately to keep the epiphany phase at bay. But as we all know, the check comes due sooner rather than later.

Why Now?

Which is why I wasn’t the least bit surprised when this particular girl was coming up on my phone.

From eight months ago until now, I have improved my wardrobe, lost 20 pounds, and have been steadily improving my approaching, confidence, and demeanor. So I was at least aware of the possibility of this happening, however, what got me thinking was the TYPES of women who were coming back trying to “give me the pleasure of having her in her life” as one Bandwagon Bitch put it.

The few that have come crawling back try to trick themselves into thinking they aren’t crawling at all. As with all female solipsism examples like casual sex that doesn’t count or the universe representing only her views, they feel like now I’m “good enough” to include in their “spectacular” lives.

But the old me wouldn’t have figured this out. I would’ve been happy if a HB 7 came calling at all, and would’ve done all I could do to make it work, even when she cheated on me years later because she’s bored.

The societal landscape has changed.

These are single women essentially acting like single men. And we as a society are okay with that.

But as we shun single men because they “refuse” to settle down or “grow up”, we celebrate single women as powerful because they don’t do that. We aren’t empowering females by encouraging them to act like males, we’re killing the woman that lies naturally within her, cutting off nourishment.

The consequences of such a paradigm shift are starting to show.

As we are seeing more and more, there’s buyer’s remorse from betas on their flighty wives, post wall women regretting they didn’t have kids or live the life of a woman, and lonely middle aged feminists looking for men to “man up, grow a pair” and take on them and their kids.

But like I said, there’s a new me in town.

I chose not to fall for the bull, and as with most things in the manosphere, knowledge is power, and she played right into obscurity.

Don’t Fall For It

The reason the manosphere talks so much about things like this is that they DO happen. And this is just another example of it. Knowing what to look for and how to avoid it can only help you achieve a level of awareness that will keep you focused when a girl of better attributes does enter your life.

However, the most disturbing thing about this is that, somewhere, at some point, some guy will take the bait and be stuck with this nightmare. And those are the men that I’m trying to reach everyday. They must not make this mistake, or they’re in for a world of hurt.

So as you’re working on your quality, be mindful that some girl you’ve approached or been intimate with is watching you and will be in touch again because you’re better than you were.

And without hesitation, please show this “Bandwagon Bitch” the door.

If she doesn’t like you when you’re at your worst, she doesn’t deserve you at your best.

Men In Love

Credit:  WebMD

This is Part 2 of my “Men In” series:

There she is.  That girl you can’t get out of your head.  Great body, long blond hair, great smile, blue eyes, nice tits, sweet personality, everything you ever wanted.  She’s all you can think about.  You haven’t asked her out yet, but you see her every day at work, or every week at the gym, or this month at your friend’s get together.  She’s perfection to you.  She can do no wrong.  

She’s the girl of your dreams. 

Congrats, you have what we in the Manosphere call “oneitis“, or an obsession with one particular girl, or what some in the beta male would would classify as love.  It’s portrayed as a man’s reason for living, and most plugged in men continue to pursue this fantasy, sometimes even succeeding, then getting buyer’s remorse for not knowing the complexities of women. 

As we are approaching the reprehensible holiday of Valentine’s Day, a holiday invented in the second century AD by the Christians to skirt Emperor Claudius Gothicus’s marriage decree, and now hijacked by corporations, the Church, the feminine imperative, and Hollywood to make men feel bad for not giving gifts, spending time, or spending money on their significant others, we continue see love being perverted for different gains.  It’s been weaponized against men, through this wretched holiday, as well as through the lens of what the feminine imperative could squeeze from it.

It’s time to talk about men in love. 

Why Do You Hate Love?

“Love”, for lack of a better term, is used far too often for too many situations these days.   Love is supposed to be a catch all for strong emotions about something or somebody. 

The general response to the above diatribe from women to me would be, “Anyone who hates Valentine’s Day or love hasn’t really ever been in love, or they have experienced a bad heartbreak.”
While I have indeed experienced bad heartbreak (as have many men), I loathe that anyone who says I don’t like the word “love” is implying that I’m harboring an internal grudge against it because of past incidents with girls who rejected or broke up with me.  People are dying to connect these dots, because it supposedly invalidates my argument. 

From personal experience, in my early days as an AFC beta, I celebrated Valentine’s Day.  I thought I had to shower a girl with trinkets, gifts, and attention to validate my love for her.  I quickly learned that this was a fruitless endeavor.  I grew a bit wiser, and throughout my later relationships and up to my marriage, I seldom celebrated Valentine’s Day, and “love” was implied in my relationships. When I was married, my wife, at first, didn’t need proof of my feelings for her, but when the time came that she did need this proof (and the check almost always comes due at some point), I was already out the door.  The way that I saw it was, if I had to prove my love to this woman, it ceased to be love, and was now a business transaction.

Men can only feel “love”, or what they think is “love”, because as a goal, logic, and task oriented species, men focus on a goal and look for a solution.  That answer when dating is finding “true love”, or the ultimate solutions to a man’s “problem” of being single.  

This is what a fem-centric society wants.  Love, as with most things these days, has been hijacked by the feminine imperative not as a raw emotion, but as yet another filter to use for their hypergamic natures.  When a man gets oneitis, more often that not, he might as well be holding a giant, imaginary sign that states, “Average Frustrated Chump.”  Women avoid this like the plague, and when they see it, depending on the phase they’re in, not even Beta Bucks will help you. 

Countless romantic movies show men falling for a woman, being the “nice guy”, and getting his oneitis.  That’s how it’s supposed to be.  That’s how a fem-centric society wants to weed out the weak betas.

I don’t hate love, I hate what it’s being used for.

 

The Problem Of Love

For decades now, the manosphere has been accused of being misogynist, as well as decrying the values of love.  I think I speak for most of the mainstream manosphere when I say, I “love” women.  What do I mean?

Well, when I say love in the dating / relationship world, I should be saying:
-I enjoy the female form
-I enjoy the female company
-I enjoy sex with an attractive female, all the emotions and feelings I get from experiencing pleasure with the opposite sex
-I respect and appreciate everything a female has to offer
-I have an incredible admiration for all the amazing things females can do that men can’t

So, if you must call these things love, then I guess I can be called guilty for “loving” women.

The main problem with love is that it’s an emotion you can’t have without consequences. 

Love precipitates in many forms, including good and bad, but all very legitimate.  It’s one of the rawest emotions.  It’s brutality and bliss.  It’s decadence and danger.  It’s volatility incarnate.  It’s chaos.  This is why it can be used very effectively by women, because as creatures of chaos, it’s in their very large wheelhouse.

No matter how the chips fall in the dating world,  saying that word invokes strong emotions from females.  It’s a game changer, and as many a man has found out (including yours truly), saying that word too quickly in a relationship spells the end of said relationship.  You can’t say it until she does, and even then the feeling may not be mutual.  She’s always got something else on her mind, and it’s probably not you.  Unless you have an understanding about the general nature of women, as well as their feelings on love, you don’t have the knowledge of the dynamics involved.  The red pill alleviates many of these pitfalls.

The Responsibility of Love

Love is not harmless.  It’s not a fleeting emotion.  It’s a big deal, and it can get men into a lot of trouble.  When men love, there are many caveats attached to this love, including financial, emotional, and physical support of their woman.  This is how society expects men to show their love.  Women certainly don’t need this love, as they are capable of supporting themselves, but throughout early to dawn of the 20th century history, the man has been the bedrock of a relationship, creating the “bubble” which the woman had operated in. 

Then, with the advent of the Sexual Revolution of the 1960’s, women awoke to a new day where they controlled the dynamic, and they have not wrested control of it.  They were the bubble, they made the decisions, they played the part.  The sexual strategies being employed to this day developed in the past 50 years, and continue to evolve.

This is how society has been built.  Love no longer represents a harmless feeling, it’s very real, and if men aren’t prepared, can be damaging beyond belief.  It also represents a huge financial windfall for anyone wanting to make money off of it’s effects, from businesses marketing products, to family law, to state and federal governments, to churches, love’s for sale.  And if you choose not to play the game of love?  You’re a misogynist who’s been wronged far too many times by women.  Shame, guilt, and ridicule await you.

I don’t condone hating love.  My job is to make men aware of what it entails, what it stands for, and what it really means to be in love.  Love was sold as a good thing, suspending men in the good life, being happy, having sex, everything you were told it was about.

However, love is no longer a fruitless emotion, it is a responsibility.  And when presented like that, it’s not all roses and silk sheets.  I’m here to tell you that it’s not. 

As many wise men have stated, one cannot fully embrace the love of another without first securing the love of oneself.

One of the biggest adjustments of being red pill aware is not only the cynicism of love, but also the promise of how love can truly be fulfilled.  One thing that red pill knowledge has afforded me is the ability to realize more amazing relationships.  When you know what I know, you can approach love and relationships with logic, and still revel in the joys, feelings, and sensations of it.

Love is like fire.  It can be controlled, harnessed for good, but only after you know how to deal with it properly.  So educate yourself, so you can truly love again.


 

Personal Responsibility

Credit:  New York Post
As I sit down to write this blog post, several things in my life are getting me thinking about personal responsibility, a concept I whole-heartedly support for everyone.  I consider myself very conservative, and one man’s life is entirely in his hands, and his actions or lack thereof can directly affect his lot in life.  Maturity is essential when a person accepts those situations where they have no control, and makes the most of the situations that they do.
So as a single father, business owner, and Red Pill aware male, personal responsibility is the cornerstone of my belief system.  I am responsible for two children, a business, my employees, a household, and my own person.  Needless to say, I could not attribute my success to anything but hard work, foresight, tireless planning, and self-discipline.  But I wasn’t always this way…
There are some of you out there reading this that have had a rough go and blame your lot in life on outside forces.  Some mysterious force, out of your control, that continues to deny you of what is rightfully yours, holding you back against your inevitable triumph.  This is all bullshit.
There’s been an incredibly disturbing trend in modern Western society where victim hood has become all the rage.  With nanny state governments, victim hood peddlers, and virtue signalers becoming more and more commonplace, the personal responsibility mantra has taken a hit.  No one wants to be responsible, because it implies consequences.  Fear and consequences are the biggest obstacles to overcome, because some humans (while debatable, yes) are naturally inclined to avoid conflict.  No one wants to be at the target when the shit hits, and it’s becoming more and more acceptable to back down. 
You become a better person when the buck stops with you.
I don’t take this responsibility lightly.  People count on me everyday.  My kids depend on me to hold a job, provide food, shelter, clothing, school supplies, and all other necessities needed to grow up in a stable environment.  My employees depend on my expertise, resolve, decision making, and ability to lead to maintain the business so they can provide for their families and live a good life.  They depend on me to do my job so they may earn a livelihood.  My household depends on me to maintain cleanliness, upkeep, and repair.  My own person needs a good diet, exercise, and sleep.  
Personal responsibility is an important first step in the foundation of a greater life.  As you build, more things are drawn to you, you become more successful, you become more reliable, and you will accomplish more of what you want.  Also, when your starting out in your career, having reliability and self discipline (on time, work smart, dependability, ambition) will get you far, and these traits are the basis of a good personal responsibility belief.  
When dating, this responsibility manifests itself into a good physique and confidence to attract, as well as solid personal beliefs that don’t sway when confronted with women who engage emotionally.  
This belief system will be a natural filter for woman whom don’t fit your views, and will add to the effectiveness of “spinning plates” (h/t Rollo Tomassi) when you are dating many different types of women.  Don’t be the beta loser, contemplating your lot in life instead of getting off your ass and making things happen.  You’ll see your prospects dwindle with this outlook.
When in a LTR (Long term relationship), your own personal responsibility allows you to take on the natural gender role of leader, putting any relationship roles the woman doesn’t need to take to rest.  You are the man, act like it.  With a solid foundation of you taking care of you, everything will build off of that, and your relationship will be much stronger (and last longer, if you desire) with your self-reliance and personal responsibility leading the way. 
When you take responsibility for your actions, words, and desires, you will inevitably piss off people.  This is a fear most have as the desire for inclusiveness and acceptance is a human mantra that’s existed for many millennia.   But you can still have those things, as a natural belief in yourself, your thoughts, your dreams, and your actions, will piss off the RIGHT people.  If people are turned off by your persona and beliefs, they will go away, and those people that compliment your existence will be attracted to you.  
So where to start?  Start with you.  Stand up for your beliefs, even in the face of criticism.  Stop apologizing for your views.  Own it.  People will garner much more respect for you when you own your beliefs, your actions, and your words.  But be prepared.  Folks will be critical, they will ridicule, sometimes, as my anonymous brothers have found out,  there will be threats of physical violence.  But stand tall against the fierce wind.  Your beliefs will always be yours, and no one can take that from you. 

Dear Younger Self

Recently on my twitter feed, I had the opportunity to do a quick top ten list of things I would tell my younger self.  I was so proud of it, I have to post it here as well.  
While it doesn’t necessarily cover everything I would say, these points of emphasis are very important to not only older men going through a life reset, but also younger men in need of guidance.

And, also, unofficially,  the last bit of advice I can give, is LEARN.  Be willing to learn.  Don’t ever miss an opportunity to learn from those that have been there before you.  I continue to learn from all sorts of sources, and I won’t stop.  Absorb.  Grow.  Be the best man you can be.

Hypergamy

Photo credit:  The Modern Man

Recently, I’ve seen quite a few posts on SoSuave and other manosphere forums about Hypergamy and how important a role it plays in our current dating atmosphere in 2018.

Hypergamy, as it’s definition states, is “the action of marrying a person of a superior caste or class.”
However, in using it with respect to today’s Western civilization terms, it is an innate, involuntary response by females to seek out a mate of high quality.   Most of the time, depending on her sexual market value and where she is in that process, she’ll either fall for the alpha male, or the best beta male she can get.

While this can be a daunting situation to deal with, for the beta male, it is insurmountable.  With a beta male’s lack of confidence, lack of leadership, lack of masculinity, hypergamy takes no prisoners.  Many a beta has seen his hopes dashed after a quick bout of oneitis has manifested itself, then turned into anger and frustration after his precious lady has jumped on an alpha’s cock.  After all, Hypergamy doesn’t care

So what is one to do?  Many of the posts I’ve seen put hypergamy into an all powerful, unassailable obstacle.  This drives men to claim they have no control over the effects of hypergamy, leading them down the path of incels, looksmaxing, and general misogyny.

So how can men react to this evolutionary ideal?  By bettering themselves.

Look, I can’t give you a silver bullet.  Women are driven by finding the best male they can.  No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone better than you.

But, using self enrichment, you can become the best version of yourself, thereby increasing your chances with hotter and hotter women.  Find a hobby.  Focus on your career.  WORK OUT.  Read.  Learn.  When you have knowledge, you gain confidence.  Women will start to take notice of your newest advantages.  And suddenly, a woman in your life will not be the most important thing, just another benefit of your new outlook.

It works.  Experience for me is the greatest teacher.  Last year, I dated a girl for about 3 months and was a complete beta.  She dumped me, and it was then I decided to work on me, find myself, learn, grow.  Now, with this new found confidence, improved physique, and knowledge I’ve afforded myself, the attraction from other women is real.

Do this.  It’s not a woman’s fault if she’s not attracted to you.  It’s yours.  Get off your ass and get to work. 

My extensive knowledge of this subject comes from Rollo Tomassi and the Rational Male.  He is the best authority I know for matters of the man.  Check out his blog and also read his books