The Lost Art of the Dance

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“That is the way it is, we always fall in love because of a detail, a nuance. It is a marker we set up for ourselves in the midst of the confusion, in the infinite space of love. The greatest passions come from such little causes.”

― Georges Rodenbach, The Bells of Bruges

Wanna see how far we’ve fallen in the dating world? Simply look at online dating. It’s turned into a meat market with hookups as the end game for most people.

Here we see, many hopeless individuals, moving from encounter to encounter, thinking the next one will be the one they will finally be with.
Like an episode of Quantum Leap, they keep jumping from person to person, life to life, in hopes they’ll finally be able to say they can “settle down” and stop the merry-go-round.

The dinners, movies, activities that involve a quick interrogation, then potential sex if everyone is game, then ghosting after the sex wasn’t that good, the conversation dried up, the meaning, the skies parting, the light beaming down, all of it doesn’t happen.

And the trudging to the next good thing happens. And most of the time, it doesn’t happen.

Like a horrible game of musical chairs where the seats are covered in rusty nails, they force themselves to sit down because it’s better than not having a chair.

Technology has eliminated the whole point of dating, the dance. The push and pull, the subtlety, the slow burn that makes the sex, the climax, the anticipation of being with someone who’s weaved themselves into your mind.

The world is now about notches, being hot, and having as much sex as you can with no end in sight. And after 20 years of this, women and men, are still no closer to finding the person they want, because they pissed their chances away with a clear lack of dating direction.

“Dating is Hell”

Show me a person who hates to date, and I’ll show you someone who has never been on a REAL date. The nuance, the mystery, the dance has been removed for convenience’s sake, and the dating market has struggled with this very recently. With hook up apps, the dance of dating, the lost art of carrying a conversation, the subtlety of words and meanings meant to do a slow burn and build sexual tension has been replaced with swipe left or right, quick bios, and hit it and quit it.

Pick Up Artistry, which for years was a skill that few possessed but was honed and sharpened by constantly going up to people in public and talking to them, body language mastery, etc, has been replaced by the crapshoot shit show of technological convenience.

In short, everyone has stopped trying. Their physical appearance, their mental approach, their attitudes reflect people that don’t seem to care about meeting others. They put as little effort into themselves as they can, then write a glowing bio on a dating site and use filters to make themselves appear less unattractive, hoping that the person that swipes right for them is also just as uncaring about their own life, and they just fall in together in a depression laden relationship where they both get tired and one or both eventually cheat.

Depressing as fuck, isn’t it?

Because the end game is the relationship.

In the case of dating and interpersonal communications, it was never about the end game, the destination. The relationship was a goal, but you never stopped gaming your significant other. Now, people go through the hell of dating in order to get to the greater hell of a relationship with someone they have no business being with.

So with the glowing reviews of dating as being an introvert’s worst nightmare, and everyone claiming to be introverted, then FINALLY getting through it to be with SOMEONE, ANYONE, they have given up on something in life that should really be fulfilling, fun, and worthwhile.

No one wants to do the work it takes to be a good date anymore. No one wants to put in the time to focus on themselves, on being attractive, on being high quality, because they’d rather piss and moan and swipe, swipe, swipe. Because in the dating lottery, no one gets lucky, they just get frustrated, and they can’t see that they’re doing to themselves.

But also, the act, the dance, has been lost in all of this. COVID didn’t kill personal interactions, it only exposed what we’ve already known. No one wants to do the work, engage in the dating world, and have fun meeting new people.

If they treat it like a chore, then it is one.

Lost Arts

Conversation, words, nuance, body language, building intimacy, polarity, and tension in your interactions.

There’s a reason a woman touches her lip when she talks to you, sees you, and fantasizes about you. Because you have “primed the pump” so to speak with a mystery, an aloofness that only she can see.

The roles aren’t there, the masculine dances and leads the feminine, but now, everyone wants to get fucked.

It’s a mindless, soulless diversion that while can be fun, is generally not as fulfilling as dating and building that tension in a social setting.

The lost arts of interaction have taken their tolls on the dating world, only to be lost to the world, and seeing only the manosphere take up the banner on bringing it back. We need to continue to champion game, because it’s an important aspect in the dance of attraction.

But the dance scares men. Because it involves them being able to confidently interact with a woman. You must enchant her, you must be a mystery, you must build that tension, and men don’t know shit about how to do that. So they swipe, swipe, swipe.

This is why I will always be a proponent of game. The rise of petrified fear of rejection, lack of confidence, technological ease, and reduction of the societal importance of social gatherings continues to hound the dating world and we’re seeing the effects first hand.
You build the attraction. You have to master key interactions with women.

Body language mastery.

All of this is the dance.

The keys to seducing and building tension. Women love it, they just don’t say it out loud. They appreciate a man who works to keep her engaged, playfully using words, implying sexual nuance in daily conversations, and putting small, seductive thoughts in her head.

What men don’t realize is that you can utilize modern dating tech to enhance this ability, but we seldom do that.

Dating technology makes us lazy.

This is why the concepts that the manosphere teaches will never go out of style, regardless of how much technology tries to cancel it out.

The art of the dance, the tension built, the ebb and flow of flirtation, the push, and pull of the interaction, the game, will never go away.

Social interaction will always be an important skill that men need to continue to work on mastering. Your job is to build it and she will cum.

You lead the dance.

Women want to be taken, claimed. They want passion.

Women want to be seduced.

They want a man to make them dream of him and what he’s capable of.

They want a man to use her emotions to make her excited.

She wants exciting.

She wants you to assert your masculinity over her. Engulf her in it. Because she knows your strength. She knows your motives and lets herself go. She wants to fall for you and she wants you to catch her.

She wants to dance.

So learn to dance with her.

Resignation Superman

Photo Credit: Jaq’s Studio

There was a time, not so long ago, that men were superheroes. Many lost their lives in wars fighting against tyrannical dictators hell-bent on destroying a way of life we all hold dear, an idea we all cherish, that of freedom. These men were tough, strong, dedicated, purposeful, and fearless. The life they lived after their times of service paled in comparison to what they went through. As the wars faded and the men went back to work, they became their jobs, focusing on providing for their families and moving through their lives after traumatic events where they became heroes.

But, as it turns out, this may have been our best generation. Because as with all things that happen, when there are no wars and the enemy is vanquished, we become our own enemy. None of this was bad until the unintended consequences took over. With liberalism and the Sexual Revolution, men became not the saviors of our way of life, but the reasons we have wars, disease, and bad things. Without a real enemy, women turned against men, burning bras, railing about being oppressed, and declaring war on traditional gender roles, as if as of those were necessarily bad.

We went into the ’80s and ’90s and oughts continuing on a spiral down. Women not only wanted to be like men, but they also wanted men replaced and watered down to breeding stock. Ironically, they wanted men with guns to command men to be more docile. The emergence of the “doofus” father figure (Homer Simpson, Al Bundy, etc.) was a mainstay. He was the comic relief for the family that the mother was leading. Men became dumb, bumbling, and ineffective at leading their families, a far cry from the leading man of the ’50s and ’60s.

Men were now comic relief. And we were told by countless women championing equality that this was a new way forward. This was the future. Women were deserving of a man’s life without the consequences.

What’s funny, as my friend Jack always seems to succinctly point out, is that feminism as a whole is just making it up as they go along. They got the right to vote, so they pushed more. They have all the rights and privileges as men (despite their harangues about the mythical wage gap), but feminism can only thrive when they are a victim. Feminism is chaos, unorganized.

Ironically, women could not get these new rights without men with guns. That’s the catch here. And it also pisses women off something fierce, which is why you see feminism angered about the armed forces and men in uniform. They can’t stand that they have to rely on men to enforce their whims.

The problem with feminism, as there are so many to even count or comprehend, is that in order for it to flourish, it has to demonize the other sex. It just can’t be happy in its femininity, with all of the great things that women bring to the table just by being beautiful, feminine women. It had to have more. It had to have the benefits of being a man while avoiding pitfalls. But here’s the issue: Feminism is dying. How do I know? Because they’ve gotten everything they wanted, now they have to weaken men by claiming “toxic” masculinity. That same toxicity that saved our world from evil men just 80 years ago has been shit canned for the chaotic, uneven, absolutely bastardized version of civil rights in this new decade.

Men can use women’s bathrooms, white men are the devil, and more grievance-mongering by the radical, feminist left. And it will get worse before it gets better, but I can assure you, it will get better.

The Push to Weaken Masculinity

There has been a concerted effort to weaken masculinity for years now and it has crescendoed into an active effort to demean, clinically oppress, and undermine men and what they stand for.

And unfortunately, many men are letting it happen. Rather than keeping sharp and raising their levels, many millions of men have given up, happily floating through life as the do-nothing lummox, drinking with his friends, settling for sex once a month, gladly putting down his responsibility to the feminist wife who wants it all, until she doesn’t.

Men have relinquished their roles because it’s easy, technologically feasible, and encouraged by a society hell-bent on putting men on a path to oblivion. Gone are the days of men who would take control of their families, lead despite opposition, and do the tough things it takes to be a man in the 20th and now 21st centuries. Men were given a “get out of jail free” card and they took it by the millions until the feminine imperative decides to chaotically change the rules again.

That’s the deal here. Men are letting the chaotic flow of feminism take them to wherever it goes, and even the females leading the charge have no freakin’ clue how to direct the river. They just see what they can get away with and run with it. Whatever they feel they can justify and move the needle any more in their favor, they will take. But what’s happened?

Instead of taking power, women have found that what men do is tougher than they thought. They’ve found that living the man’s lifestyle while rewarding to a certain extent, is hard. Women who were strong leaders in their 30’s are now on dating apps because no sane minded man will date them. Their feminist, militaristic views of where men should fall in the new order will result in them simply settling for a man who is a weak, delicate supporter, just to get laid more than likely.

What these women fail to realize is that by weakening men, they’ve cut their nose off to spite their face. They’ve taken the foundation away from a strong society and replaced it with only gravel, which with one shake will give way.

Men have given up because they don’t believe the fight is worth the fuss, they just don’t care anymore, or will gladly let the women do the heavy lifting. Laziness, indolence, and selfishness have continued to be the cards millions of men punch because society has allowed them to do it. What will it take to get them back?

Resignation to Reconquest

I believe that men’s natural drive to lead will come back. The resignation will be short-lived because men are needed to take their rightful place as patriarchs and foundations of strong societies. When human beings attempt to ignore their natural preclusion to a hierarchy, Mother Nature works it all out in the end by replacing the weak man with the strong. History time and time again has shown that societies with strong men at their center thrive and grow. It happened with the Greeks, Persians, Chinese, Romans, Arabs, and Christians.

What feminists fail to realize is that their little victories trying to demonize men will eventually cost them the whole war, because they don’t want to recognize humans’ natural tendencies to arrange into the male-female hierarchies that dominate our history. Every time we as a human race attempt to break away from Mother Nature, she pulls us right back into our natural tendencies. We can’t break free of nature, even if we have a higher capacity of thought than any other animal. It still doesn’t change our insides, our hearts, our bodies, and how we operate.

Nature still wins. And in this case, nature will continue to win until we stop fighting it and start cherishing our natural heritage. If we don’t, then we will go the way of so many empires before us, much sooner than they did, because we refuse to pick up a weapon out of shame from our supposed female “betters”. They aren’t our betters, no one is. They are complimentary. Working together as natural allies is the only path forward.

Having hurt feelings doesn’t do you much good when facing a loaded gun.

Being trite or dismissive will get your throat slit by those who don’t give a damn about anything else but their own survival.

All of this technology, the borders we have, the walls we erect, are meaningless unless there is a Superman to help enforce it. And those Supermen, every day, stand a post with a gun and watch those who wish us harm. And if they resign, God help us.

But I feel good knowing that I stand a post in my own life as opposed to the millions of men who’ve unknowingly put their guns down for a life of luxury and no responsibility. I feel like those men will either fall off naturally or pick up a weapon because one way or the other, it’s going to happen at some point.

One of my favorite groups of the ’90s was Big Head Todd and the Monsters, and my favorite song by them is the title of this particular blog post. The lyrics of their song bite deep. What happens when men decide to put down their guns and stop fighting for the world that needs them?

He’ll come flying out of this town
A resignation superman
And today the bad guys win
‘Cause he turned his cape in
Now, he says
And I’ll turn my back on this world
Yes, I’ll turn my eyes from this world
Oh well … Yes, he’s tired of fighting in this town
All the suffering and vice
He wants to fall in love
Maybe settle in and live a life
And I’ll turn my back on this world
Yes, I’ll turn my eyes form this world Oh I want to believe in you now that I’m suffering
Oh lord, I need to receive your hand in my heart And he keeps an eye upon this town
The resignation superman
He’ll keep himself amused
With the evening news
Oh my …
And I’ll turn my back on this world
Yes, I’ll turn my eyes from this world
Now I broke my back on this world
Now I’ll wash my hands of this world Oh I want to believe in you now that I’m suffering
Oh lord, I need to receive your hand in my heart

The strong men are still here. They just need to be awoken.