Beckett Drives # 13 – Online Safety and Responsible Social Media Use for Kids

As a father, I have a responsibility to protect my kids, not only in life, but online.

Monitoring and checking on their computer and social media use is an important part of any parent’s job to raise a child.

Don’t let your kids get involved in social media unless they know how to use it responsibly.

And always monitor what they’re doing online, because bad things happen, and the more you know what your kids are up to, the better position you’ll be to address these issues.

The Enemy Within

In a tragic story this week, 17 year-old Instagram e-girl Bianca Devins was brutally murdered by a crazed fan in Upstate New York. 21 year old Brandon Andrew Clark was charged with second degree murder of Ms. Devins, but the circumstances of this particular story shed some light on a topic that needs to be of serious concern, the White Knight and Beta Orbiter.

The accused was one of many men who “orbited” Ms. Devins by way of her IG account. A “beta orbiter” in this case, are men who have an unhealthy attraction to a woman. They do not register sexually to that woman, and some examples of their many traits are either they are unattractive, socially awkward, or both.

So they “orbit”, praising her with compliments, doing things to try to get her attention, all while hoping she will choose them, over tens, hundreds, thousands, or millions of other men, because only they truly “love” her.

What this post is going to focus on is the intrinsic link between beta orbiters, incels, and white knights. Incidents like the one we’ve just witnessed won’t be the last, unless we do something about the growing number of men who are sexually frustrated by being the beta orbiter / white knight / incel. If we don’t address these issues, all we’re waiting on is the powder keg to be lit.

I Dub Thee “Captain Save-A-Hoe”

So what is this White Knight Syndrome?

To put it as succinctly as I can, a “White Knight”, especially online, tries to take a woman’s side of an argument or viewpoint, and make it his own.

But, he is not doing it because he agrees with her.

He is doing it because he thinks that by taking her side, being nice and supportive, and coming to her rescue, she will be intimate with him.

Captain Save A Hoe, you’ve been dubbed.

White knights have a knack for trying to rescue damsels in distress, regardless of how messed up it may potentially make their own lives. But what drives these men to make such disastrous decisions, completely negating their own self interest?

One word: Sex.

Men in feminist or women dominated spheres are told to suppress their sexual urges, because men should be able to control themselves. They WOULD, but they certainly haven’t been taught how to. Most rely on porn, e-girls, and other on-line tools to try and manage their thirst. But was we know, porn is terrible for a man, and it only increases his sexual frustrations. So instead of encouraging men to act healthy with their sexuality, they’re shamed and made to feel broken, which is far from the truth.

So instead of expressing their sexuality in a healthy manner, they are forced to try to use covert methods in order to gain female approval and maybe, sex, but rescuing or fighting for a woman whom they have an attraction for.

Or, they “orbit” that particular female, showering her with compliments, hoping to make himself stand out to her, only to be one of thousands of thirsty betas hoping that one comment to her, just one, will bring her to them and fulfill their wildest dreams.

But, these men are so sexually frustrated, so misled on how to handle and control their thirst, that when their well thought out master plan fails and he sees her with another guy, they enrage, and some commit violent acts like the ones we saw in Utica, NY. These men are sick and need help, but we need to acknowledge this problem first.

Want to stop the problem? Help the guys before they become like this.

Similarities in Incel, White Knight, and Beta Orbiter Behavior

Incels, white knights, and beta orbiters have some similarities, and it’s not surprising that as soon as some beta orbiters take the red pill, they turn very dark very quickly, especially if their crush continues to deny them what they feel they deserve, sex.

All three feel they deserve sex from a woman for their actions to “save” them, defend them, or be nice to them. All three are trying to put their perceived uniqueness to attract their crushes, but find out very quickly that they aren’t unique, so they attempt to completely change themselves to fit her perfect man mold, completely losing themselves in the process. It’s about getting with her, and only getting with her.

But what happens when these men dedicate their entire lives to worshiping this woman, whom they don’t even know, and she decides she’s found a boyfriend? Seething contempt, regret for wasting his time, and anger at her for not choosing him.

Incels take this to even more dangerous levels by encouraging violence against women.

But there’s a trend where incels are directly breeding from beta orbiter camps, especially with resentment, self loathing, and blame. And you’re going to see more if the trend continues.

While incels are “involuntarily celibate”, orbiters and knights are voluntarily celibate, often holding off on sex with any women, unless she’s the one he’s pedastalizing. This results in more time watching porn, his crush on an IG channel or live stream, or breaking their celibacy for shallow sexual encounters that bring him no closer to securing that girl of his dreams. White knights will do everything in their power to show that girl that they are here to help, going so far as to abandon everything the believe for a chance to show her who they are, and save her from the mob.

All of these have the same common denominator, and innate weakness in men. They don’t have the tools to handle this weakness, and they are further shamed when they do admit they do have it. Even acknowledging that they need sex is met with skepticism and ridicule, so it’s no wonder men like these are having the issues they’re having.

Weak Ass Men

Weakness is the bottom line here. We aren’t teaching or empowering men to make a positive change in their lives, we’re encouraging them to continue to use crutches when they can clearly walk with their own two feet.

When it comes to men’s own sexuality, acceptance of who they are, what biology has given them, and removing the stigmas of “toxic” natures of this sexual appetite would go a long way to men getting out of this pattern.

But it has to start with the man, his environment, and his tendencies, and most importantly, his own actions.

Regardless of what society is doing to empower or disenfranchise men, it still boils down to PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.

Blaming societal norms for the problematic societal behaviors showcased in this post doesn’t let you off the hook. Nothing does.

Men still willingly participate in behaviors detrimental to their own goals and purposes.

So we as men, need to teach these lost souls how to be better than their thirst, more than their sexuality. Most men are boiled down to what’s in their pants, and don’t know that they can become much more than that with help from institutions, organizations, and peers that emphasize positive masculinity and acceptance.

But society needs to stop pushing the false narrative that “all men are potential rapists” and scapegoating men for their biological urges. This demonizes them for simply being men. Toxic masculinity to feminists is ALL things masculine. Women use misrepresented statistics to induce fear among their colleagues, simply stating that any man will rape you at any time. Like an ISIS cell, men are just waiting to be activated to terrorize and brutalize women.

But instead of just focusing on making men better by embracing their traits, feminism requires masculinity to change for the good of the women men love.

Bull spit.

Men are men. Deal with it. Until we can come to grips with the fact that you can’t change anything about biology and address the REAL inherent problems that affect men (and women) everyday (single parent homes, the collapse of the family structure, sexual and physical abuse, etc), you won’t make the problem go away by labeling a group.

And everyone hates generalizations, don’t they?

Beckett Drives # 11 – Red Pill Victimization

When men take the red pill, it can be so devastating to their fragile egos that they will go off the reservation, but either staying MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) or worse, incels and misogyny.

The red pill is not misogyny. It never was. It was just about realizing the true nature of women.

But guys get screwed over bad enough that they believe that women are truly evil, and their brains are shot. They need to come back from the brink and get themselves right again, but realizing that not only are women NOT inherently evil, but they are wonderful, complementary creatures meant to strengthen a man’s tribe and purpose.

Enjoy.

Beckett Discusses #1 – Getting Along With Your Ex in a Divorce

As most folks know, in a divorce, especially one that has kids, they suffer when both sides don’t get along.

Betrayal, hurt feelings, and resentment make for a bad time all around.

But as a man, you have to stow your feelings, and move on with the ultimate protection of the kids in mind.

I don’t care what she did. It’s immaterial now as you are getting divorced.

Your love is now dead, now your relationship is a ledger with credits and debits. Your contractual agreement now must be figured out.

And the best way to move forward for both parties, is to act like adults.

The Bitch is Back

Photo Credit: Make Him Yours

So a very recent phenomenon has happened to me a few times in the past couple of months and I couldn’t resist the chance to write about it.

About eight months ago, I was sitting in a local coffee shop working on my blog when I got a good IOI looking up from my computer of a HB 7 typing away on her laptop in the same vicinity.

I approached, sat down, and started talking to her. We hit it off pretty well. She was one of my very first approaches.

I closed and got her number. I called her and we set up a date.

As the date got closer, she contacted me and abruptly cancelled. Really no explanation except she was “really busy with work.”

But we all know what that means in fem-speak. She was spinning plates. And it’s okay for her to do that.

The old me would not have understood that. But we’re in Red Pill me time now.

I never heard from her again. Until…

Just recently, I had posted a updated workout pic as I am working very hard to improve my physique. Low and behold, I get a text from her.

“So how are you?”

Of course, my first text was, “who is this?” (I knew, but I also knew why she was texting)

“It’s Trish. I was thinking about you, wanted to see what you were up to.”

I replied coldly, “Doing my thing. What can I do for you?”

“Well, I was wanting to see if you wanted to meet up and get some coffee sometime.” she weakly stammered.

I responded directly. “I appreciate the offer, however, I really don’t make it a habit of going out with girls who cancel dates and never return texts or calls.”

She tried to apologize, but I wasn’t having it. I cut her off and said my goodbyes.

Anatomy of a Bandwagon Bitch

This whole situation was thought provoking for two reasons:

  1. If this was the old me, I would’ve gone out with her in a split second and,
  2. This was a textbook example of what the manosphere is always preaching about with hypergamy.

So before we go into the two issues above, let’s analyze the woman who was doing this above.

She’s 28, brunette, business professional. She’s hot enough to have 20-30 orbiters around her at all times for validation and ego enhancement. She won’t stay in one place for very long, having a ton of casual sex but not owning up to it, and when she does have a relationship, it lasts at most a few months. In a word, she’s “flighty.”

In her hummingbird world, there will always be a better man. Until there isn’t. In the female game of musical chairs just before her epiphany phase, she’s hedging her bets to get the best possible “beta bucks” all while having her last flings with alphas that she hopes to “change” before she hits the wall.

Women like this are fighting the inevitable, trying desperately to keep the epiphany phase at bay. But as we all know, the check comes due sooner rather than later.

Why Now?

Which is why I wasn’t the least bit surprised when this particular girl was coming up on my phone.

From eight months ago until now, I have improved my wardrobe, lost 20 pounds, and have been steadily improving my approaching, confidence, and demeanor. So I was at least aware of the possibility of this happening, however, what got me thinking was the TYPES of women who were coming back trying to “give me the pleasure of having her in her life” as one Bandwagon Bitch put it.

The few that have come crawling back try to trick themselves into thinking they aren’t crawling at all. As with all female solipsism examples like casual sex that doesn’t count or the universe representing only her views, they feel like now I’m “good enough” to include in their “spectacular” lives.

But the old me wouldn’t have figured this out. I would’ve been happy if a HB 7 came calling at all, and would’ve done all I could do to make it work, even when she cheated on me years later because she’s bored.

The societal landscape has changed.

These are single women essentially acting like single men. And we as a society are okay with that.

But as we shun single men because they “refuse” to settle down or “grow up”, we celebrate single women as powerful because they don’t do that. We aren’t empowering females by encouraging them to act like males, we’re killing the woman that lies naturally within her, cutting off nourishment.

The consequences of such a paradigm shift are starting to show.

As we are seeing more and more, there’s buyer’s remorse from betas on their flighty wives, post wall women regretting they didn’t have kids or live the life of a woman, and lonely middle aged feminists looking for men to “man up, grow a pair” and take on them and their kids.

But like I said, there’s a new me in town.

I chose not to fall for the bull, and as with most things in the manosphere, knowledge is power, and she played right into obscurity.

Don’t Fall For It

The reason the manosphere talks so much about things like this is that they DO happen. And this is just another example of it. Knowing what to look for and how to avoid it can only help you achieve a level of awareness that will keep you focused when a girl of better attributes does enter your life.

However, the most disturbing thing about this is that, somewhere, at some point, some guy will take the bait and be stuck with this nightmare. And those are the men that I’m trying to reach everyday. They must not make this mistake, or they’re in for a world of hurt.

So as you’re working on your quality, be mindful that some girl you’ve approached or been intimate with is watching you and will be in touch again because you’re better than you were.

And without hesitation, please show this “Bandwagon Bitch” the door.

If she doesn’t like you when you’re at your worst, she doesn’t deserve you at your best.

The Pain You Need

Photo Credit: carlosxuma.com

At the birth of my beta existence, I was a senior in high school. I hadn’t dated much, and was just discovering girls, while many of my peers had been dating for 2-3 years. I was a virgin who had very little experience in this realm. I was a pretty hopeless case. A text book beta.

So it goes without saying that my first screaming case of oneitis occurred in these beta formative years. And of all my cases of oneitis, this was the worst.

She was tall, athletic, blond, and gorgeous. Tiffany was a freshman when I was a senior. She had lived in my neighborhood, and I knew of her growing up, but when she hit high school, she blossomed into a beautiful woman. And she knew it. So being a beta turd, I was already at a disadvantage. I was put into the friendzone almost immediately, with my only success being a stealed kiss waiting for a friend at my parents house.

She dated two of my friends as I continued into college. I was extremely hooked on her, almost unhealthy, and as she graduated, she would bounce around dating my good friends (everyone except me, essentially).

I still wouldn’t take the hint. When she entered college at my university, I tried to continue to play the nice guy. I took her to dinners constantly, listening to her drone on about how my friends were so awesome to her and she had a crush on them. Bouncing back and forth between my two best friends at the time, it was agony for me. And I still couldn’t drag myself out of it.

This screaming case of oneitis had cost me my college freedom. It had closed me off to what was possible. And even worse, if she had asked me to do anything, I would’ve done it twice over. She had a spell on me, and it really affected me.

On several of our dinner dates, I would continue to hint that I would be perfect for her, molding myself into someone she could date, but she would always tell me no. I’d be destroyed for a couple of months, and then go right back to trying to court her. Hope was killing my life.

Hope is a death knell for betas.

It was after college that I finally came a bit to my senses. I started to distance myself from her, only to have her come over and complain about my friend and her’s relationships. Then, her and my friend broke up. I thought this was my chance.

It was a May afternoon about a year after I graduated from college that I heard that not only was she not choosing me (a statement she had made many times before), but she was dating another one of my best friends. I exploded. She called from her car and I went off on both her and my friend. I was done. I didn’t talk to them for years after the fact.

But it didn’t have to be this way.

I’d never taken rejection well. To the point where if I was rejected, I would cower for two – three months and be petrified of approaching any girls. I had to resort to online dating so that I could buffer the horrible pain of rejection. So my high school and college careers was a series of oneitis catches, then rejection, then despair as I tried to get over it. It really was pitiful, but it was all I knew, so those years were essentially a dumpster fire.

“It’s As If You’ve Been Physically Hurt”

Rejection is a primal human fear. It’s a part of us. According to Psychology Today, rejection actually “piggybacks off of pain pathways in the brain.

Humans have a mapped feel for rejection, all the way back to ancient times. Humans have a need to belong, “and when they were ostracized by their tribe, it would almost mean certain death“. So in that sense, rejection was a life or death issue. Survival instincts kicked in after a rejection.

These days, we fear rejection even more, and the ostracization of people can be even more felt. So much so that society has put in buffers.

So terrified are we as a society of rejection, so terrified are we of social interaction, that we have built our dating technology, food service, grocery delivery, and dining out experiences to avoid speaking with people.

Think about it. We have food delivery, pay at the pump, grocery delivery, carry out, porn, and swiping right and left to specifically avoid talking to people in person. Social interaction means exposing ourselves to some form of rejection, and we avoid it like the plague. We like our bubbles, and we erect comfortable walls to keep us safe inside so we don’t have to feel that pain.

So what’s the result? Well, disaster.

Social skills are lacking in younger generations. Young men are having less sex than ever before. The amount of men not having sex has increased three fold over the past 10 years. We have buffered ourselves into a stagnation of child birth rates.

Reading body language, reading a room, interacting with people have all become quality skills that are needed these days. It’s amazing to me how technology has gone out of it’s way to push keeping people in their bubbles.

And all of this, all of it, because we want to avoid the pain of rejection.

The Alternative

Pain hurts. Of course it does. It’s a human body’s generated response to “stay the hell away from that”. But pain is also the body’s greatest teacher. Which is why we as a human race need to stop avoiding it.

S what did I do after I snapped? Well, continuing on my destiny of being a plugged in beta, I finally, finally, got out of my shell just after college. I started to work out more, I started to date more. I was meeting people. I would slowly work my way out of my rejection funks. Where before I would zero out for months, it was now weeks or days. Then, I met my wife.

The “lost decade” for me came after I had made so much progress. I fell back to Earth. And I didn’t have the chance to really come into my own, choosing the path of least resistance. Then I got divorced.

Going through the hell of divorce makes you a different person. The pain of rejection is nothing compared to the pain of divorce. When you start feeling REAL pain, financial, emotional, and physical, you realize that rejection is nothing.

So as I emerged from my divorce, it was time for me to finally take control. I fluttered around for about a year, dating occasionally, and still feeling the sting of rejection, but not to the extent I felt in my 20’s. It was getting better.

I’ve had three relationships in the 3 years since my divorce, and each relationship has taught me more and more about rejection in the big scheme of my world. The pain was becoming less intense with every breakup, every rejection, regardless of situations.

“Pain Don’t Hurt”

One of the most famous lines from the 1989 classic movie Road House, Patrick Swayze makes an excellent point. As he’s getting stitches from Kelly Lynch without numbing, he’s telling her about the amount of times he’s been stabbed, shot, and beaten up. His body has become used to it. It comes with the turf of being a bouncer.

So what the hell does this have to do with rejection? Well. I’ll let my recent experiences tell you.

In the past year, I’ve been rejected over 300 times by women. And while I now don’t think that’s a lot, taking the beta Red Pill Dad numbers of 2 months average after a rejection to get right, that would be over 50 years to stew over that many rejections. 50 FREAKIN’ YEARS. I’d be 75 years old with the same oneitis problems. What a waste of a life.

My pain is now pleasure. The pain of rejection has now been turned around in my life to give me a road map to be a better man.

Pain from rejection turns into learned experience and eventual success.

After any rejections, I don’t stew. I think, I write, and I study. I take advantage of my pain to show me what I did wrong.

Instead of passively avoiding the pain like we see society doing, I am actively working to avoid the pain by studying my techniques and learning what works.

Now, I’m approaching and getting rejected more than I ever had. The key to rejection is to NOT TAKE IT PERSONAL. Knowing that one fact will make the pain of rejection that much more easy to take. Whether she’s in a relationship, not in the mood, you don’t click with her, you live in different cities, or you have different goals and interests, it’s just not a fit.

She’s just not into you, bro.

Getting past the pain of rejection was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But overcoming that pain is small compared to the regret you’d feel living a life of disconnect just because you don’t want to feel it.

Feeling pain is living. So it’s time for you to start.