Diary of the Despondent

One of my favorite bands is Breaking Benjamin. I discovered them in 2005 after a sales symposium I went to and a colleague from Pennsylvania mentioned his close to home town band had hit it big with primal screams, towering riffs, and ice-cold lyrics.

And as I grew fonder of them, one of their songs, with probably nothing to do with the subject, hit home as an anthem for the forever plugged in male attitude that I’d experienced for the vast majority of my current adult life.

“The Diary of Jane”, which officially has something to do with a movie star from the ’40s, I think, had lyrics that screamed through my head as the forever hopeful beta man who’d prayed, pined, and yes, even wept over that “perfect” girl for him, the girl that he loved that didn’t love him. The lyrics tell the tale…

“If I had to I would put myself right beside you
So let me ask you,
Would ya like that? Would ya like that?
And I don’t mind If you say
This love is the last time
So now I’ll ask,
Do ya like that? Do ya like that?

Something’s getting in the way
Something’s just about to break
I will try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
So, tell me
How it should be?

Try to find out
What makes you tick As I lie down
Sore and sick
Do ya like that, Do ya like that?
There’s a fine line
Between love and hate
And I don’t mind
Just let me say,
That I like that, I like that

Something’s getting in the way
Something’s just about to break
I will try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
So tell me
How it should be?

Desperate I will crawl
Waiting for so long
No love, there’s no love
Die for anyone
What have I become?

Something’s getting in the way
Something’s just about to break
I will try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place
In the diary of Jane”

Such was my lot in life throughout my 20’s and briefly after my divorce before I truly became knowledgeable about the ways of things.

Rationalizing Dust

As with most times in the lives of our current modern men who are lost, I call the 10 years between 18 and 27 of my life the “lost decade” simply because I felt I squandered my youth on the fruitless pursuit of true love, passing on from one female crush to the next, desperately hoping that this girl would love me. I didn’t have sex, I kissed four women, I rarely dated, hung with friends, played a shit ton of video games, and generally went from woman to woman like some damn episode of Quantum Leap, hoping that my next crush would be the one that set me free, that this love would be “the one”.

Pathetic? Sure. But when you see that many men are taking this path these days, it’s becoming more problematic seeing men, young men, believe the lies that I believed, and be balls deep in the fiction. My lost decade involved crushes on 5 girls, each who came into my life on more than one occasion, and each time, I was convinced fate, more than anything else, would show them that I was the guy for them.

But fate, or as I now prefer it, “rationalizing dust” is a losing and sometimes deadly game for men.

Fate, hope, and destiny are banners for the weak. I firmly believed, at my young age, that I only had partial control of my life, and these three magic words above were truly in control. So I lived my life on these as fuel. If I truly wanted, yearned, and pined enough for a girl, that she would be mine. I would use any sign, any small gesture, even her talking to me, as a rationalization that “this is why we’ll be together, this is fate taking the wheel.”

Absolute madness.

But the harshest truths are the ones that we refuse to accept, simply because it goes against all we think we stand for, all that we were told we believe. And we as men don’t want to believe such things, because not only does the truth not spare our feelings, it kicks the living shit out of us and then makes us get up for more. We want the feel-good story. We root for the underdog. But as you know if you’ve done any gambling, the underdog seldom wins. And consistently playing that role as a man looking for a woman will yield terrible results, not because of fate, destiny, or magic fucking words, but because of brutal, cold, real, reality.

Call it a pill. Call it whatever you want, but it’s the hardest, most real, most unfortunate truths about women that I didn’t, nay, refused to recognize in my gumdrop, lollipop, unicorn world of hopes and dreams. And these truths are what make or break men in their dealings with the opposite sex.

  • Fate is fantasy. It’s the belief that something will happen, and when fleshed against the rigidness of reality, it buckles like a belt.
  • The girls that I fell in love with never cared for me. In fact, more often than not, I was a nuisance to them. And, as the lyrics above opine, most, if not all of the time, I didn’t even register in their psyche. No pages in their diaries for me. None. Zip. Zilch.
  • Years of my life were wasted on girls who didn’t give two shits about me and never would. I should’ve done more, been more, worked on myself more. Regret is a bitch, and you can’t get those years back. “Die for anyone, What have I become?”
  • Women who did like me weren’t the ones I wanted. And the ones I wanted would never return the affections in the way I wanted.
  • Romance isn’t dead, it’s just misplaced and misused by men desperate to prove something to women who don’t care if he proves anything or not.
  • There are always other dudes. And until you can prove you have better value than the majority, there will always be other dudes. Pragmatism trumps idealism every damn time.
  • Nothing you “do” will make her like you. She’ll find an attraction to you in how much you invest in yourself
  • Women are emotional creatures. That doesn’t make them bad, in fact, it makes them the exact opposite, but you have to know what to expect, how to deal with them, and their chaotic and unpredictable patterns that seldom side with logic. Men and women really are different, but that’s a good thing.
  • Hating women for being women is misogynistic. You believe that they are operating in bad faith. And while some of them truly are, many of them don’t realize they are, nor do they care to understand if they do. Hate the game, not the player. Societal advantages for women have been around for eons and will continue because they outnumber men on this planet. Majority rules. We can still rail against these disadvantages men face, but it won’t change the big picture.

With these truths in tow, many men need to move forward to their new lives under these truths.

But many men just can’t. Hence the title of this post.

The Six D’s of a Man’s Life Realization

Photo Credit: Intellectual Takeout

I was there. I didn’t want to believe any of this. I still fought every day to believe the fairy tale, but it didn’t matter. The plug was pulled and I was out there floating. Many men will just float for decades, hoping to find that the dream really was true, many others will just continue to live their lives as if they weren’t aware and be disappointed. Still more will try to rationalize the irrational, stretching their beliefs into taffy to justify the behavior of others. And unfortunately, many won’t either unplug fully or those that do end their lives because they can’t believe that they were so wrong.

They feel they’ve wasted their lives on a narrative that wasn’t true, not even close, and rather than accept the hard work needed to pick back up, they won’t. They let go.

However, I, among many other men in this sphere that have all unplugged (yes, they all have), are living proof that there is life after death. The old you dies with all of the false knowledge you had and the new you arises equipped to deal with this new reality. It’s harsh but one thing that I can say is that you can be stronger. You can survive this new environment with renewed hope because the hope now comes not from outside forces, but from within yourself.

Self-empowerment and improvement is a cornerstone of this new reality. Faith is put into yourself which makes you more able to survive and thrive.

Here’s the six D’s I used: Denial, Disappointment, Despondency, Discovery, Drive, Domination

My message is simple. It’s never too late for you. I don’t care if you’re 20 or 80. You take responsibility for your life, your beliefs, and your knowledge at the age you do and you then grow with it. The bitter pill isn’t bitter, it’s only bitter for those that refuse to understand that the bitterness is a phase on your journey and it too will pass.

I want to show men that even after the harsh truths above, the six D’s that they go through in this process. I’m writing about this very issue in my book. The seventh D, divorce, is in some men’s lives as well as a phase of discovery.

This isn’t self-help as much as it is self-information. Men need to be aware of all of this crap because I sure as hell wasn’t and I can tell you my father nor my grandfather was either. And with masculinity under attack, the numbers of single mother households growing and the daily messages I get from men struggling, it’s only going to get worse before we can stem the tide.

We’ve lost too many good men to their own weaknesses. We can’t lose any more. The message needs to get out and it needs to get out in a big way.

Women aren’t your problem. You are. Your pining over women is wasting your resources. You’ve forfeited your life direction for a fiction. Something that you can’t control. But you can control this. You can control what you do.

That’s why I’m here. That’s why I do what I do.

It will never change the fact that there will always be men that need help getting out of this morass they are currently stuck in because of society telling them what’s best for them rather than looking inside themselves. Weak men will always be a battle that needs fighting. But the real fight is getting this information to these men without it being attacked as being anti-female or misogynistic. It isn’t and never was. Male empowerment isn’t taking anything away from women, it’s sharpening the roles of each sex and playing to strengths that have been around for thousands of years and aren’t going to go away because of “feelings”.

So stop pining over a woman, deriding your despair into victimhood, and trying to justify the lies that have been told to you. Get out of your own head and get your ass to work. You’ll thank me when you get to the other side and see how fucking awesome it is.

Open your eyes and live. Your best years are ahead of you.

The RPD Approach / Game Report #1 – Starting Again

Credit: The Independent

So as this is a blog about all things Red Pill, I wanted to start a new segment this week for all of my new readers.

As most of you know, I am very much involved in the dating game. I am a single dad, and as a such, I’ve been trying to learn game. Being married for a decade, and of course not being unplugged in the first place, my embarrassing exploits are cataloged on several of my blog posts. However, I’ve realized the error of my ways since unplugging and as an early 40’s single man, I’m exploring the world of dating with a new found vigor.

I’ve been learning game from many of my red pilled brethren, and I wanted to post updates on my progress for everyone to see.

As I have told you, my goal is for you to get a real sense of what it’s like to be in my life, as I confront challenges, learn new skills, approach women, and live my new life as a Red Pill aware man.

Where Can I Learn Game?

There are many resources for men to learn game. I’ve been using several good references for my game practice. But I’ve been trying to learn it from several sources, especially trying to see what works for me. Rather than just googling “PUA techniques” which will of course get you some idea on what to do, I’ve been going through several avenues. So let’s start with books that gave me a good background while I’m out there:

  • The Rational Male series – Rollo Tomassi: Obviously I have a soft spot for Rollo as his book was the reason I became unplugged in the first place. Knowing the world of the Red Pill is a huge first step, and these books deliver that is spades.
  • The Game – Neil Strauss: This is the quintessential read for anyone looking to see what the PUA community is all about. A very good read for some history on game and who plays it.
  • The Art of Seduction – Robert Greene: A very good primer on all things seduction. Greene really drives home methods of seduction, describing types of seducers and each of their preferred methods.
  • Mode One – Alan Roger Currie: A quality book detailing Currie’s preferred pickup motif, direct communication. I’ve read it twice now and have employed techniques in this book.
  • The Mystery Method – Mystery: Quite possibly the most famous PUA wrote a book on pick up, and it’s very good. I recommend it.
  • The Way of the Superior Man – David Deida: A great primer into the mindset men have to have when dealing with women, career, and life in general. I can’t say enough good things about this book.

I have several game gurus on my side bar as well for good reference. There are hundreds of other books by authors like RooshV, Mark Manson, Pook, and others that can give you information.

Why Do I Need to Learn Game?

Game transcends all things in your life. It’s not only good for picking up women, but is also good for advancing your career, and good for getting you to your purpose. It promotes and builds confidence, which is the number one factor that is invaluable for you to have with any endeavor.

Also, as in my case, online dating is a cop out for a beta looking to be plugged back in. Most men don’t like to date, they want to be dominated by a woman in their life so they can talk about sports, play golf, or play video games.

But men who actually want something out of life MUST learn some sort of game. They have to be able to handle themselves with different types of people in different situations. It’s one thing for a man to go through the motions, quite another for one to be a trailblazing leader of men. This is why game is so important. It gives you the skills to be a badass.

So I’ve Learned About Game, Now What?

Well, now you have to do what I did. I would also do it concurrently so that you’re learning on multiple fronts. The concurrent steps are:

  • Get your ass to the gym and
  • Start practicing your approaches!

These are both key in your grasp of game. Why? Because:

  • Going to the gym will improve your physique and grow your confidence
  • Practicing approaching women will increase your knowledge and improve your game with women

I am doing both of these things more and more. I go to the gym 4 days a week, for about 1 1/2 to 2 hours at a time.

I also have been approaching women. I’m all for cold approaches, however, I’m more of an IOI (Indictor of Interest) type of approacher. Cold approaches work in terms of sheer numbers, but for guys like me with a tough time finding good times to just do this, the IOI approach can be golden, you just need to know what to look for. BestPUATraining.com is a good start for looking for IOI’s.

The bottom line on IOI’s is sustained eye contact from a woman, as well as a smile from her.

The best way to start your game is to have three things down pat:

  • Eye contact
  • Open Mind
  • SMILE!

Keep practicing, going to the gym, and boosting your confidence. You’ll find your preferred method with study, practice, and adjustments.

How Do I Meet Women?

So, you’re like me. You’re 35-45, you’ve learned about game, but where in the hell do you go to meet women? Online dating, in my opinion, should not be a primary source of your approaches. Most of what I’ve found in online dating are girls with emotional issues, fatties, or spam. It’s convenient, which is why it’s not a good source of women. You gotta work for it (you knew I would say that, didn’t you?).

At best, online dating should be supplementing your social life. It should never be a primary catalyst for meeting women.

You have to get out of your shell. If it just means going to a bar, sitting by yourself and having a drink, then so be it. Here are some ways I’ve been meeting women recently:

  • I took a yoga class. Not only do you meet women, but they are fit and you get in shape.
  • I’ve increased my social circle. Whether it be through work, finding hobbies that you share with other men, joining clubs, the gym, etc. Meeting new people always opens up the possibility of meeting new WOMEN.
  • Go (by myself, yes) to bars, clubs, coffee shops, and restaurants. Being able to be comfortable with yourself is a giant weight off of your shoulders in the quest for game.
  • As you get into shape, do other classes, or join a Brazilian Ju Jitsu or boxing club. Knowing how to fight increases your confidence, as well as putting you in better shape.
  • OCR Racing or other activities are a great way to meet fit women. I do Spartan, which allows me to travel to events and meeting hot girls.
  • Networking through your business. As a business owner, this is invaluable, not only for growing potential business leads, but also for meeting women. Many of these events are at bars, pubs, or restaurants, and the women come with the turf.

These are just a sample of the many things you could do. There are hundreds of other examples.

RPD Field Report #1

So with the quick and dirty about game out of the way, let’s start with my first approaches while learning game. Here are some of what I’ve encountered.

I’ve had about 21 approaches in the past three weeks, most have happened at bars, pubs, yoga class, and four happened at my networking events. I will detail a few that I’ve found success with:

  • I was at a networking event and I noticed an 8 looking at me. I kept eye contact, and then smiled. We held the look for a few more seconds, then I approached. She was distracted by another person, so I interrupted and asked her if she wanted a drink. I whisked her away to another part of the bar, talked with her for about 30 minutes, and closed with a number.
  • I was at my local pub drinking when a 7 came up to me and asked me if I was looking at her (I wasn’t, I was actually looking at another girl, I didn’t even notice her, lol), and I replied, “No, but I’m looking at you now.” She laughed, sat down, and I closed with her number.
  • I was flirting with a bartender at a club and had just learned palm reading (or that’s what I told her) and she watched me as I clumsily tried to read her palm. She was flattered and I closed with her number.
  • I asked a girl out I had been flirting with (a solid 7 server) and she replied with “I’m just so busy, I don’t know if I can.” My response was “You’re not busy enough for me.” She gave me her number.

These are just a few of the examples of my closes. As I learn and gain more confidence, it will only get better.

I’ve also had several approaches that have ended in her walking away in disinterest. There have been many (75%) of these approaches that have resulted in shitty rejections, but the one thing you have to do is shrug it off and realize it’s not a slam against you, it’s a slam against your game. One girl called me a fat ass and said she doesn’t date fat guys, another girl said I looked like a nerd she picked on in college (keep in mind I’m 43, 6’4″ and about 260 lbs). So you will get rejected, A LOT. Keep at it.

Remember, Rollo always says “Rejection is better than regret.”

Online Dating as a Supplement

As an experiment, I am supplementing my game with Tinder. My goal right now is to meet lots of different types of women, and with an app that allows me to do that on a swipe, I had to take advantage of the convenience. Now, I will tell you that Tinder is a shit show. There are tons of fatties, especially where I’m at, and emotionally challenged women from all walks of life. As you begin dating again like I do, you’ll learn to spot those types and swipe left.

My preconditions:

  • no fatties
  • anything with a Snapchat filter is automatically swipe left
  • profiles without full body shots is a swipe left
  • Anything where there are pictures of every body part except face is swipe left

So I know a lot of you don’t approve of online dating, but in the spirit of meeting as many women as I can, it’s proven to be a hot bed, especially since I’m tall (6’4″) and muscled out. But my filters have helped as well.

Dating as The Red Pill Dad

So there’s a brief glimpse of what I’m dealing with as a 40-something navigating the dating pool in the Midwest. I will continue to produce these reports as I get the time, and will report my triumphs and setbacks. I want you all to see what I deal with in real time, with real time results. If I can do anything, I want to convince all of you that you can do this, and you can do it well.

Time will tell with me personally. But I’m already off to a great start, and have achieved more in 6 months than I could’ve possibly imagined.

Men In Dating

Photo Credit: Wall Street Journal

This is Part 3 of my “Men In” Series.

After my separation and eventual divorce in 2015 and 2016, I was in a new place. It had been a decade since I had managed any experience in the dating world, and as a horrible blue pilled plug-in, I had done online dating (eHarmony) to land the languished piece of crap I had just divorced myself from. I had zero experience with women, still, and had not attempted to unplug myself. So here I was, officially single again, with only blue pill basics to help me navigate the dating world. I was fucked. And not in the good way.

So what did I do? Well, I drifted. I dated little in the following months, actually meeting and dating a dominatrix 5 with BPD, a clingy six with daddy issues, and a one night stand with a decent 6. Essentially, the bottom of the barrel in terms of what I could, and knew I should, be able to pull. I thought this is what it was all about. It was all very pathetic.

Blue Pill men these days are in a similar predicament, not because it’s the true nature of the current dating scene, but it’s the inability of these men to see anything else. Being plugged in means accepting this “reality” as what it is, as it’s all they know. And it’s exactly what women want. Tinder and similar dating apps have become a tool for female hypergamy, weeding out the betas from the alphas. It’s just another screening process for women, only now, beta men are not only tolerating it, but their unending thirst is also putting women who shouldn’t be there on a pedestal. 4’s and 5’s who shouldn’t be getting a second look now have hundreds of beta orbiters.
So why is it this way?

It didn’t use to be. Before the advent of the right swipe, men were more than their thirst. They had a purpose, drive, and ambition, three things that are extremely sexually arousing to women. But men, especially the blue pill types, became lazy. Porn streams instantly to their finger tips, and now, they can peruse women without having to do the hard stuff, approaching and actually talking to a woman. Instead of continuing to pursue a full life, men sat back and let women fill the void, corrupting the online dating world in the process, turning it into just another shit test. And on top of that, men are programmed by the Feminine Imperative to believe that 8’s and 9’s are out of their league, so alas, they settle for being the head of the fan club of a solid 5-6, orbiting forever. How fucking depressing.

So how do I now navigate this dating world as a single, Red Pill father? I don’t. I dictate my own life, and let the dating world come to me. I have to do three things. I unplug. I improve, and I approach.

When you are a high value, high quality man, you will have your choice of women. But this comes with a serious caveat. You have to get to the high quality, high value parts first. This means working on three aspects of your game. And it’s not a road map either, you can and will need to do all three things at once. It’s not a set of directions, it’s a set of inflections.

Unplug

As we in the manosphere always preach, unplugging is a primary step in getting out of this wickedly depressing cycle. When a man unplugs, he sees the dating world for what it actually is, and realizes it’s about him. It’s about what he’ll tolerate. It’s about what he’ll accept. And when he realizes he doesn’t have to accept this bullshit, he then can move on to opening his world up to new avenues. When you say “no” to the current state of the dating world, you are now wresting control of your life from the FI and all its pitfalls. Until you’re truly unplugged, you cannot fulfill the preliminary part of your contract with yourself. Being true and honest to yourself will help you to be true and honest with others, so this, quite frankly, the biggest hurdle to hit first.

Improve

As the hard truths become apparent to you while being unplugged, you will have to realize these truths in your own life, and do something about them. Here are some of the hard red pill truths to the dating world:

  1. Looks matter.
  2. Confidence matters.
  3. Hypergamy doesn’t care.
  4. Women will not approach you.
  5. Nice guys finish last.
  6. Women want to be led, they don’t want to lead.
  7. You are your top priority, not getting a girlfriend.
  8. Being yourself doesn’t work. You must be a better version of yourself.

The last one is apropos for the dating world. Nothing tips the scales in your favor like being an attractive, successful, unabashed man. So get to work. Get to the gym, eat right, sleep fully, get your ambition going. You are the catalyst for all of your success. The waiting for success doesn’t get you there. You will slowly, steadily build confidence in your life, and it will affect every aspect of it. As you build, and you must build one brick at a time, and it will take time, you will become more than you are now. And this excites the shit out of women. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.

Approach

Yes, sir! The dreaded “a” word. After all of that work to get yourself to where you are, you still, even while you are striving to bring change to yourself, have to approach. You can choose several avenues. There’s daygaming, which is approaching during the day (office, street, shops, etc.) or gaming at night, which is the Mystery Method way of doing things (among many others). But even after he got the girl, Mystery still struggled with beta tendencies in his failed long term relationships. It’s about the man behind the game, and he must be strong.

The bottom line is: you have to work with what you’re comfortable with, however, you MUST APPROACH. And, gasp, you must open yourself up to consistent REJECTION. No matter how good you look, how successful you are, how amazing you are in bed, YOU WILL GET REJECTED. Swallow your pride, and do it. This is one of the hardest truths for a beta to swallow. They base their entire existence on being accepted by women, and after their first rejection, they fall out and want to plug back in. It’s a hard truth that MUST be learned. It was a truth that I still grapple with in certain situations to this day, and approach anxiety is very real. But the only way to overcome your fear is to do it, and keep doing it until it becomes second nature. There will be good days and bad, but keep swinging, studying, and analyzing, and you’ll get a hit, and maybe a home run. Before long, you’ll be a power hitter.

Conclusion

So, where do you go from here? It’s really up to you. I want to stress that you can meet plenty of women without online dating, the old fashioned way, by opening your life up to improvement and new experiences. The old adage of love yourself before you love another really applies here. Men need to start swiping right on their own lives, and not on a solid 5 with two kids. When men start taking responsibility for themselves, and righting the wrongs they’ve made in their life, women will start to take notice. As women’s Instagram and Tinder matches start drying up, they’ll soon realize that the jig is up. Men are back, stronger than ever, and making these thots extinct. But until then, we have to keep working to unplug one man at a time. It will take time, but it will be worth it.

So start looking inward to your own world, and making it yours. You never, ever, need a woman to be happy. A woman is a compliment to a full masculine life. Your goal has and always will be your happiness, and not being a woman’s accessory. You’re better than that. So life awaits, get out there and make something happen.

Men In Love

Credit:  WebMD

This is Part 2 of my “Men In” series:

There she is.  That girl you can’t get out of your head.  Great body, long blond hair, great smile, blue eyes, nice tits, sweet personality, everything you ever wanted.  She’s all you can think about.  You haven’t asked her out yet, but you see her every day at work, or every week at the gym, or this month at your friend’s get together.  She’s perfection to you.  She can do no wrong.  

She’s the girl of your dreams. 

Congrats, you have what we in the Manosphere call “oneitis“, or an obsession with one particular girl, or what some in the beta male would would classify as love.  It’s portrayed as a man’s reason for living, and most plugged in men continue to pursue this fantasy, sometimes even succeeding, then getting buyer’s remorse for not knowing the complexities of women

As we are approaching the reprehensible holiday of Valentine’s Day, a holiday invented in the second century AD by the Christians to skirt Emperor Claudius Gothicus’s marriage decree, and now hijacked by corporations, the Church, the feminine imperative, and Hollywood to make men feel bad for not giving gifts, spending time, or spending money on their significant others, we continue see love being perverted for different gains.  It’s been weaponized against men, through this wretched holiday, as well as through the lens of what the feminine imperative could squeeze from it.

It’s time to talk about men in love. 

Why Do You Hate Love?

“Love”, for lack of a better term, is used far too often for too many situations these days.   Love is supposed to be a catch all for strong emotions about something or somebody. 

The general response to the above diatribe from women to me would be, “Anyone who hates Valentine’s Day or love hasn’t really ever been in love, or they have experienced a bad heartbreak.”
While I have indeed experienced bad heartbreak (as have many men), I loathe that anyone who says I don’t like the word “love” is implying that I’m harboring an internal grudge against it because of past incidents with girls who rejected or broke up with me.  People are dying to connect these dots, because it supposedly invalidates my argument. 

From personal experience, in my early days as an AFC beta, I celebrated Valentine’s Day.  I thought I had to shower a girl with trinkets, gifts, and attention to validate my love for her.  I quickly learned that this was a fruitless endeavor.  I grew a bit wiser, and throughout my later relationships and up to my marriage, I seldom celebrated Valentine’s Day, and “love” was implied in my relationships. When I was married, my wife, at first, didn’t need proof of my feelings for her, but when the time came that she did need this proof (and the check almost always comes due at some point), I was already out the door.  The way that I saw it was, if I had to prove my love to this woman, it ceased to be love, and was now a business transaction.

Men can only feel “love”, or what they think is “love”, because as a goal, logic, and task oriented species, men focus on a goal and look for a solution.  That answer when dating is finding “true love”, or the ultimate solutions to a man’s “problem” of being single.  

This is what a fem-centric society wants.  Love, as with most things these days, has been hijacked by the feminine imperative not as a raw emotion, but as yet another filter to use for their hypergamic natures.  When a man gets oneitis, more often that not, he might as well be holding a giant, imaginary sign that states, “Average Frustrated Chump.”  Women avoid this like the plague, and when they see it, depending on the phase they’re in, not even Beta Bucks will help you. 

Countless romantic movies show men falling for a woman, being the “nice guy”, and getting his oneitis.  That’s how it’s supposed to be.  That’s how a fem-centric society wants to weed out the weak betas.

I don’t hate love, I hate what it’s being used for.

 

The Problem Of Love

For decades now, the manosphere has been accused of being misogynist, as well as decrying the values of love.  I think I speak for most of the mainstream manosphere when I say, I “love” women.  What do I mean?

Well, when I say love in the dating / relationship world, I should be saying:
-I enjoy the female form
-I enjoy the female company
-I enjoy sex with an attractive female, all the emotions and feelings I get from experiencing pleasure with the opposite sex
-I respect and appreciate everything a female has to offer
-I have an incredible admiration for all the amazing things females can do that men can’t

So, if you must call these things love, then I guess I can be called guilty for “loving” women.

The main problem with love is that it’s an emotion you can’t have without consequences. 

Love precipitates in many forms, including good and bad, but all very legitimate.  It’s one of the rawest emotions.  It’s brutality and bliss.  It’s decadence and danger.  It’s volatility incarnate.  It’s chaos.  This is why it can be used very effectively by women, because as creatures of chaos, it’s in their very large wheelhouse.

No matter how the chips fall in the dating world,  saying that word invokes strong emotions from females.  It’s a game changer, and as many a man has found out (including yours truly), saying that word too quickly in a relationship spells the end of said relationship.  You can’t say it until she does, and even then the feeling may not be mutual.  She’s always got something else on her mind, and it’s probably not you.  Unless you have an understanding about the general nature of women, as well as their feelings on love, you don’t have the knowledge of the dynamics involved.  The red pill alleviates many of these pitfalls.

The Responsibility of Love

Love is not harmless.  It’s not a fleeting emotion.  It’s a big deal, and it can get men into a lot of trouble.  When men love, there are many caveats attached to this love, including financial, emotional, and physical support of their woman.  This is how society expects men to show their love.  Women certainly don’t need this love, as they are capable of supporting themselves, but throughout early to dawn of the 20th century history, the man has been the bedrock of a relationship, creating the “bubble” which the woman had operated in. 

Then, with the advent of the Sexual Revolution of the 1960’s, women awoke to a new day where they controlled the dynamic, and they have not wrested control of it.  They were the bubble, they made the decisions, they played the part.  The sexual strategies being employed to this day developed in the past 50 years, and continue to evolve.

This is how society has been built.  Love no longer represents a harmless feeling, it’s very real, and if men aren’t prepared, can be damaging beyond belief.  It also represents a huge financial windfall for anyone wanting to make money off of it’s effects, from businesses marketing products, to family law, to state and federal governments, to churches, love’s for sale.  And if you choose not to play the game of love?  You’re a misogynist who’s been wronged far too many times by women.  Shame, guilt, and ridicule await you.

I don’t condone hating love.  My job is to make men aware of what it entails, what it stands for, and what it really means to be in love.  Love was sold as a good thing, suspending men in the good life, being happy, having sex, everything you were told it was about.

However, love is no longer a fruitless emotion, it is a responsibility.  And when presented like that, it’s not all roses and silk sheets.  I’m here to tell you that it’s not. 

As many wise men have stated, one cannot fully embrace the love of another without first securing the love of oneself.

One of the biggest adjustments of being red pill aware is not only the cynicism of love, but also the promise of how love can truly be fulfilled.  One thing that red pill knowledge has afforded me is the ability to realize more amazing relationships.  When you know what I know, you can approach love and relationships with logic, and still revel in the joys, feelings, and sensations of it.

Love is like fire.  It can be controlled, harnessed for good, but only after you know how to deal with it properly.  So educate yourself, so you can truly love again.


 

Panem et Circenses

Juvenal – Roman satirical poet
In Satire X, Juvenal laments about the days past of a strong, united Rome that took it’s civic duties seriously, fought for the empire, and represented the strength of their conquests.   Roman men fought in wars to expand their empire, participated in government, and gave all other civilizations pause as to the impressiveness of the Roman civilian / soldier / governmental representative.  
It was a time when honor, strength, and abilities of it’s subjects made Rome the greatest empire in history.  In fact, one of this blogger’s most admired men, Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus, a legendary figure who at one time abdicated absolute power, was a symbol of Roman manliness and virtue.  I recommend reading up on him…for there’s a reason a city in the US was named after him.
When Juvenal wrote about “bread and circuses” in the early days of the early 100’s A.D., he was in the midst of a period of incredible stability.  The period was known as “The Five Good Emperors”, was the longest, uninterrupted peace in the Roman Empire.  In fact, when Juvenal wrote Satire X, Trajan was just beginning the expansion of the Roman Empire to it’s largest extent, from Spain to the Arabian Sea.  
So what are “bread and circuses”?  It was a saying developed by Juvenal to describe the declining Roman citizen.  After years of taking up arms, the Romans had let others fight their wars, enslaved all they conquered, and had resorted to a life of sloth, greed, crapulence, and laziness.  They did not take pleasure in ruling, they took pleasures in eating, drinking, socializing, and enjoying their spoils.  Thus, the “bread and circuses” distinction was one of the Romans becoming mindless sheep, only interested in drinking, sexual experimentation, and who won the latest race at the Circus Maximus.  
So why do I do a blog about this topic?  What does this have to do with being Red Pill aware?
The term “plugged in” was obviously from The Matrix, a movie with so many comparisons to Ancient Rome.  We are in a plugged in environment, with social media dominating us everyday, our need to get validation from total strangers continues to grow.  We actually get a dopamine high from someone liking our posts, and just like a drug, we continue to post hoping that next comment, retweet, or like will go viral, making us popular with the human race.
As a blue pilled beta, my life was dominated by social media.  I followed thots (those hoes over there) on Instagram, hoping that my one comment would get their attention and they would DM me.  I posted on Facebook hoping for validation of my feelings, my aspirations, my desires.  I posted on Twitter and started internet fights with complete strangers, hoping someone would validate me and my opinion.
My screen time on social media as a blue pill exceeded 4 hours a day.  Always worried about who would like my post, always screening any notifications that someone liked my post.  I was a sheep.  I was more plugged in than I had ever been.

So if you’re immersed in the world of social media and not focusing on yourself, your goals, your dreams, and your ambition, you’re in effect enjoying “bread and circuses”.

You’re watching all the life around you while not working on yourself.  You’re sheep.

Source:  Gizmodo Australia

CUT IT OFF

So what to do? You cut if off.  I decided to distance myself from social media.  I deleted all apps.  I went dark on all platforms for almost 3 months.  It became necessary to focus all of my attention on myself.  I needed validation, but from me.  I became more self aware of what destructive habits I was involved in online.  I unfollowed the thots, some of whom wondered where I went.  
“Why aren’t you following me anymore?”  one asked.  
“Because, I need to follow myself.” I stated bluntly.
I didn’t need to waste time validating others or trying to validate myself in their eyes.

So, do it.  Uninstall Facebook, Instagram, Twitter…everything.  Until you are ready to use it in a manner that doesn’t require you to check it every 10 seconds for validation, it should be gone.  Don’t explain it to anyone either.  Say, “I needed my life back.”

So what were the results of this self imposed exile on social media?
I began to discover that the world around me was more than just fleeting internet dopamine gains.
I went to the gym, I read, I discovered.  I talked to people.  I hit on girls, I dated, I had amazing sex.
In short, I was living the life I was trying to portray to complete strangers on social media, except I wasn’t sharing it with any of them. 
After I had cut off social media, I wasn’t in any hurry to get back and show off my new life.  The only reasons, I figured, to get back on social media was to make money, help others, and teach men about what I had went through.  So I made a plan for when I actually got back on, and I haven’t wavered from it.  
I strongly recommend giving up social media to focus on yourself.  It will be tough, as those who relied on you to be their validation will come calling, wondering where you went.  And when they do, just say one thing.  
“I got a life.”